Teddy Leaving Nationals to Spend More Time with Family

IMMEDIATE RELEASE: October 13, 2012 – Nationals Park, Washington, D.C. – Following the Washington Nationals tragic loss to the evil St. Louis Cardinals, Teddy has announced his retirement from the team.

“The race just doesn’t seem worth running anymore,” said Teddy Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States. “I need to spend more time with my family and get back to the things that really matter. Next season you can find me hanging out at my ranch in Medora, North Dakota.”

“I will mostly miss the fans, my Presidential colleagues and the Ben’s Chili Bowl that I would frequent after the the 7th inning stretch,” continued Teddy. “This is not how I planned it, but Stephen Strasburg said he would spend the second half of every season just hanging out with me, so I gotta take advantage of that.”

The Washington Nationals had no official comment on the announcement.

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FamousDC has reached out to Scott Ableman for a statement and will update this posting when received.