With fantasy point production down across the board I’ve been able to take my two important teams (money involved = important) to 3-3 and have reinvigorated my chances of getting stomped in the playoffs. I hope you’ve been as lucky as I have been.
Here we go:
1. The quarterbacks have gone to shit and the weather hasn’t even turned cold yet! The number of quarterbacks with 20 fantasy points or more this week? That would be two (2, dos, a couple). Aaron Rogers and some guy named Josh Freeman managed that Herculean feat. So much for my “draft a quarterback in each of the first three rounds” strategy. In week one there were nine quarterbacks with more than 20 fantasy points and two with more than 30.
2. Do you know what the difference between being called a “brilliant, big running back” and a “no talent fat son-of-a-bitch” is? Ask Peyton Hillis. The Great White Nope has been so shitty this season the Browns couldn’t even trade him before the deadline. He’s got a hamstring injury and is “questionable,” which means he’s a big fat white guy who doesn’t get around too well and will be watching a football game on Sunday, not playing in one. In other words, he’s my dad.
3. Do you pick up Carson Palmer now that he’s the starter in Oakland? No. Well, unless “total fail” is a fantasy point category in your league. And in that case you need to go pick Tebow up while you’re shopping the waiver wire.
4. Fantasy Fact #1 – Only one running back has more rushing TDs than Cam Newton (6) – Adrian Peterson (7). Newton’s negative TD to INT ratio is a little bit disturbing and without the rushing TDs, he’s a really bad quarterback. This past Sunday the ran for one TD and completed passes to the defensive secondary three times. Don’t be surprised if you start hearing the talking heads saying that he can’t throw and that mobile quarterbacks will never be successful in the NFL. This happens every time – Vick, Vince Young, etc et al. A short spurt of “oh my God he didn’t fail miserably” is always followed by a trade to a team as a backup in year three.
5. I hate to talk about Vince Young since Vince Young isn’t on anyone’s fantasy team including Vince Young’s own fantasy team, but my God that was a terrible interception he threw when Vick went out of the game with a dirty helmet for one play. The Good news for the Eagles was that Sexy Rexy had thrown the almost identical interception four times in that game, so it wasn’t a “game changer” per se. If you watched that game you might have noticed that a Redskins player is the one who actually summoned the training staff to the field… kind of odd.
6. Brent “Tom” Celek made an incredible catch on Sunday. It was a falling backwards double tap catch on his back with a defender literally riding him to the ground. If a touchdown is worth six, that catch should have been worth 12. However, do not pick up Celek because if you remember last year he had one game he was targeted in and they never threw to him again. The Eagles have one motto the live by – “find out what works and stop doing it immediately.”
7. I can’t decide if God hates the Cowboys or loves Tom Brady.
8. Why does anyone kick the ball to Devin Hester? Why isn’t this guy a corner back? He obviously is much better with ball when he starts out on the other side of the line from it.
9. Fantasy Fact #2 – Two of the top five wide receivers are under four feet tall. The top five are Welker, Calvin Johnson, Mike Wallace (from 60 minutes), Steve Smith and Gregg Jennings. While Welker has racked up catches and Yards, Johnson has spent a lot of time in the endzone – nine times to be exact. That’s three better than Welker and whole five better than the guy after that. Detroit finally has a receiver!
10. Michael Turner – nice to see you, glad you could make it. You might check on Matt Ryan and see when his ass might get in gear this season.
11. I know Cooley is a friend of FamousDC, but he got popped early in the game on Sunday by some guy whose name I can’t say or spell. It was over for Cooley after that. Maybe it was a little karma coming home from his Romo comments.
12. What do you know – Buffalo came through with a loss this week. I expect to see a lot more of that from this rag-tag pack of losers. In week ten you’ll be hard pressed to remember why people were talking about the Bills in week four.
13. Remember there’s a game being played across the pond this weekend and you know how that goes – both teams usually suck. The Bears and the surprising-so-far Bucs go at it in Wembley Stadium where the British will cheer at the wrong time for the wrong things and generally make for an awkward three hours of football.
14. This week’s byes are:
Bills – they’re going to get worse so you might as well find solid replacements for Fitzpatrick and Jackson now and move on.
Bengals – A week off to commit felonies for the WKRP crew.
Patriots – Welker and Brady being gone is going to hurt some people. Super models and midget super models beware – they boys are back in town for a week of R and R. Rumor has it they’re going to be at Fenway drinking beers in the club house.
Giants – Lesser Manning rests and reflects on the fact that his brother is still a better quarterback sitting in the skybox during the game than he is on the field with ball in his hands.
Eagles – Young is on suicide watch. Whose turn is it to watch him?
49ers – Ouch on Frank Gore being out. The last three games have had him over 100 yards and with a TD in each.