You might have heard the winning Powerball numbers were chosen. Well, we aren’t supposed to say anything yet but…
- I’m never taking the Metro again.
- The Circulator can go to hell.
- I will only sit front row at Nationals games – if I don’t buy the team.
- (Of course I’m buying the team)
- I will never wait in the staff line in Longworth cafeteria again.
- Car2Go can Go2Hell.
- Remember waiting in line for Zone C on Southwest? Never doing that again.
- Oh- you have a Starbucks Gold card? I bought 10 franchises.
- Uber Black- sorry, what’s that? I bought one of the President’s Cadillac limos off him.
- I’m going to buy the Redskins, change the name to the FamousDCs, take a wrecking ball to RFK and move them back into the district. Dan Snyder wont be allowed in. You like that? I love that!
- Actually I think the beltway should only have one team. Ravens- you’re coming with us.
- And then we’re going to bring Steph Curry AND Kevin Durant to the Wizards. Move over Ted. This is “our take.”
- Do you want a zip-line from the top of the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial? You can have it! We’re doing that too. The Carlyle Group ain’t the only guys in town with big monument ideas.
- Oh you want Chick-fil-A but it’s a Sunday? BOOM! Done. I just bought them out and now we’re open seven days a week.
- Hey I’d like you to meet my new personal butler, Warren Buffet.
- The Taj Mahal just became my second residence.
- Charities – yes all of you – take what you need and don’t be modest.
Oh wait… what what was that?
That was a 1 not a 7?
Oh.
Oh…
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