Look up at your calendar, folks. It’s May — which means spring in the District is finally upon us. Put away your snow boots, stock up on the deodorant and prep yourselves for #DCspring2014. Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered on where to go from here. Wait, is it REALLY here? Ways you know: There’s always  a line out the door of every salad place downtown. Swimsuit season folks. Parking: Ha. Good one. That special dead-of-August feeling is looming. Weather forecasters predict 80 degree weather, not exceeding 90. That’s a mild spring day in the District. Your Google Cal has no availability. You may wait for the bus forever. No, really. As in, it will never arrive. Tourists are taking pictures of everything. Corner of random building? Picture. Group of flowers. Picture. Beer? Picture. You feel your inner athlete resurface, only to one day twist your ankle on a sunrise monument run. Your inner athlete will retreat back to your living room for the remaining warm weather. “IT’S NOT THE HEAT. IT’S THE HUMIDITY!” is always being yelled now. Cherry blo- well, they’re gone now. No Instagram for you. There are too many activities to pick from. All in the same night: your friend’s party, an acquaintance’s party, a spring happy hour, three concerts you want to see. Brunches are getting a lot more aggressive. People are finding really creative places to lay out when the sun’s shining. Prep to Sweat: Throw out that old pair of flip flops you’ve had for 2 years and get some real summer footwear. Air out your seersucker apparel if Derby Weekend didn’t make you do that already. Buy excess sunscreen, bug spray and perfume. Get all koozies in a prominent place in your home for easy access. Familiarize yourself with reading weather radar. You’re gonna need it. Ready your 1 liter reusable water bottle, preferably one that effectively hides booze. Get a few sessions of hot yoga in to simulate the insane heat, humidity and close proximity of strangers you are about to experience. Plot a map of all rooftop bars to consult at a moment’s notice. Plot a map of well air-conditioned, commercial building lobbies to duck into at a moment’s notice. Fluff your couch cushions because everyone you know wants to visit “when it gets warmer.” Major mistake, friends, relatives & obscure college classmates. Find your damned sunglasses. Steel yourself against the crushing loneliness that will inevitably surface when your friends have plans to get out of town, oh, every single weekend. Know that you can always make it that one more block to the bar, no matter how close to collapse you feel. Remind yourself of the best angle at which you can stand to feel the feeble air conditioning drifting out of the columns on underground Metro platforms. Pro-Tips Congress is on recess. PARTY! An umbrella makes an excellent walking stick and tourist tripping device. Ladies: You can wear your hair up 5 days in a row and no one will judge you. The National Mall gets its own zip code when it fills up. You will go to unreasonable lengths to get a ride to a summer festival (aka a $150 Uber ride). Many people in DC have winter climate pups. No one likes a sweat stain, not even the Hollywood for Ugly People. Jazz in the Garden exists. Google it. It’s awesome. It’s also BYOB. Biking in traffic is a lot harder than Capital Bikeshare promotional photos make it out to be. DC “natives” come up with quite creative excuses to partake in a 3-day weekend vacation. Do with this knowledge what you will. The amount you sweat outside will never equal the amount of beer you’re taking in. Sangria: it’s a lifesaver.

They’re sure as hell gonna try. h/t DCist L Street NW – We're rolling…trying to catch them #parkingdirty. Again: Please, please don't park in our bike lanes. pic.twitter.com/hHzRMasaEe — DDOT DC (@DDOTDC) May 5, 2014

Game on: The lineup for Members vs. Press (aka the 2014 Congressional Women’s Softball Game) has just been announced. Full roster below. Get your tickets for the Wednesday, June 18, 2014 game at 7PM. It’s always a blast, and ticket money goes to a good cause: benefiting the Young Survival …

Actress Robin Wright (a.k.a. Claire Underwood from House of Cards) got sassy this weekend when asked about her favorite WHC: …we tried to get Wright’s take on her favorite White House correspondent. You know the folks whose work the weekend is supposed to be celebrating? “Who are they?” she asked, …

Cinco de Mayo [margarita prices] Mirror, mirror on the wall [which rap artist has the largest vocabulary of them all?] Are you single? Do you make $100-200k? [we have the perfect 400 square foot studio for you] The running of the chihuahuas [this is really actually a thing] Building collapses …

Good weather is finally here, and so is your weekend. If you’re not invited to any WHCD events, not to worry. There ARE other things happening in DC.

Want to find the most traveled routes in D.C. by both bike and running … so you can avoid those sidewalks? Yeah, us too. Check out this map from Strava. h/t Washingtonian  

This joke never gets old. Post by Barack Obama.

Jim Billimoria is a photographer and Communications Director for the House T&I Committee. (Can he get more talented? Seriously.) He took this photo of the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool at sunrise over the weekend and captured this mesmerizing symmetry.

Adieu dinosaur bones [DC says goodbye to Fossil Hall until 2019] Uber’s defensive [because UberX can be deadly] Nationals conquer the Padres 4-0 [Natitude] Kids too frequently are [skipping school in DC] Old Post Office Tower closing [on Thursday] House of Cards will stay in Maryland after all [everything’s coming …

Are you going to the Challenge Festival May 9-17? You should. Get inspired, get things done.

This is not only an amazing feat of technology, it’s a feat of diplomacy as well. President Obama played soccer with a robot.  

Our good friends Michael Mansour and Ginny Veatch are getting married this year, and last week they sent out the most epic DC save the date ever. Full text below. Presumably Michael, a Legislative Assistant in Congress, has experience writing bills and we believe this deserves bipartisan support. Ginny, a …

This just in: political scientists are over-represented in D.C. Business Insider compiled the numbers from the Bureau of Labor Statistics to figure out which jobs are most popular in each state. Click below to see the full resolution map.

Graffiti drones [are a thing] Craving grilled cheese today? [you’re lucky] Narrowly escaping punishment [DC fire lieutenant] Here’s your cherry blossom tourist scavenger hunt [the most dangerous game] Cherry Blossoms in peak bloom [quick, everyone frame a building between the branches] Photo by Nathan Jones