UPDATE: Afterbirthers Demand To See Obama’s Placenta http://onion.com/aIsqbH

Unless you just woke up, you know the White House just released Obama’s birth certificate.  It looks something like this.

What you might not have known is that Donald Trump is claiming credit and consequently, is also out of campaign issues.

“Today, I’m very proud of myself, because I’ve accomplished something that nobody else has been able to accomplish,” Trump told reporters. “Why he didn’t do it when everybody else was asking for it, I don’t know. But I am really honored, frankly, to have played such a big role in hopefully, hopefully getting rid of this issue.”

What you also didn’t know is that Obama responded about the release of his birth certificate by saying, “we’re not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers.”

Finally, in case you were wondering, people on the web move fast. Real fast.  Carnivalbarkers.com is no longer available.