With the sale of the Jim Beam drinks group to a Japanese company, Smithfield Ham to a Chinese company and Anheuser-Busch sold to a Belgian company in the last few years, we thought of a few more companies and other things in the USA that would probably be managed better in a different country.

Baseball

Who has time to sit through a ballgame anyway?

Freedom

We’ve clearly messed this up. Case in point: The NSA.

Apple Pie

It could probably use more chili powder.

Bald Eagles

We almost killed them off once. This also tastes like freedom.

Ford

Their cars probably aren’t really made in America anyway.

Walmart

Have you visited that old People of Walmart blog? Well, exactly.

Coca-Cola

It’s only a matter of time before it’s banned.

Bank of America

Fees, long phone calls, bad mortgages – more like Bank of Terribleville. BoA has GTG.

Soccer

Take it back. Seriously. No fights, or crashes, and strange rules.

Yoga Pants

 We’re too fat to wear them right anyway.

The DMV

We assume this is what Russia is like all the time. They can take this one.

Sriracha

We don’t deserve to make this here. Of course we will find a way to complain about anything, even if it is delicious orgasm-sauce.

NASA

Are we even trying anymore? Is NASA even still funded? We haven’t even been back to the moon in years, and it keeps calling, and now we’re going to Mars, and it’s just real awkward in here.

Note: We hope you’ll join us at the Museum of America’s inaugural opening January 2nd, 2023 in Havana, Cuba.