All right all you big-time editors (looking at you, Ryan Grim, Susan Glasser, Jon Allen, Rachael Smolkin, Gabriel Snyder, Karey Van Hall, and Rachel Van Dongen) – we’re helping you find the next generation of talent. We reached out to our sources and  compiled a list of 5 political reporters …

We’d watch it 24 hours a day if this was the usual programming. Courtesy of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon

We were inspired by Vox’s Confession of a Member of Congress, so we decided to take this to the next level. The following is compiled from conversations with several current Congressional staffers over the weekend. We promised anonymity in exchange for their honesty. Confessions of a Capitol Hill Staffer 9 secrets from the inside By: A Congressional staffer on February 10, 2015 I am a Congressional staff member. I’m not going to tell you from where, or from which party. But I serve, and I am honored to serve. I serve with good people (and some less good ones), and we try to do our best. It’s a frustrating, even disillusioning job. Constituents call us on a daily basis and yell about things they either saw while “upping” with Chris Hayes on MSNBC or listening to Rush Limbaugh discuss how Obama wants to take their retirement away. My parents want to know why I’m not making more money and my boss – the Honorable Member of Congress – constantly tells me that I’m lucky to have this job and there is a “line all the way back to the district” filled with young people who would swap seats with me. So here are some things I wish the public, the media (and my parents) knew about the lowly paid public servants shuffling up the escalator at Capitol South each morning. 1. This is nothing like Game of Cards or The West Wing I wake up each morning in a group house, wait for my turn to use the shower, take the Circulator to the hill, and hustle into the office only to be yelled at on the phone by fired-up constituents. I’ve done the math: these callers account for 0.6% of the entire population of our district. This is not a glamorous lifestyle. The only thing our bosses have murdered recently is the other party’s hopes for a smooth passage of their favorite bill this Congress. Reporters don’t care what information we can offer them, they have a better source already. We understand we’re all working for and towards something greater: one day being a big enough deal for Mike Allen to mention my birthday in Playbook. 2. I can smell out an open bar reception like a bloodhound I’ll eat three bowls of chips at Tortilla Coast before I order my first beer. Sometimes they charge you for the second order. Sometimes they don’t. I always hope they don’t. 25-cent wing night at Capitol Lounge is my weekly Thanksgiving. Do you know how many wings you have to eat to get full? My number is between 12 – 15. Cheap beer helps too. We don’t have money. Most of us struggle on a weekly basis to survive in this expensive city. If someone tells me about an open bar reception – I’m there. I’ve learned about human resources management, horse racing and the challenges of moving coal on a train. They all had one thing in common: free beer within walking distance of my office and the Metro. 3. We don’t always agree with the boss. A small part of us dies when we’re drafting talking points (or watching senior staff draft talking points) for a bill that is completely unlikeable, or will be unpopular in the district, or that we personally completely oppose. We know the boss is pandering to the vocal minority. We know the boss is falling in the party line. We know the boss will trade a vote on this for a favor at home. Maybe you don’t know that, but I do. I usually shove this out of my mind when I buy a dozen beers at the cheapest happy hour I can find. 4. This is basically an extension of college When our offices were in Cannon HOB we used to have hall parties. I’ve seen a keg rolled down the hallways into the office as soon as the boss was “wheels up” heading back to the district. The Congressional softball and touch football league are the next step from college intramurals. You office is your dorm hall and your state delegation is your fraternity. 5. My mom thinks I work for the President of the United States I answer constituent letters all day. Eight hours a day I am answering some constituent concern. The border, Obamacare, or bad credit ratings – I answer them all. My writing is top notch and it will help when I get into law school, but I am not shaping any policy. That doesn’t stop my mother. She tells everyone that asks about me that I work for the President. “Close Advisor.” She is always “surprised you haven’t seen him on TV yet.” I answer mail to people with enough time to send a letter (!?) to their Member of Congress. 6. Once you figure out your way around Rayburn – it is time to go The building is confusing. The second number is the floor level. There are escalator doors that only go up. Whoever designed this really wanted to confuse everyone. This is a great gig. I once had the opportunity to attend the State of the Union after we had a last minute cancelation. A friend of mine works for the Vice President’s office and he took us bowling in the basement of the White House. My friends might make more money at Deloitte right now but they haven’t seen Bono casually walking the hall outside their offices. 7. Most form letters sent to the office are filed in the “Z Drawer” We don’t know how much money the vendors make creating these emails, postcards and form letters – but we know where they all end up: Drawer Z. Also known as- the trash can. We may count them. We may give an estimate of how many letters showed up. But we all get the joke. Someone is paying to create this outcry. They’re not legitimate letters. We know this. The boss knows this. We don’t play along. 8. Congressional staffers are either still on their parents’ dime or struggling to pay rent We aren’t all trust fund kids, but most of the staff in my office are still getting money from their parents. They may pay rent, gas, or car payments. The helicopter parents are still hovering just like college. Actually, most of them are either big donors to the boss or work in the lobbying business. Me? I live in a group house on Capitol Hill with two friends. The three of us split a $1,600 per month row house in a sketchy part of the city near H Street, NE. Thanks to the good people at Legistorm all of my friends, reporters and colleagues know how much I take home on a monthly basis. This works both ways. The entire office looks up lobbying fees for the contract guys who come in and treat us like stepping stones on the way in to talk with the Chief of Staff. 9. Your social media commentary can get you fired in 24 hours Hill staff are careful and scared. Twitter pages are private. Facebook profiles don’t include your last name. Instagram is completely fake. Why jeopardize a $40,000 a year job and embarrass your parents for something you wrote on Twitter? Reporters love monitoring this and making examples of the offenders. Staffers who aren’t intentionally vague about what’s going on at work or, who are simply straight-up classless about what’s happening in the world, get called out. Any follower within gated protected accounts who has the power of the screenshot at their fingertips can and will send a stupid post out to reporters. As a measure of protection, we try very hard to make sure our feeds are full of only kittens, photos of us doing cool things in D.C., or press releases we’ve written. And those of us who attempt about managing the boss’ Twitter account on their phones: these Congessional offices are one beer away from having a deleted Tweet front-and-center on Politiwhoops. Banner photo by AOC Feature photo by Antwain Jackson

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Aaron Blake at The Fix said it best, it’s “the craziest sentence about a Florida congressman you will read this week.” Truth. ORLANDO, Florida — A trial to determine whether U.S. Rep. Alan Grayson’s wife committed bigamy when she wed the congressman has been delayed because she required emergency surgery …

Ashley Codianni at CNN played Cards Against Humanity with Members after SOTU. This is only one of the most amazing moments. Rep. Duffy got the question, “What puts a smile on Joe Biden’s face?” None of these Members, except Rep. Sean Duffy, know how to play. It’s incredible. Watch the …

Are you a new member of Congress? This guy has advice for you. 1. When flirting with women who aren’t your wife, DON’T post a pic of your junk on Twitter. http://t.co/gpt8Q21B0I pic.twitter.com/rjVJ2kt2Qn — Chris Moody (@moody) January 6, 2015 2. When you see underage page boys you think are …

If you watch the news, or have even been in a lobby on K Street waiting for someone long enough, chances are you’ve seen Erin McPike on CNN. Or perhaps you thought it was Jennifer Aniston. Regardless if you’ve seen her or not on television, I can assure she’s as funny and charming as she is intelligent and fierce on the tube. But don’t fret; she undercooks shrimp and chows down on Chef Geoff burgers just like the rest of us. [end clip, cue music]…our own Brian Johnson has the story. Growing up in the Midwest, Ohio to be exact, and attending college at DC’s American University, Erin’s transplanted D.C. roots are like many of ours. While they started somewhere distant, they have taken hold in and truly embraced D.C. I asked Erin where, in her college days, she liked to and hang out, or grab a bite to eat. “Chef Geoff’s,” she immediately said with a smile, “because that’s where I worked for three years and met my good friend Nora O’Donnell.” I thought supermugs of beer and $5 cheeseburgers drew her to their Monday night happy hours, but actually, she said her favorite thing to order there is, “The cashew curry humus. But I am not sure if it’s on the menu anymore. Hopefully it comes and goes.” You heard it here Geoff, bring back the curry humus – the people have spoken.

Don’t fret; she undercooks shrimp and chows down on Chef Geoff burgers just like the rest of us.

We D.C. transplants all find ourselves longing for food that reminds us of home, and our backgrounds. Where does Erin turn when she is craving something from home? She thought for a minute and said, laughing, “Um, I think I would embarrass my parents if I answered that totally truthfully. But I loved going to Don Pablos, there was one around the corner from my house in Ohio. But, I do not try to capture Ohio here in DC, I can say. Well, other than I do love Skyline Chili.” Uh-oh, here comes the crazy chili rant, I think to myself.  She continues, “And I wish everyone would stop knocking it and just try it. And I love also the BBQ sauce from Montgomery Inn, which is world famous and all these Southern boys need to get off their high horses and try some Cincinnati BBQ sauce.” Double-punch! When I remind her that I am Southern, and ask if I should get off my vinegar-based high horse and try it, she responds, “Precisely.” I said I’d take her word for it. To date I have yet to obtain some, however, if said sauce was procured, yours truly would happily make Cincinnati BBQ sauce ribs (Carolina sauce on the side, of course). In an attempt to redeem herself, she continues, “And I’ll tell you one other thing, so Cincinnati is a pretty lard-tastic town. We’re famous for Montgomery Inn, Skyline, and then ice cream. Oprah talks about Graeter’s, but no, Aglamesis Brother’s is the best ice cream in the mid west.” She schools Oprah and coins my new favorite word, “lard-tastic,” all in one sentence.  Redemption granted.

I remind her that I am Southern and ask if I should get off my vinegar-based high horse. She responds, “Precisely.”

Erin is currently attempting to broaden her culinary repertoire. However she admits her strengths on camera well outweigh her expertise in the kitchen. Does she cook? “I try a little bit. I am just beginning to learn. I used to bake when I was in high school, you know, for comfort I guess, but I can barely cook. I try to use the slow cooker. I am really trying to learn, but I am not great.” She handles her kitchen escapes with great humor and patience. She said recently she cooked an amazing meal, and everything was perfect…except the shrimp. “I did a really good job making everything else, it was my first attempt and making dinner, and my boyfriend could not even eat the shrimp. So my mom sent me a baking sheet and a grate and said ‘better luck next time’.” Before you go sending her online gift certificates for The Palm, never fear, she isn’t going hungry. Her boyfriend grills, and is pretty good at it too. “He grills a lot,” she said. “He has a Big Green Egg [hey, so does Amos!] and a Webber and he just made a pork shoulder and he just made a brisket last week. He is really pretty damn good at it I guess!” I decline to mention the benefits of a proper vinegar sauce on pork in the smoker and we move on – because brisket is amazing and I want an invite. Aside from a variety of what sounds like amazing smoked meat options, her culinary preferences are really a bit of a mixed bag – much like DC. So when asked what her favorite type of food to eat is, she replies, “That’s a hard question for me to answer because I basically like everything at diff times. I love Italian food like lasagna, but I also like sausage, egg and cheese biscuits in the morning. And I really like Thai food. ThaiX-ing is one of my favorite places. I also really like Rice as well, over on 14th Street, plus it’s one of the original 14th Street restaurants. So, yeah, I think that’s where I would go first: Italian or Thai.” I think Italian-Thai fusion is the one genre that is not on 14th Street.

Cincinnati is a pretty lard-tastic town. We’re famous for Montgomery Inn, Skyline, and then ice cream. Oprah talks about Graeter’s, but no, Aglamesis Brother’s is the best ice cream in the mid west.

Erin loves the DC food scene and even has a great idea for an Americana-fusion inspired place. On her thoughts on the DC food scene, she said, “I think it’s exploded in the last 5 years. I do think they need to revitalize Dupont Circle and Georgetown because there is so much new on 14th Street now and so much on H Street now, and on 8th Street Southeast in Eastern Market now that I think anyone who is crabbing about that [DC not being as good a food city a New York] now is well in the past.” I agree about Dupont and Georgetown falling a bit behind some of the recent trends. She continued with a vision, “One thing that I would like to see is – and I think this is right place for me to say this publically – you have people in DC from all over America, and maybe this goes on 14th Street, but there should be some sort of restaurant that brings together all the local American cuisine. Like the famous green chilies from New Mexico and buffalo wings from Buffalo, New York. And, this may be my way of getting Cincinnati chili somewhere, but you have staffers on the Hill from every state in the country. So I think we should have something that brings together all parts of America; and DC is the only place you could have it.” Erin could really have something here. Think about it, a different region of the country each week. You could literally go to the same place, once a week, for a month, and have something totally different. You’d never get tired of the menu, and with seasonal ingredients changing; the menu could stay remarkably interesting. “An American bistro is one thing, but they don’t drill down and get local stuff that I would like to see,” she added.

“If I’m going all out,” she said, “I want a cocktail that’s made with whipped eggwhites.”

Until her Americana mecca is conceived, she does have some favorites. “I live near Le Diplomate (however she recently sold her condo to our pal and former Feasting Famously interviewee, Jenna Golden), so I don’t need to give them anymore attention than they have already gotten in the past year. However I do know the best times to walk over and sit at the bar, so that’s good. I really like Hank’s Oyster Bar, the original one. I have not yet tried Rose’s Luxury, sadly. But I really am pretty partial to Chef Geoff’s, but I don’t get to eat there that much anymore. Talk about something that reminds you of home, I think Chef Geoff’s is just a great place like that. The food is good, Geoff is there a lot, it’s a friendly atmosphere, and so if I could only answer one thing it’d be that one.” If you think about it, Chef Geoff’s likely comes closest to the all-American transient place she spoke of creating earlier. They have a bit of everything, representing various cuisines or regions. Maybe Geoff Tracy should look into this regional mega restaurant concept. When hungry, she’s grabbing her dream burger with jalepenos, gouda, bacon, and chipotle mayo (no veggies on this burger for her)! After a bad day, she’s heading for a craft cocktail bar like The Gibson and whipping it up. “If I’m going all out,” she said, “I want a cocktail that’s made with whipped eggwhites.” Good day or bad, everyone likes to play with their food. We’re laughing and I ask if Erin was to get into a food fight with anyone, who would it be. “It would be Matt Dornic from CNN,” she said, laughing, “because it would be the most raucous food fight I could possibly imagine. And I’d want to throw spaghetti covered in tomato cream sauce,” she said – still laughing. She added, “You know, because it sticks!” We ended our interview with what came easily to a seasoned anchorwoman like Erin – the Feasting Famously Fast Five rapid-fire questions. I tossed out five words and she responded with the first thing that came to her mind: Chef Geoffs – Favorite Restaurant Champagne – favorite drink Ohio State – gross K Street – good times MSNBC – uuummmmmmm……just leave it at that If you don’t catch her on CNN, you just may see her waiting in the ever-growing line at Rose’s Luxury soon. As for presents and flowers from fans…I think a few cans of Skyline Chili may be better received. Stay hungry Erin, and keep up the great work!

#NATIONAL Never forget; don’t take your vitamins; A public apology that was actually terrible; male birth control is coming; these fashion models never need to eat; Ricky Gervais already got the new Apple Watch; Ducktales with real ducks; all your favorite movies recreated with stock footage; Schwarzenegger painted over Maria; …

#THELIST Are you on our list? We’re pulling together happy hours in September and October on Capitol Hill. #NATIONAL Yo, Russia – chill bro, you’re being totally harsh; 50 Cent vs. Floyd Mayweather update: point to Mayweather; is this the new imaginary girlfriend story of 2014?; Google’s cars can’t drive in …

It’s the last two weeks of recess. Have you checked everything off your recess bucket list? Better start working if you haven’t… Put off every conceivable task that you could until next week Taken a three-hour lunch at Bullfeathers Taken a much more harried three-hour lunch, off the hill (“sure, …

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#NATIONAL Did someone just call double-stuffed Oreos gauche?; Amazon will offer you a dollar to take their slower delivery service; surely we don’t need reading glasses yet, but when we do…; Goin’ to Mars again y’all; who watched Sharknado 2?; Named Skywalker? No passport for you; dollar dollar bill; pay …

#NATIONAL #DarthVader2016; 100 days until the election, can you make it?; Summer Vortex > Polar Vortex; Yelp trends: Chicken or the egg?; Nope nope nope nope; Could a Sharknado actually happen?; Type /ponystream into your gchat, just do it; Don’t just adopt a pet, adopt a best friend; there’s an out-of-control satellite …