How to Go Against Norms in DC:

1) Unsubscribe from All Morning Newsletters
Why the hell are the writers of morning email distributions so obsessed with waking you up everyday at or earlier than 6 a.m.?!

2) Live Far, Far Away from a Metro Line
Who needs to wait 15 minutes on a platform suitable for 10 people with 10,000 other sweaty wonks? Not you.

Speaking of #wonks, who is sick of seeing this ad campaign in the metro? This AU alum is.

3) Drive into DC on the 395 During Rush Hour
Get somewhere on time? No thanks. I’ll roll in at 9:15 a.m. if I want to. #gridlock

4) Delete Your LinkedIn
Does it really matter if anyone knows who you work for and what you do? Are endorsements like pokes on Facebook?

5) Wear Pants During a Heat Wave (ladies…)
Two words — water weight! #foggybottom

6) Avoid Networking Happy Hours
Don’t care what Bob does. Not interested in who Mary works for. Which Senator? Quiet down. Just trying to get home after work, drink some red wine and watch Brian Williams.

7) Not Instagram Sunset Behind a Monument/the US Capitol
Because a selfie a day keeps the…

8) Buy Street Sense
Because we all know and love this guy.

9) Sign the Green Peace Clipboards
Couldn’t avoid her like the plague, so you decided to act like you care.

10) Date Someone Who Doesn’t Share Your Political Affiliation
Well, good luck with that. Hi boys.