Meet our new editor, Jill Abramson

#NATIONAL OMG WTF: Texting 911; All offers, sport or otherwise, should also address your pet; Kevin Spacey kills it in his Call of Duty monologue; Say happy birthday to the man who gave us Facebook even though he’s an old loser now; Nintendo Game of Thrones; we can’t stop watching this debate; Chipotle wants to make you more well-read; stop the internet, they found the perfect tweet;  Drama time: Jill Abramson out at the NYT, dons her boxing gloves; Solange…; Thanks to Micah Spangler, we really want to go to China; Did Shutterfly tell you you’re having a baby, too?; Happy Friday; Our thoughts are with everyone in San Diego;

#DISTRICT Was it raining earlier?; Was it bike to work day today?; Obama & Biden #LetsMove to Shake Shack; Vowelless restaurants take over DuPont; TICO in Logan Circle set to open next month; stop trying to make Virginia happen; Washington Monument reopens; Congrats on a great season, WizKids!; Incredible stormy shot of the Capitol; quit that unsafe driving; DC garbage bin collection mess; #tourists; T-Rex in town; Goodbye megaclubs; The NYT took “36 Hours” in DC; our coffee is blah; Here’s where to go if you feel the need to read; Vintage DC gentrification; 14 AWESOME things to do in DC this summer;A very important field-guide to DC Douchebags; Shake Shack. Union Station. June 9th; Sugar Daddy’s –> The Cakeroom; Is it Barracks Row or Capitol Riverfront?; El Chucho brunch now starts at 10am; Dino’s Grotto opens in Shaw; District Flea is officially on hiatus; The Future Is [Was???] Here; Are you in with the cool DC naming crowd?; Our picks for 50 Most Beautiful;

#CONGRATS Scott Fisher joins WTOP; Shushannah Walshe becomes ABC’s deputy political director;

#BIRTHDAY Happy birthday today to Andie Pivarunas; Happy birthday week to ‎Veronica Pecnik Wilson, Elizabeth Dillon, Rebecca Brockschmidt, Anne Marie Malecha and Louisa Imperiale; Birthday cheers for Allie Kimmel, Alex Katz & Christine Delargy;

#MEDIAMOVES thanks to Story Partners: Lots of hires D.C. media this week, but the biggest news was in departures. Jill Abramson left the New York Times, she was the iconic newspaper’s first female executive editor. Legendary journalist Barbara Walters is also stepping down after more than a half-century on air. She was the first female co-host of the TODAY Show. Meanwhile, the @WashingtonPost expands its team with Josh du Lac as editor of a new general assignment section; David Malitz and Mitch Rubin sign on as deputy feature editors. The @AP is expanding its Washington, US and international investigative teams – Ronnie Greene and @JeffHorwitz lead the new hires in the nation’s capital. Adamn Aigner-Treworgy stays as White House Producer, but jumps from CNN to CBS. His first task: updating his Twitter handle @AdamATCNN. Over on the Hill, @BrendanBuck leaves House Speaker John Boehner’s office – and likely Twitter feuds with Jay Carney behind – for a gig at America’s Health Insurance Plans and Max @Gleischman is in as new Comms Director for U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. Samantha Power. He was serving as Comms Director for Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin. @MaureenBeach departed as @AmeriBev Director of Communications to join @StoryPartners as a Senior Director.

#BYE You might spot us here this weekend; yes, we are participating in a BRA CRAWL this weekend; Feeling poor? Here are some FREE things to do in DC this weekend.

Roundup brought to you by Kelly Cohen, Story Partners and your editors.