After decoding the usual cast of characters at DC’s most (in)famous bars, we promised Sarah Parnass her very own version for DC’s press corps.

Get it while it’s hot (toddies):

Washington Post = Amazon Prime Wine of the Month Club.

The Fix = Cap Lounge (but only for nerdery).

Politico = There are bars in Arlington?

BuzzFeed = Drunk on GIFs.

Washington Examiner = American Ice Co.

National Journal = Round Robin.

The Atlantic = Pacifico.

Washingtonian = POV Lounge

Roll Call = Hammered on the Hill. Doesn’t matter which bar.

The Hill = Nips in the back pocket with the reporter’s notepad.

White House Press Corp = Wine coolers in your flak jacket.

Jay Carney = That’s not water up on that podium.

The Huffington Post = Post Pub.

Drudge = Schlitz out of a paper bag in Dupont Circle.

Christian Science Monitor = Sipping Communion wine behind the altar.

Associated Press = Old Ebbitt Grill.

Morning Joe = Mika’s been spiking his Starbucks for years. #Bailey’s

CSPAN = Hidden Flask at the National Press Club.

Fox News = Vendetta. (Formerly Red Palace).

NPR = PBRs.

Discovery = The Zoo Bar.

FamousDC = Everywhere. Always.

Photo by Emily Reed