If this is true, it’s depressingly humorous: The newspaper industry is suffering "market failure" and the government will need to help preserve serious journalism essential to democracy, an influential US congressman said Wednesday. [what the hell is serious journalism?] It gets even more depressing… "Eventually, government is going to have …

"This isn’t ‘Nam. This is bowling. There are rules." "Sarah Palin is a great friend to the bowling industry and we’re so proud and honored to welcome her as our keynote speaker at International Bowl Expo 2010" — Bowling Proprietors Assn of America exec. dir. Steven Johnson. [Huffington Post] Bowling …

This has nothing to do with politics, but we love ice skating monkeys. [Olympic bound?] A great Christmas gift idea for lazy parents [baby mop] Sarah Henderson, daughter of Fritz Henderson, newly-resigned-GM CEO, posted a sweet series of eff bombs about Ed Whitacre, the new guy taking her dad’s place. …

It’s not the weight Huckabee was hoping to lose. [loses key staffer]

We bet you weren’t expecting to read this: ‘Jesus Christ’ excused from jury duty Court offi­cials say a Birmingham woman who changed her name to Jesus Christ didn’t live up to it when she reported for jury duty this week. [pray for her] Prayers Efforts to reach Christ for comment …

Rep. Loretta Sanchez [D- Gretzky] is known for her creative Holiday cards, but this year she’s outdone herself. With the help of a professional ballroom dancer, [or a green screen] she was able to recreate a scene from Dancing With the Stars – all the while taking a quick jab …

Google just released a list of the most searched-for members of the US Senate. Curious? Here’s the top 10 of 2009.

Add these three TV anchors to the group of people not happy that "twitter" is the word of the year.  [fail] A news station in South Carolina has a billboard that displays their latest tweets next to a picture of their anchors. What, no hashtag for that?

In case you’re looking to rub elbows and drop entirely too much money on a steak. Our favorite line: "We do anything, we’ve got senators from Hawaii that come in…" How many?

It’s ruining careers one tweet at a time, so why wouldn’t it be the "word of the year."  [take that Facebook] Rounding out the Monitor’s top five words are, in order, "Obama," "H1N1," "Stimulus" and "Vampire." D-bag came in sixth.

Great question … KLSoltis: Just got email from RNC saying I can now buy Peppermint, the GOPs commemorative stuffed elephant. (My Q: Does it come with a policy agenda?) In case you were actually wondering, the policy agenda is extra. UPDATE: Buy your Peppermint doll here.

Raise your hand if you no longer give a sh*t. [or didn’t give one in the first place.] Big new news tonight on the Salahi front, from our colleagues Michael Shear and Jason Horowitz: The horse-country socialites corresponded with a top Pentagon aide in an effort to snag an invite …

Apparently the White House is sick of picking on Fox News: The following is an excerpt from a joke e-mail that is circulating among White House staffers. It’s a response, of sorts, to the analytical essay that POLITICO editor-in-chief John Harris wrote about the "seven stories that Barack Obama doesn’t …

Bill Clinton will finally get a son: ABC News has learned that Chelsea Clinton is engaged to her longtime boyfriend Marc Mezvinsky, a spokesman for former President Clinton confirmed to ABC News. h/t Jake Tapper

We can’t quite figure out if this job posting is reactive or proactive. Original Posting: Metro Posting Title: Public Relations Officer Location: Jackson Graham – 2nd Floor If you’re looking for challenging work, this job may be for you: The incumbent is responsible for assisting with the management of activities …