1. Criticize the most recent memoir written by a guy who worked in the White House.

2. Write your own memoir about working in the White House.

3. Have your memoir criticized by the next guy who writes one about his time in the White House.

4. Play "Six Degrees of Willard Scott."

5. Complain about your job. Threaten to quit your job. Talk about applying for law school. Never apply for law school.  Repeat.

6. Sit slumped over, sobbing outside the Library of Congress. When someone asks you what’s wrong, tell them, "I. Can’t. Read."

7. Play "Find Creigh Deeds" in the Creigh Deeds campaign commercials.

8. Come up with new ways to create Google news alerts for "Dan Snyder," "broke," "indicted," "Jim Zorn," "fired," "lied about coaching," "Joe Gibbs," "return."

9. Try to navigate yourself out of Cannon HOB.

10. Hire a personal assistant to fold your laundry and run your errands. [looking at you Georgetown students]