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Happy Movember!

Ladies, get excited! It is finally November, a month in which men across our great nation, and our very own Capitol Hill, will exert their manhood and let it grow for a good cause.

In the meantime, let’s look around the Hill and reflect on those mustachioed men (and unfortunately some women) who keep their upper lip warm year ‘round.

First off, has anyone noticed that Democrats are much more liberal stache producers? Did Republicans like Phil Gingrey and Tom Price feel the need to conserve the energy spent maintaining their lips-locks? What was it that made “Rep DeFuzzio” go back to plain old Pete Defazio?

However, the disappearing Mo is not a problem in the New York delegation. I’m inclined to believe that there was a mustache-infused poll question leading to their “strongly supporting” the stache.

Are they asking “are you more or less likely to vote for this man?


Or this man?

 

Or perhaps the stache is a handy tax shelter.  Rep Charlie Rangel denied any wrongdoing during his ethics case, but it could be that his ‘back taxes” were right under his nose the whole time.

 

Some believe the mustache is a sign of a true leader. If so, shouldn’t our House Leaders be sporting some lower-nose accoutrements?
The fire hazard that would be Speaker Boehner’s nose-neighbor would put any Capitol Policeman on edge and Nancy Pelosi may have the ability to grow one, but unfortunately for us, only the stylists at the Four Seasons would know.

 

Moving on to the upper Chamber, one would expect more hair on the upper lip. However, Senator John Hoeven from North Dakota is greedily representing the 1% with great aplomb.  Harry Reid should relax his stiff upper lip and grow his very own crumb-catcher this Movember.

Then he would understand the House Republican’s frustration with having good things stuck in annoying places.

So to all the Members with baby soft skin, remember the mustache has a higher approval rating than Congress.  Go ahead and get out there, grow your stache and raise some cash (for charity – not your reelect.)

For everyone else – this is probably the best way to display your manhood in public without getting arrested.

Other potentials:

Henry Waxman – the most ironically named mustachioed member.

When Eric Holder first grew his stache, rumor was it was fast and furious.

Now would be a great time for Rep Denny Rehberg to champion a campaign slogan like “Stache 4 Senate” or “He won’t give you no lip.”

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