Facebook status abuse #1:

Craig is multitasking. I’m being Mr. Mom for Billy, booking our New York trip for the first of March, and starting to celebrate Bob Marley’s birthday.

What exactly do you mean by “starting to celebrate Bob Marley’s birthday?” If it’s what we think it is, please don’t accidentally put the bong water in the baby’s bottle.  Oh, and it’s not called being “Mr. Mom” it’s called being a father.

Facebook status abuse #2:

Jesse’s Toilett running..overflowed…LEAKING through Kitchen ceiling!

Two problems here:  1. You can’t spell worth a damn. 2. If your toilet is indeed overflowing, why in God’s name would you log onto Facebook to tell us?  How about you expel some of that energy you have by calling the plumber.

Facebook status abuse #2:

Amanda Smith is … i think my hair may need to go back to blonde real soon if i dont stop saying such stupid things! lol wow.

Amanda, that sounds like a pretty strong idea.  You might consider making that appointment for this weekend.

Join the fun.  It’s just that easy.

[contact-form 3 “Facebook Alerts”]