The District Chatter recently came up with 5 reasons to be nice to tourists. One of our favorite tipsters took offense to this list and decided to respond to each of them.

District Chatter:

5. These people are spending money in our city. Sales tax equals cash flow. Money is money. Fix a pothole, change a light, pay my Government salary.

Brad Kanus: These tourist spend money with the people selling junk on the South Lawn.  Because these tourist NEED a shirt that says “FBI” sweatshops in Indonesia are doing quite well. Thank you for your investment. Let’s not even talk about feeding the homeless and the inevitable process of digestion finishing itself in front of the doors of my building.

District Chatter:

4. Washington, D.C. was the destination of choice for these people. They want to be here because they thought it was nice. This Nation’s Capital is every American’s city.

Brad Kanus: These people choose to travel from more than 1,000 miles away to make you late for work. Tourists come to D.C. to stand left and walk against the light. They choose tour buses as their means of blocking off every lane in the entire city at 5:00 p.m.

District Chatter:

3. You represent our city. They will share their experiences with others. So, don’t be an asshole.

Brad Kanus: Be an asshole and maybe they won’t come back. If you’re lucky they well tell their country bumpkin friends too. Only YOU can prevent a tourist from ruining our summer.

District Chatter:

2. They didn’t do anything to you. Washington, D.C. is the only city I have encountered with the whacked walk on the left, stand on the right “rule”, tourists don’t know that.

Brad Kanus: Tourist cost you time, money and the occasional chat with DC’s finest when you smack one that doesn’t understand how crosswalks work. DC is the only city sophisticated enough to develop the “Walk Left, Stand Right” rule – the envy of every other city on earth.

District Chatter:

And the number one reason to be nice to tourists…
1. Karma- What goes around comes around.

Brad Kanus: And the number one reason to be mean to tourists…
They started it. I didn’t go to their hometown and ruin their day.