A very enraged reader sent our tip lines his rants from fantasy football week 1. Please enjoy:

1.  Why is FamousDC still blogging on politics when it’s clear that Al Queda has infiltrated the NFL and f’d the season for all. It’s not just injuries, it’s Grade A teams losing to 1AA teams who only have a team because the  other owners like their owner.
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2. LT’s back up goes to the dirty south and smacks 220 on the detroit kittens.
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3. Brett Favre went Brett Favre all over the Miami Tuna even though he was in a New Jersey Jets uniform.  Favre just may turn New Jersey’s guido youth onto shirts with sleeves.
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4. Frank Freaking Gore made Al Gore weep with his jet fueled runs all over AZ.  Even crazies was the fact that AZ started a quarterback who played with Bart Starr.
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5.  Again, why does Joe Flaco run like my dad?  Shouldn’t he be a little more athletic than that?
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6.  The Bears beat the Colts led by a first ballot hall of fame quarterback.  The Bears started some dude named “Kyle Orton.” Sounds like a World Warcraft Champion’s name, not an NFL quarterback’s name. Elvis Grbac thinks you are a douche.
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7.  Brady goes down because he’s from a swing state.  Yep that’s right – the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy took his Obama loving ass out before he went 6-0 going into November and swayed the Michigan independents.  Don’t believe me? Ask Bunchen.
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8. Vince Young not only out, but on suicide watch?!?!?
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9. Mr. Rodger’s looked classy in Greenbay.
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10. The Raiders should have made use of the baseball diamond on their field – they’d probably be better at that than football.
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11. And yes, Tony Romo and the Cowboys looked quite good.  Of course, this is the R-E-G-U-L-A-R S-E-A-S-O-N.
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12.  Fantasy losers like myself will not be available for the election. Forget about us voting. There is way too much shit to rethink fantasy wise this year.  When Ocho Cinco catches Uno passes in a game, there’s a problem.