#NATIONAL Today’s most beautiful story: a kid dressed up in a Teletubby costume, broke into his friend’s house, dumped their leftover Chinese into his man purse, and left; It’s the Giants, again; #nope fake clowns terrorizing France; Starbucks will deliver so you don’t have to walk fifty feet ; J.K. …

#NATIONAL Next time you’re too hungover to work, try these; speaking of which, your job could be worse; apparently not everyone at cigarette companies are smokers; McDonald’s can taste really good y’all; the best thing the internet has ever done; FSU is in town = hide the crab legs; “OK, …

#NATIONAL A man, a fan; Joe Biden in aviators with cash; also Joe Biden and dogs that look like Joe Biden; they’re letting just anyone into the ol’ U.N. Security Council these days; do Texas healthcare workers just want to kill everyone? jeez; this healthcare worker definitely wants to kill …

This is a really on-point piece from Politico by Helena Bottemiller Evich. Big deals over immigration reform or government spending may not be getting made on Capitol Hill, but political maneuvering can yield a free pack of Skittles for a staffer with a sugar craving. It just might cost a …

#NATIONAL Most hated college football teams in each state; Cat + smart collar = free wifi; Amazon is actually serious about drone package delivery; Peter Frampton literally takes matters into his own hands; Aesop Rock > Shakespeare; stressed? listen to a bodega cat; Hunter Pence trolling is the best and …

America’s Lawn has events [running into issues] Fort Reno concerts: off again [on again?] Metro fares go up three percent [Metro is now 3% more annoying] Pop up buildings in D.C. [may get the middle finger] D.C. is about to have a tour guide boom [requirements get easier] Kenyan musicians …

#NATIONAL The US lost their game and advance in the World Cup — perfect gif for this; 22 Jump Street = worth seeing; Huffington Post UK wins the world’s competition for clever headlines this week; #DISTRICT D.C. taxis … seriously guys?;Congressional leaders held hands and were super awkward; Democrats win …

 If you didn’t sweat through your suit jacket, it was a good day It’s been a long week; our hearts go out to Sen. Kirk’s office; The $4.95 lobbyist; DC crime, and so forth; that time Congress helped make smoking look sexy; Sorry babes (of the Bad News variety); Apparently …

It’s Father’s Day weekend so don’t forget to call Dad. If you’re not visiting, there’s plenty of BBQs for that Father’s Day feeling. You’ll also have ample opportunity to grab a brew for the World Cup. Check out what other gold weekend nuggets we found for you here.

Really. Trust us. Falling asleep in absolute silence in a federal government–owned building in my pajamas was harder than I expected. All I could do was lie still and wonder how my life brought me to this windowless office in Washington, D.C. Or worry that a stranger was going through …

The folks over at NJI Media redesigned every state flag in America at UnitedWeBrand.us, for Flag Day tomorrow. They weighed the history of the state with each state’s current flag and came up with interesting ways to represent local flavor. We’re impressed. Here are a few of our favorites: Arkansas …

After two weeks of sporadic glitches with the Washington Monument’s lone elevator, National Park Service leaders are dispelling rumors of  elevator “free falls” and reassuring employees that the machinery is safe to operate. “I have been assured by experts we have called in to diagnose why the elevator has experienced stoppages …

The title pretty much says it all, but here’s what the National Zoo says is going on: Asian small-clawed otter paws fly across the keyboard as part of their #ZooEnrichment. The otters are given the choice to play the keyboard or just sit back and enjoy the show—engaging their sight, touch, and hearing senses.

…fitness. The Washington, D.C., metropolitan area has reclaimed the top spot in an annual ranking of health and community fitness, bumping Minneapolis-St. Paul, last year’s three-peat winner, to second place. Considering the number of joggers, bikers, and hikers around it’s no surprise. Read the whole list of cities that we …

#NATIONAL Will Kanye West play only Kanye West songs at his wedding?; #SnowdenSelfie; Umm … Tennessee?; Rent or buy?; Glassholes strike again; Donkeys have BFFs; stock up on garlic oil for your usual swampy summer; Will Ferrell/RCP drum-off; Vintage drum-off h/t Mike Dankler; Pretend you’re in college again and get …