What’s worse than a government run health care plan that makes you chance your insurance plan, switch doctors, wait in longer lines AND raises your taxes? One that gives you cancer. Clearly.

So you can’t possibly support the Democratic health care plan. Unless, of course, you actually want your wife to get breast cancer. And unless you were married in Massachusetts, you gotta worry about the wife.

Because according to GOP Rep. John Shadegg, you and your pretty wife are going to die of cancer if the Democrats win. Yep, within five years, too. Now, he’s not SAYING the Democrats are going to kill you… he’s just saying.

From Shadegg at Tuesday’s announcement of House GOP health care alternative:

“I would suggest that most Americans worry about one thing more than any other, the Big C: Cancer. It’s a huge issue. Before we embrace a health care reform, we ought to know the facts about cancer.”

“The five-year survival rate for prostate cancer in the United States beats Canada, it trounces Europe and it crushes England. So if you have prostate cancer, or if you are a male and might some day get it, before you let the Democrats adopt a plan that looks like Canada, Europe or England, you ought to ask how they’re going to prove that’s going to put you in a better place.”

“But let’s talk about a more serious one. Every husband in America worries about his wife getting breast cancer, and every woman in America worries about getting breast cancer. Here are the facts: Breast cancer five-year survival rate, better in the United States than Canada, significantly better than Europe, even more significantly better than England.”

“Do we really want to go to that kind of system? I think that’s a fair question to ask.”

Fair indeed, Mr. Shadegg. Fair indeed.