#THELIST Are you on our list? We’re pulling together happy hours in September and October on Capitol Hill.

#NATIONAL Yo, Russia – chill bro, you’re being totally harsh; 50 Cent vs. Floyd Mayweather update: point to Mayweather; is this the new imaginary girlfriend story of 2014?; Google’s cars can’t drive in snow, rain, or 99% of the country; more hockey more hockey; America is making Britain AWESOME; this is the first time we’ve ever said we’re glad we’re not in California right now; skyballs; the internet is here to fill up your time; we know how you feel, Archy; September is right around the corner, that means it’s time for pumpkin spice lattes but TWIST there’s no pumpkin in it; are there spiders in your gas tank?; the Emmys are taking us three years back in time; the latest in kids-who-are-smarter-than-you news; crowdfunding sucks and will fail; not only is Prince coming out with new music, he’s responsible for Outkast coming back; USA ranked, by beer; woah Katie Couric; Hello Kitty is (wait for it) NOT A CAT; sick British burn on America; Why are almost all of our best action stars eligible to receive AARP benefits?;

#DISTRICT “Oops” – the guys who painted new lines on I-66; the end of FedEx field; so long August, it’s been real; PUPS IN THE PARK; best DC conspiracy theories; watch out for this guy; who are these millennials and where do they work?; 5 weirdest DC burgers; here’s how bike thieves in DC operate; DC neighborhoods ranked by food and drink; meet Zora and Wilson; to clarify, DC taxi drivers really hate Uber; Frank Underwood will sing in DC;  DC bikers are thankful it’s not 1982; are cupcakes the best DC can do?; DC dive bar 101; is this DC inventor hero or douche? You decide; quit the reporting on kittens stuck in trees, Meet the Press; Get ready for the end of recess with coffee naps and this bucket list; #TBF is it November yet?;

#CONGRATS Tell Carly Rolfe congratulations on her new job with the Washington Nationals; Write like Ezra Dyer, boys and girls, and you can work here, too; Jonathan Martin on his A-game;

#BIRTHDAY Steve Dutton, Tom Wilbur, Angela B. Pan, and Marty Kady turned a year older; happy birthday to Aly Casey, even though she’s pissed Brad and Angelina’s wedding upstaged her day; celebrate with Jerry O’Donnell at Hammy’s tonight; Speaking of birthdays, be sure to tell Jennifer Strong and Alex Schriver happy birthday this weekend; also, Brian Johnson aka the Hungry Lobbyist will celebrate his golden birthday this Sunday at Doi Moi so tell him HBD too; and if you see Alex, give him a hug and tell him you’re sorry about Auburn’s upcoming football season.

#MEDIAMOVES @rebeccarnelson formerly of the @Washingtonian jumps to the @NationalJournal as staff correspondent, where she will cover political news of the day. Meanwhile, @jonward11 joins Yahoo! News as senior political coorespondent after 3.5 years at Huffington Post and the @washingtonpost announces a new vertical, “Get There,” focusing on making finances work (or work better) for individuals. On the Hill, Eric Cantor’s former press secretary @meganwhittemore finds a new home …just a bit further south, joining Georgia’s David Perdue team as Communications Director. And there were a few major media goodbyes this week, Diane Sawyer signs off as anchor of ABC’s World News Tonight after five years. She will be replaced by David Muir. Locally, WJLA’s Arch Campbell departs after nearly 40 years on Washington DC TV, at both WJLA and NBC4.

#BYE Enjoy the slow turn into the weekend #Emmys; we can’t decide whether or not to watch the Expendables 3 but, like many of you, we’ll be enjoying the last days of August on vacation.