It’s been a hot minute, so we figured it was time. According to TMZ, Bristol doesn’t do stop lights very well. The Accused — Bristol Palin The Crime — Failure to stop for a red light in Alaska on November 19. The Fine — $210

Unless this is ghost-written by Charlie Sheen and a warlock from Mars… [a coloring book?] The daughter of former Alaska governor Sarah Palin has signed with William Morrow to publish “Not Afraid of Life,” to come out this summer. Morrow, an imprint of HarperCollins, announced Tuesday that the memoir would …

Who doesn’t love Bristol?  [CNN goes back to back] CNN recently asked the following question that was certainly worth highlighting on their blog: Will Bristol ever run for office? [good question] The famous daughter of the former vice presidential candidate told E! News she “probably” will run for office some …

Dancing With the Stars has very passionate viewers. [fired up] Steven N. Cowan, 66, railed at the television as the daughter of former Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin appeared on the ABC program. So what exactly happened? According to the complaint, Cowan and his wife were watching “Dancing with …

The Daily Caller calls it “the most unusual PSA collaborations to date” and we couldn’t agree more. So in case you were sitting around waiting to watch the worst PSA ever produced, wait no longer.  [awful] Bristol Palin and The Situation star in The Abstinence/Safe Sex PSA:

Sarah Palin’s daughter attempts to dance in a monkey outfit.  [on a scale of 1 to awkward, this is a 9.5]

Are we the only ones that find this awkward to watch?

We had to post this, right? [“good hip action”] “My name is Bristol Palin. I’m a pubic advocate for teen pregnancy prevention, but most people know me as the daughter of former vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin.” Surprisingly not awful.

Did the Examiner add a zero? [$1400 seems right] $14,000 The amount of money Bristol Palin will make for an upcoming speaking gig. Palin will speak to single moms in Louisville, Ky., on Sept. 8 as part of a fundraiser for Lifehouse, a home for single mothers, the Louisville Courier-Journal …

Some people dream of Jeannie, others dream about Bristol Palin … “Had a dream about Bristol Palin last night. She lived in my closet with baby Tripp and asked me to get her a rum and coke.” She adds, “This is when you know your job has consumed your life…” …

It isn’t like anyone was surprised when Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston decided to call it dunzo. Fortunately for Levi, his attorney Rex Butler has already figured out how this relationship is going to turn out…just fine. Johnston’s lawyer told us he doubts the couple is truly broken up for …

There are no words to describe this.  Actually, there are words, but none of the ones we attempted to use were even remotely appropriate. Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are back together and plan to get married. Mama Grizzly apparently doesn’t know. “We got engaged two weeks ago,” Bristol, 19, …

We would’ve held out for $45,000. Bristol Palin has signed with a speakers bureau for a tidy sum of between $15,000 and $30,000 per speech, RadarOnline reports. In comparison, Levi rakes in $45 a speech.

In news you couldn’t see coming from a mile away … Bristol and Levi Jeans have broken up.  [single mom]