Of course you’re hoping this impending thundersnow skips the District altogether and no one misses a single day of work…of course you are.

Cut the BS. We know what you want, and what you want is a strong drink, a hot meal, and an epic snowstorm to enjoy with your friends. And let’s be real: a snow day wouldn’t suck either.

So with what could be our biggest blizzard in years just around the corner, FamousDC reminds you to be responsible, by following our Famously Snowed In Survival Guide.

First, you’ll need to stock up on the essentials: boxed wine and beer for hydration, frozen pizzas for sustenance, some Gatorades for that hangover, and Ben & Jerry’s because it’s Ben & Jerry’s.

And dare you venture out into what may just look like a scene from The Revenant (don’t worry, not that scene), FamousDC has a comprehensive list of every spot you won’t want to miss in all of your favorite neighborhoods. So just follow our guide – we’ve got you covered.

Capitol Hill | Dupont Circle | Georgetown/Glover Park

Shaw | U Street | 14th Street

Capitol Hill

Tune Inn

Our first pick because the owner literally told us, “I’ll get you drunk.”
- Opens at 8am Friday and Saturday…yes, you read that correctly.
- Expect the same ole’ dive bar vibes and prices that make the Tune Inn so special to so many impoverished Hill staffers.

Union Pub

Opens at 11:30am Friday and Saturday
- Hot toddys are $5 as soon as the first snowflakes fall…let us know how long you make it.
- Expect discounts on beer and a food menu to keep you comfortable (read: alive).

Stanton and Greene

Opens at 11:30am Friday and Saturday
- Count on drink specials all day, all weekend, and a full food menu too.

Barrel

Opens at 4pm Friday, 10:30am Saturday
- Discounted hot toddys ought to keep you warm – they’re $5 for as long as you can last.
- Harpoon Winter Warmers are a steal at $3 each.
They’re back open at 10:30am on Saturday for a bottomless brunch that’ll help you bounce back from that sledding accident on Friday night.

Dupont Circle

GBD (Golden Brown Delicious)

Opens at 11am Friday with a fully stocked bar, hot donuts, and southern fried chicken. And yes, this is a true story.
- Count on happy hour hitting as soon as the government shuts down. If not, it’ll kick off at 4:30pm.
You’re going to need some brunch on Saturday, too, so look no further.
- Bottomless orange and grapefruit mimosas and brunch punch from 10am-3pm

Hank’s Oyster Bar

Opens at 11:30am Friday, 11am Saturday
- Happy hour prices turn up as soon as the first snowflakes fall down.

Mission

Opens at 5pm Friday with a glass domed ceiling that’s perfect for watching the snow fall.
- They’ve got guac…need we say more?
- They’ve also got some serious specials:
  - $4 Tecates, $25 margarita pitchers, and $5 shots of El Jimador tequila all weekend

Georgetown/Glover Park

Town Hall

Opens at noon on Friday
- Count on happy hour prices as soon as you walk through the door, plus their delicious food to keep you on your feet.

Martin’s Tavern

Opens at 10am Friday
- This DC establishment isn’t going anywhere, nor will they be closed this weekend come rain, sleet, or snow.
- Plus we heard a rumor that they’re the last in town with Pappy Van Winkle behind the bar, and nothing warms the heart on a cold winter’s day like friendship…and bourbon.

Mason Inn

Opens at 8pm Friday, noon on Saturday
$9 Bud Light pitchers sound alright by us, and that’s not all. $5 snow cocktails and $5 snowman shots sound both mysterious and perilous. Let’s try them all.

Smith Point

Opens at a secret, undisclosed time
We’re hoping for a heated tent at the corner of Wisconsin and O St, but we may be too tipsy at this point to feel the cold anyway.

Shaw

Right Proper Brewing Company

Opens at 11:30am Friday for brunch, lunch, and beers
- This neighborhood brewery and restaurant won’t let you down. Their brunch menu is rivaled only by their burger, and their beers are top notch. Plus, they’ve got big windows perfect for watching the snowfall.

The Royal

Opens at 8am for breakfast and things get boozy starting at 11am.
Happy hour starts up as soon as the government shuts down (let’s hope that means all day). If not, count on happy hour beginning at 3pm.

Ivy and Coney

Sometimes you just want a cheap beer and a hot dog. That’s not just us, right? We’re not sure what time they open exactly, but we’re also not sure that they ever close.
- Ivey and Coney has you covered – cheap beer, cheap food, and a vibe so divey that you might miss the front door (seriously). Bonus points if you’re a Chicago or Detroit sports fan – that’s their specialty.

Chaplin’s

Chaplin is open for regular business hours Saturday and Sunday.
They’ll have happy hour deals (half off draft cocktails and beers and wine by the glass) Saturday 12-7 and Sunday 3-7.

U Street

American Ice Company

Opens at noon on Friday and Saturday
- Swachos: We’re in.
Happy hour all day ‘till 7pm Saturday and Sunday, plus playoff games on the TV’s
Spiked apple cider all weekend? Yes, please.
And don’t miss Republic Kolache’s in-bar pop up on Saturday from 10am-1pm. “What’s a kolache?” Ask your nearest Texan, and try one out at AmiCo!

Hawthorne

U Street’s latest spot to see and be seen features a (heated) glass enclosed rooftop that’ll be perfect for watching this weather.
- Enjoy $8 Hawthorne Smashes, $5 craft beer of the day, and $6 old Forester shots all weekend long

DC9

Don’t break the bank this weekend when you’ve got great dive bars featuring cheap beers and awesome food.
- DC9’s burgers can’t be beat at a price you won’t mind, and their heated and covered rooftop is a perfect place to see the snow. Head downstairs to the ground floor and you’ll find a jukebox with everything you need to throw a killer dance party.

The Brixton

Opens at 1pm Friday if we wake up to snow, and 3pm if the government does a mid-day shutdown.
Opens back up at 1pm Saturday; 11:30am Sunday for brunch on both days
- Whether for brunch or just booze, the Brixton’s heated and covered rooftop was made for a weekend like this one.

Satellite Room

The 9:30 Club’s neighbor rocks out all on its own with some killer deals this weekend to celebrate the snow.
- $15 bottomless booze from 11am-4pm on Saturday and Sunday, plus a mid-afternoon DJ spinning beats until 7pm. Yes, this is real life in DC.

14th Street

Café Saint Ex

Opens for lunch on Friday at 11am…keep an eye out for drink specials.
- This cozy corner spot at 14th and T is perfect for a libatious lunch or brunch with friends, whether it’s on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.

Bar Pilar

Opens at 5pm Friday
Right next door to Saint Ex you’ll find Bar Pilar, and this Hemingway-inspired bar won’t let you down. Expect great beers on tap, a solid dinner menu, and an even better brunch (pro tip: you want the bottomless option).

Provision No. 14

If the snow falls early on Friday, their doors will be open. If not, stop by starting at 5pm, and expect them to be open all weekend long.
Seriously good food, dangerously good cocktails: Yep, we’ll be there.

Ted’s Bulletin

Opens at 7am Friday, and things get boozy starting at 8am. Same goes for Saturday.
Yeah, we saved the best for last. Homemade pop tarts, boozy milkshakes, a “cinnamon roll the size of ya head,” and breakfast served all day long – isn’t that what life is all about?

With FamousDC as your guide and a crazy weekend ahead, just remember to be safe, have fun, drink up while it snows down, and send us your snow pics!