Nah. We don’t see that happening. But if you want to kick it with TP and JT, your prayers have been answered! As part of a fundraising effort, you can attend Justin Timberlake’s February 24th concert at the Verizon Center with none other than Rep. Tom Price (GA). You don’t …

Sochi, Russia, where dogs roam the streets and the water is dark brown on a good day, beat all these cities to host the 2014 Winter Olympics.

The House Transportation and Infrastructure Committee figured out a way to relate basketball superstar Michael Jordan to transportation on their Facebook page (see below).

#NATIONAL  #MondayNumbers; Congrats, Seahawks!;  Facebook turns 10;  The Beatles turn 50; CVS puts out its cigarettes; We wish you all the best, Jay Leno;  Stress at Sochi — it kind of sucks; How popular is your favorite DC anchor on Twitter?; Super Bowl aftermath; Stupid baby panda falling on its stupid face; Uncle Joe Biden can’t think …

Yogurt bound for Team USA in Russia has been stalled by bureaucratic issues. You can read the whole NYT piece here, but this is the best quote out of the article, trust us: “I’d like to think that yogurt could have diplomatic immunity,” said Peter McGuinness, the chief marketing and …

BREAKING in news you never knew you wanted to know: It’s true: I’m not a #Belieber. “Senator Mark Warner offers to sign petition to deport Justin Bieber” http://t.co/KQwY6hcN1a — Mark Warner (@MarkWarner) February 4, 2014   via The Hill h/t Phillip Herndon

Rockstar energy reporter, Amy Harder, is leaving National Journal after almost six years to join the Wall Street Journal to cover energy. She will remain based in Washington, D.C. Prior to National Journal, she had stints covering legal journalism and on the cops beat at the Bellingham Herald, a local …

We know there are still folks cleaning up from Super Bowl XLVIII. These are their stories. Your OCD Roommate Not only did she block plays by constantly picking up during the game, much to the dismay of your friends, but she was up until 3am pressure washing the tile in your bathroom to …

A tipster sent in this early morning photo of Perlmutter’s door on the 4th floor of LHOB. We can’t help but wonder- how long will this poster stay?

 #NATIONAL SUPER BOWL WEEKEND; We have Super Bowl predictions; #SOTU; Guess what? Beyonce & Jay Z are perfect; #THEDISTRICT What does your DC Dog breed say about you?; DC drivers, you’re screwed; See ya later, 918 F St NW; Glover’s Jimmy John’s now open;  Get better soon, snowy owl!; Watch out for the new Brookland Pint; Hide your …

This Sunday, the MetLife Stadium will host two titans of the 2013-2014 football season, the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos. The Broncos have two NFL championships under their belts, making the Seahawks this year’s underdogs. What will happen during this drama-charged game? Who will win? Who will lose? Don’t call …

Don’t miss this adorable, delicious event from the Washington Humane Society this Wednesday, February 5th. What’s Sugar and Champagne all about? We’ll break it down for you. You’ll eat dessert, drink champagne, check out irresistible pups and help the Washington Humane Society’s cause, which basically cancels out the champagne and …

Ok, yes it was. But we want it to be real. Biden Clenches Plastic Beer Cup In Teeth To Free Hands For Clapping You’re crushing our dreams here, Onion.  

Are you watching State of the Union tonight? Sure, you and all of America. But how many can say they grabbed a beer with the folks at the National Beer Wholesalers Association at Tortilla Coast? Exactly. Get your beer and bragging rights on tonight from 6-8.

“What does it spell?”