Facebook Awesomeness: Just completed the quiz “How much do I care about your quiz results?” with the result “zero”. Glad to know we’re not the only ones who don’t give a shat about "which Hollywood D-lister would play us in a CBS made-for-TV movie?" And for the record, we also …

Facebook Status Abuse: happy anniversary to my car sandra dee!" We hope your car’s career ends better than that of the real Sandra Dee — From Wikipedia :  By the late 1960s her career had started to decline, and a highly publicized marriage to Bobby Darin ended in divorce. Should’ve …

Facebook Status Awesomeness: Was just asked by two guys how to get to the building in which we were all standing. If this ever happens again, tell them that the building they’re looking for is two doors down. Then when they return, after figuring out that you were wrong – …

A few months ago [pre swine flu] we wrote about an epidemic sweeping the nation.  When we first alerted FDC fans about how we felt about the state of Facebook abuse, it was our hope that the problem would get better.  It hasn’t. Not only are the abuses getting worse, …

Facebook Status Abuse: Tim: It’s Monday morning- getting haircut and reading the Constitution. Some around here in Washington seem to have forgotten what it says. First of all Captain America, the fact that you’re reading Constitution instead of the free copy of US Weekly, makes you one strange fellow.  Secondly, …

Facebook Status Abuse: I just dropped my laptop and part of the reason I am typing this is to see if it still works. 🙂 And guess what?  It still would’ve worked had you not hit submit. PS: Glad to know your emoticon maker still works 🙂 [contact-form 3 "Facebook …

Facebook Status Abuse: Donna is thinking that texting is annoying esp when people don’t text back. What’s the point. Grrrrrr. Donna, read between the lines.  If they’re not texting you back, there’s probably good reason. [contact-form 3 "Facebook Alerts"]

Facebook Status Abuse: Jennifer just found a fruit snack stuck in her cleavage. It must have been there a while, because it melted. One more reason why I dislike my large chest! We have no comment at this time. [contact-form 3 "Facebook Alerts"]

Facebook Status Abuse #1: Jim: @ the gym!!!…im gettin serious with this gym stuff….Got a trainer today!…ha i meant it when i said im spendin the wholllee summer half-naked…. Half-naked, but likely alone. Facebook Status Abuse #2: Katy: Getting ready for a BIG night…grilling burgers and dogs and having people …

Facebook Status Abuse : Jenny: holy crap my roommate just found a dimebag in her rental car! Jenny, quickly go get your roommate some sour cream and onion chips, some beef jerky and a jar of peanut butter. Get some Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, a whole lot and make sure …

Honesty in Facebook status updates [something we can appreciate] Craig: My legs burn from all the hiking this past weekend because I’m a fat bastard! Good work, Craig. Bonus points for not using "LOL". [contact-form 3 "Facebook Alerts"]

Facebook Status Abuse: Craig is going hiking with Tammy but can’t stop checking his blackberry! He is such a slave to work! Craig, the "Douchebag Parade" called, they’re hoping you could join them as the Grand Marshal. Are you friends abusers? [contact-form 3 "Facebook Alerts"]

Facebook Status Abuse: Adam: Tough, tough task ahead today. What Adam failed to mention, [because he was attempting to "bait" his friends] was that his "tough task ahead" involved him trying to tie his shoes without his mom’s help. Remember Adam, if you’re starving for attention, there’s always the Boys …

Facebook Status Abuse: I just wish some girl would feel attracted to me! We’re not in the business of piling on after the whistle, so we’re going to leave this one alone.  [and no this is not Lindsay Lohan’s update] [contact-form 3 "Facebook Alerts"]

Facebook Status Awesomeness: My girlfriend told me this morning that I was getting fat.  I didn’t respond.  Instead, I waited until now…  So, babe, if you’re reading this – it should be noted that you’re ass ain’t exactly small and if you think I’m fat, wait to you see me …