In an unprecedented move, which could only be pulled off by the District of Columbia Police Department, the DC gang problem has now been eliminated. They now have a “crew” problem. According to the Washington Times, groups of thugs who hang out with each other and cause problems will no …

Redskins owner, Dan Synder, known for his outstanding patience and primo coach-picking ability, is telling the media he’s a matured adult. [no really, he is] Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder says, however, that despite the seemingly radical departures from past practices, he hasn’t really changed, only matured. Matured men apparently …