For those of you who’ve been standing by anxiously waiting for Keith to announce details about his new show, stand no longer. [RCP]

Thoughts are with those in Texas and Arkansas [tornadoes] Luntz says $10,000 that Trump won’t run [game on] Chuck Norris [copy and paste] Haynesworth indicted [sexual abuse] Palin’s parting shot [Couric]

Have you ever walked by Five Guys and asked yourself, “I wonder how much beef they go through in a week.”  Well, wonder no more… [Eater] If you were ever curious just how much peanut oil Five Guys uses for its signature fries, we can now officially tell you—it’s a …

Mac People vs. PC People [infographic] Hell yes! [Ron’s in] Facebook sick of watching Groupon make millions [deals] Sam Stein’s blood stump [picture] DC Zoo stabbing [update]

Tennessee legislators unable to conduct the people’s business until they first find out who keeps letting the dogs in the building. [via NR]

CAPS make noise [clinch] Rep. Giffords to attend husband’s shuttle launch [heart warming] Get ready to roll [Easter WH style] Lightning storm last night Jamba Juice coming to DC [thanks, Venus]

Thank you to everyone who showed up for last night’s party at Cava and a big thank you to our host committee: Anne Brady, Jessica Brady, Charles Chamberlayne, Sara Diaz, Robert Grant, Blair Milligan, Marissa Mitrovich, Lauren Torlone, Brian Walsh & Tom Williams. A special thanks to Jim Billimoria for …

Crisis communications lessons [BP, Deepwater Horizon and Social Media] We missed National High Five day [slap hands] DC police give Sheen star treatment [the high speed variety] McCain interviews the Donald [strange] DC’s top business deal restaurants [Capitol File] Thanks to everyone who came out to last night’s FamousDC Happy …

Political Holdings Limited US, Inc., an affiliated company of Biteback Media which publishes Total Politics in the UK, recently purchased Campaigns & Elections. Shane Greer, Executive Editor of Total Politics and President of Political Holdings, will serve as Publisher. Shane appears regularly on television and radio, including Sky News, BBC …

Jonathan Karl and Rick Klein recently engaged in a friendly wager: Government shutdown or no government shutdown. Jonathan Karl said there would be no shutdown; Klein thought otherwise. The bet was an autographed baseball card of Karl’s favorite Washington Nationals infielder. Karl won, but Klein thinks he won on a …

Obama, opening a town hall at Facebook HQ, in Palo Alto, Calif.: “My name is Barack Obama, and I’m the guy who got Mark [Zuckerberg] to wear a jacket and tie. (Applause.) … h/t Mike Allen

How to pitch via email [PR guide] The ole Biden blocking trains trick [dammit] Pay for parking on your phone [finally] Cupcake wars [Bethesda Row] Fargo Woodchipper [Resurrected] And don’t forget to stop by and say hello tonight at Cava.

This is proof as to why Cubs fans are the best. Opening Day: The Cubs biggest fan from WBEZ on Vimeo. h/t Sara Diaz

Huge news for two of our favorite people. Former Hill reporter turned PR flack, Jared Allen and USA Today’s Jackie Kucinich got engaged last night. Congrats to them both. Photo credit: Pepper Watkins More coverage over at FishbowlDC

Twitter [Noah Glass] I was effing born here [Sheen] Are you serious? 106mph? [on the gun] Testy [in Texas] Close call for Michelle O [flight] We’re all human [Georgetown flood] And don’t forget about the first ever FamousDC Recess Bash.  Be there tomorrow.