Every year, as DC coasts to spring it also starts bursting at the seams with people. These people aren’t just tourists, they’re us, locals trying to enjoy the outside before it hits a scorching temperature near that of the surface of the sun. This year, we want to make your annual it’s-so-nice-I-should-run jog around the mall or museum-with-mom trek a little more fun.
Directions: Print this glorious list, grab a pencil and get people watching on the National Mall.
Springtime People Watching Scavenger Hunt
General Winfield Scott is already on the lookout. Photo credit to Josh Bassett.
Jean shorts 10pts.
Jean short eagle/ lone wolf combo 20pts
Any article of clothing that was once an American flag 10pts
Amateur cameraman (tripod and camera bag required) 5pts
People trying to map the Louisiana purchase using a threefold National Mall map 5pts
Anyone who asks you anything because “you looked friendly” 10 pts
Annoyed DC local most likely wearing a suit walking back to work from lunch 2pts
A Boy Scout troop dressing in formal scouting attire 10pts
A Code Pink protest, either Guantanamo or drone based. Take your pick 15pts
A Member of Congress 50pts
A group of kids wearing matching shirts so that their lazy chaperones won’t lose them 15pts
Young punk kid dressed like a west coast rapper accompanied by his or her adorable Midwestern mom and dad, Hank and Peggy Hill-esque 15pts
15 people under the age of 15 with I <3 DC gear on 10pts
5 people over thirty with the same gear on 20pts
An annoyed boyfriend who has been forced by his adorable girlfriend to take 600 pictures in front of the cherry blossoms 15pts.
Double points if the girlfriend is over caffeinated and holding a Starbucks cup.
Hipsters with their parents; both parties look unhappy 10pts
Angry teen girl at the peak of her rebellious stage 5pts
Bonus points if she is aggressively texting. 10pts
10 people that have no idea where they are or how they got there 10pts
Drunk good looking DC residents on their way back from happy hour 10pts
Southern sorority girl in one of two outfits:
Sun dress 5pts
Tights, t shirt and uggs 10pts
A social sports league, most likely kick ball, but softball is also a possibility 10pts
Over-forty male or female wearing roller blades, dressed in full pads 20pts
A retired motorcycle gang wearing full leathers 10pts
Extra points if one of their old ladies is on the back 15pts
Double extra points if her rear end is hanging out 30pts
And a lifetime of therapy if she is wearing something tiny from Victoria’s Secret.
Some old men fishing in the tidal basin 15pts
A gaggle of Segway scooters with their trusty tour guide, wearing a plain polo shirt and Dockers shorts 15pts
3 DC rickshaws piloted by especially dirty hippies 15pts
Ten people speaking indecipherable languages 20pts
Distracted mom being dragged around by leash baby 5pts
Three people on the steps of the Air and Space Museum Googling directions to the Air and Space Museum 10pts
A free yoga class downward-dogging their way through happy hour 15pts
Weekend warrior father with aggressive farmers tan and blistering from a seven hour walk around Arlington National Cemetery on day one of family vacation 20pts
Pepco work crew tearing up the street to repair something they also most likely broke 20pts
Old charter bus driver smoking a cigarette while standing outside of his parked bus 25pts
Five shirtless people who have no business being shirtless 10pts
Sporty looking couple jogging in place at a stop light 5pts
Bonus points if they are both wearing LuluLemon 10pts
If you’re out there near the monuments, doing the things you do (above), send your photo evidence to [email protected] and we’ll publish our favorites here. Any usual DC folks missing from this list? [email protected].