Walmart just can’t get anything right [checkout discrimination] WaPo won Pulitzer prizes [two, count ’em] A reminder that hey, [maybe you should call your mom] What DC taxpayers say about DC [tax day stats] But what do your taxes say about you? [2013 tax distribution] It’s also [Jackie Robinson day] …

Did you take a private jet to Las Vegas and get arrested for cocaine possession? [Paris Hilton] Do you think John Mayer could take Ryan Grim? [full of sh*t] “OMG, there are so many of them here …” [Journolist] Happy Monday. Let’s rock this week.

Apparently, Hugo got a little jealous over our whole “nationalizing health care” debate here and took it up a notch by nationalizing a freakin’ Hilton hotel. [that’s hot] Perhaps he’s trying to find some additional revenue after oil profits plunged , or maybe it’s just a ploy to become Parish …

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

What would a Paris Hilton Administration look like? Ramin Setoodeh: Ms. Hilton Goes to Washington Our favorite of Adam McKay’s top 7: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue would become more Parisian in other ways. “Instead of a bowling alley in the basement of the White House, Paris would have a Pilates studio. …

FamousDC has decided to get off the sidelines during this historic election. We’re ready to endorse a candidate… See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Or so we assume it was her idea.  We’ll give Team McCain credit – it’s sure to be the most talked about web ad of the day – perhaps week. UPDATE: TMZ scoops – and Obama’s camp returns the favor.