John Boehner and Tiger Woods Golfing Together

Only in America:

The Republican Leader of the US House golfs with Tiger Woods
Jessica Simpson sings the National Anthem
DC fans boo Tony Romo

DC Sports Blog: Redskins, Tiger Woods and Jessica Simpson

[Boehner, by the way, swings right-handed but putts left-handed, with his body facing the hole. It's bizarre.]

Some wise soul managed to write "Go Redskins" in Romo’s yardage book, which was one of the better moments of the day. The best, though, was the guy in the Art Monk hat standing directly behind Romo on the 7th tee. "Hit it like it’s December," the guy said. That guy deserves an award. So does the guy following them around for nine holes wearing the "Dallas Sucks" t-shirt.

More pics, here.

h/t to the tipster that sent over the photo

Are the Detroit Lions Better Than the Redskins?

Jarrett thinks so.

Stet Sports Blog: Five Reasons Why the Detroit Lions Are in Better Shape Than the Washington NFL Franchise

5. Threshold of Expectations

4. Happy People

3. The Hunger for More

2. The Washington Post Lives

1. Tailgating is welcomed at Ford Field

Transgender Opponents With $5 In Their Campaign Coffers Don’t Make Roy Blunt Nervous

It looks like Roy Blunt might have himself a pretty formidable opponent in his bid to capture a Missouri Senate seat.

Transgender political activist Midge Potts says she’ll attempt to run for U.S. Senate under the Progressive Party banner.

Potts, who ran against Roy Blunt in the GOP 7th District primary in 2006, says she’ll make an official announcement Thursday. The Progressive Party currently doesn’t have ballot status, so she’ll need 10,000 verified signatures.  [over/under on this not happening?]

Issues that will play an integral part of Midge’s platform include: [but are certainly not limited to]

1. Withdrawing all US troops from the Middle East [creative]
2. Balancing the federal budget [easy]
3. Abolishing the IRS [realistic]
4. Making it legal for American farmers to grow hemp and marijuana [game changer]

When asked how much money she had in her campaign bank account, her response, "five dollars." [brutally honest]

Pots is set to kick off her campaign at the Magic Bean Coffee House in Springfield, MO.

Watch the video here .  [worth it]

Now That Healthcare Is All Fixed …

… We can finally move on to matters that are important to … well, nobody. [priorities]

Former Major League slugger Sammy Sosa’s well-publicized March 2005 denial of performance-enhancing drug use will be looked into by a congressional committee , according to The Associated Press.

Next up: Launching a congrssional oversight committee tasked with figuring out whether or not deiters who were drawn to Slim Fast via Tommy Lasorda are eligible for a refund.

Democrats Win: Score Runs Faster Than They Spend Your Tax Dollars

The losing streak is over.

For the first time in eight years, Democratic lawmakers were able to defeat Republicans in the annual Roll Call Congressional Baseball game.  [pounding]

Final score: 15-10

Highlights included, but were not limited to:

Thad McCotter sprinting to first - only to get taken out for a pinch runner and CPR.

Heath Shuler proving he’s terrible at sports.

Bart Stupak channeling his inner Jeter and catching a foul pop as he tumbled over the dugout railing in the fourth inning.

Jeff Flake hitting a triple, but only after the Democrats tried to insert an earmark into the pitch. [making it inevitable that he was bound to hammer it.]

Adam Putnam proving he was like a motion to recommit - you can put him up … But it’s unlikely to go anywhere.

For more color commentary, visit us on Twitter to see how it went down last night.

48th Annual Roll Call Congressional Baseball Game

Republicans vs. Democrats

Members of Congress playing baseball

Staffers drinking on a school night

Yep, this sounds like a great opportunity for live Twitter updates.

A few FamousDC editors are sending real time updates from the baseball game.

You can check it out here: www.twitter.com/FamousDC

Off the Mountain: JC Watts

Erik Brady:‘The American way’: Sports hire lobbyists for Capitol Hill clout

"That is what it is," Watts says. "I don’t think you’ll find any government affairs shop that believes they’re overpaid."

Tomorrow’s Headline: Democrats Lose Again

The Roll Call Congressional baseball game is tonight, which only means one thing — attendance at Nat’s stadium is set to double.

The Congressional Baseball Game — the 48th annual Roll Call game is set to be played tonight at Nationals Park — was born in 1909 with Rep. John Tener (R-Pa.), an immigrant from Ireland. Tener was a hurler for the Chicago White Stockings in the late 1880s. Refusing to bid his baseball days farewell even after he entered Congress, he organized a pickup game between the Democrats and the Republicans at American League Park, then located at the corner of Florida Avenue and Trinidad Avenue Northeast.  [prune league]

Also inevitable:  Nancy Pelosi will show up in the 2nd inning, make her way to the dugout area, start some bizarre chant about wanting another "first down," sign a few autographs and then leave well before the game is over.

Dear President Obama: We Want These Five

Why are we buying companies losing money by the minute?

We want these.

Diatribes by Joah

President Obama: 5 Companies US Taxpayers Would Like to Own

President Obama,

We wanted to write you and see if you would consider buying into some American companies that we think would be sounder investments than General Motors, AIG and some of the other companies you’ve been using our money for. Thank you, in advance, for your consideration.

Nike

Pros - They’re based in Oregon, so you and Michelle can see your brother coach basketball games at Oregon State. You could have an endless supply of shoes to play basketball in and could probably play one-on-one with MJ, Kobe and Lebron. They make the coolest commercials so you could probably figure out a way to get some awesome campaign ads made for 2012. You’d have even more leverage over the Chinese government since you’d be employing thousands of their citizens.

Cons - They have run into some labor issues and you’d have to get the unions to support it. Oregon is already a blue state so you wouldn’t pick up any votes.

Apple

Pros - You could make a deal that gives all public schools Mac computers which would help close the digital divide. You would never have to think up gift ideas for Malia and Sasha. Your campaign team could come up with a cool product called the iBama that basically kept your voters plugged into you at all times, which would certainly raise an insane amount of campaign money for you.

Cons - You’d be on Bill Gates’ bad side. AT&T doesn’t provide service on the DC Metro. Steve Jobs’ health is a concern.

Google

Pros - They could make sure only good things about you come up in searches. They could make sure only bad things come up in searches about your opponents. You could monitor the entire Internet for terrorism-related activity, legally. You could make your campaign site the official home page of Google so people would be doing a search from BarackObama.com with a picture of you and your family in the background.

Cons - Google may be evil. Google could see to the end of newspapers, which wouldn’t be good for Democratic candidates since they need the endorsements.

Tiger Woods

Pros - He isn’t a company, but he makes money like one and has high brand awareness. Lebron wants to be the first billionaire athlete, but Tiger will beat him. He’s multi-racial so you guys can connect on that. You could bring him with you for major foreign policy trips and he could give golf tips in exchange for national security tips (i.e. Tiger will show you how to save par here if you tell us exactly where Osama bin Laden is hiding?) Malia and Sasha could babysit his kids in a few years.

Cons - He’s very busy and at least four weekends of the year, you’d have zero access to him. His wife was a nanny/model and your wife is a former university administrator so they may not get along well. Augusta National, where the Masters is played in Georgia, isn’t exactly the best place for a Black family to visit.

Whole Foods

Pros - You could do even more to encourage healthy living in the US. You could raise organic food standards through legislation so that only stores like Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s could survive. Michelle would be impressed with your cooking even though it’s really pre-cooked. They’re based in Austin, so you could visit a lot and possibly turn Texas into a blue state.

Cons - Most Americans can’t afford the food here on a regular basis. Like Nike, you probably wouldn’t pick up any votes by doing this since their customers and employees are already liberal.

I know there are some other companies that would be sound investments, but these are the five that we think a) we could get more than 50 percent of us to agree on, b) doesn’t hurt you significantly in the ‘12 election (unlike GM) and c) would actually do something to help the economy.

Respectfully,

American taxpayers

Which is Tougher?

Running an NFL franchise or managing an amusement park?

DCist: File Under Duh: Six Flags is Bankrupt

It’s reported that Snyder and his Redskins buddies who went in on the company lost over $130 million on their initial investment.

Washington Nationals Look To Catch Fire. Succeed.

In a recent attempt to entertain 30 or so fans, the Washington Nationals rewarded ticket holders to a fireworks display.  The only problem, the show was cut short when some of the debris landed on top of the fire chief’s head. [unbelievable]

According to a sources, Vince Coleman was not in charge of the fireworks demonstration.

Famous Friday [Round-Up]

Chris Bowlin is setting up shop in the Senate, Playboy stepped in it with their hate f*** list (big time), Jennifer Crider is now part-time political director and part time hedge-clipper, Jordan Stoick is now a daddy, La Loma had a huge tree fall in front of the restaurant — and the margaritas kept flowing, JoMa took over the reins of Playbook from Mike Allen this week, Andrew Noyes posted one of Andrew Feinberg’s K Street pictures, Costa Rica crushed the US soccer team, Robert Schlesinger and his wife had a boy, Emmet, Vaughn Ververs and Danielle Jones reunited, the Dugger family, of TLC fame, visited the Hill, an intern for a NJ DEMOCRAT failed at discretion, Harry Reid ruined everyone’s July, Texan Matt Mackowiak was quoted in Politico, but forgot Senator Cornyn is a fellow Texan, Reagan’s son opted to appear with Palin instead of his dad’s statue, we wonder if David Axlerod is still enjoying his government sponsored door-to-door car service and the College Republicans stepped up security for Pawlenty’s speech.

$25 Billion for Your Thoughts?

Here’s something to think about on this Tuesday afternoon:

Deadspin : David Ortiz Is Still Worth More Than General Motors

RELATED : Bill Simmons: When great ones go, it might hurt us more than it does them.

Presidents Race: Let Teddy Win

Let Teddy Win

This helpful site gives Nats fans game-by-game updates on the Washington Nationals favorite event: the Presidents Race.

Helpful links:

Presidents Race Standings

Presidents Race Facts

Presidents Race Videos

Let’s be honest, if it wasn’t for the Presidents Race, pedi cabs and the Red Loft — would you go to Nats games?

If You Haven’t Already, Put Your Dog On A Short Leash

Michael Vick was released from prison early this morning.  [woof]

In News That You’ll Have a Hard Time Believing

The Nats lost again.

According to reports, Major League Baseball is seriously considering the idea of blindfolding opposing teams in an attempt to level the playing field for the Nationals.

As for the season ticket holders who spent thousands of dollars to enjoy such an exciting season - come on, what did you expect?

A Heartbeat Away: Joe Biden Poops the Nest, Again.

Even Crazy Uncle Joe can’t be this dumb, right?  [get out the duct tape?]

Vice President Joe Biden, well-known for his verbal gaffes, may have finally outdone himself, divulging potentially classified information meant to save the life of a sitting vice president.

We’re all fans of transparency, but revealing the location of your secret fort - come on Joe.

According to a report, while recently attending the Gridiron Club dinner in Washington, an annual event where powerful politicians and media elite get a chance to cozy up to one another, Biden told his dinnermates about the existence of a secret bunker under the old U.S. Naval Observatory, which is now the home of the vice president.

Because of this latest gaffe, Biden’s security clearance has now been lowered to Crayola.

Famous Friday [Round Up]

Brian Rogers changed teams, Wanda Sykes threw fuel on the fire, Richard Hunt felt the heat of a few background quotes on his way over to CBA, Megan McArdle and Marc Ambinder were both promoted at The Atlantic, The Fix gave a shout-out to Barack Obama’s Teleprompter, Ben and Beth Pershing welcomed Simon Henry into this world, Andrew Noyes was outsmarted by his A/C control panel, Chris Paulitz heads over to NAVA, Elmendorf scooped up Jimm Ryan, John Boehner crushed Fox News’ Man in Black: Chad Pergram, Robert Gibbs hates cell phone ringing when he’s talking, and Jay Perron is celebrating his birthday tonight at Benihana.

Famous Friday [Round-up]

Ramesh Ponnuru was almost named to the Macon, Georgia City Council, Alex Ovechkin continued his campaign for DC Sports Savior, Obama supporter Colin Powell offered advice to the GOP via Chris Strohm, Mike Madden complained he’s never been called for DC jury duty, Kara Rowland invited Members of Congress to the White House Correspondents’ Dinner reception for The Washington Times - but didn’t get invited herself by her employer, Patrick Gavin’s "standing" video made the front page of MSNBC, David Rehr said goodbye to the NAB, John Scofield and Taylor Llewellyn celebrated birthdays, David Drucker covered the Young Guns rivalry of Cornyn and Ensign, Waxman ran into a global warming wall, Matt Dornic admited his affinity for Hootie and the Blowfish, Erin McPike got to the know the WH Correspondents 40 & Under for Capitol File, Jess Boulanger gave birth to a baby boy, Gail Gitcho was named RNC Press Secretary, and be sure to tell Brian Walsh happy birthday on Monday.

Banny Ramirez: Hair Tests Positive For Performance Enhancers

Major League Baseball announced today that Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Manny Ramirez has been suspended for 50 games for violating its drug policy.  [atta boy]

*Note: This news does not affect the Washington Nationals.  They will still end up in last place.

Who Says Congress Isn’t Fun?

Having solved all other problems, Congress has now turned its attention to the two most important issues facing America today: online poker and college football.

Frank Set To Introduce Web Gambling Bill

Jon Stewart checks how Congress is dealing with the nation’s high-priority issues, such as the BCS

We’re actually torn as to which one of these is more important.  [lean Party Poker]

FamousDC Bar Tricks

In honor of LeBron James winning the NBA MVP [and because rooting for the Wizards drives us to drink], we would like to encourage FDC readers to celebrate by going to the bar this weekend [Cap Lounge] and having a drink that is growing in popularity, that you may not have heard about.

The ‘LeBomb James’ requires a shot of Crown Royal (for King James), some Red Bull and three packs of Splenda. Drop the shot of Crown in the Red Bull, chug it, dump Splenda in your hands, and ‘baby powder throw’ it into the air like LBJ. It’s an instant hit with the bar patrons." [SI]

If you’d like to partake in the "Washington Wizards" Bar trick details are below:

Order a cheap beer.  Pour it over your head.  Have your buddy kick you in the crotch.  Repeat until you get booed and tossed out of the bar.

Holy Sheet of Ice

Alexander Ovechkin could be Mayor of DC by this time next week if he keeps this up. [C-A-P-S]

Washington, BCS

Having solved all other crisises facing America… [swamp bowl]

The House Subcommittee on Commerce, Trade, and Consumer Protection held a hearing to dissect the Bowl Championship Series, asking whether the model needs to be tweaked, overhauled or done away with altogether.

While some lawmakers are passionate about legislation that is a little more timely, some are taking their frustrations out on the college football playoff system.

Rep. Joe Barton, R-Texas, called the Bowl Championship Series format unfair and perhaps took it one step further. "You should either change your name to BES for Bowl Exhibition System or just drop the C and call it the BS system, because it is not about determining the championship on the field."

Next up: Passing legislation that would allow professional golfers to wear shorts.

CNN Politics (Larry Lazo): BCS vs. playoff debate comes to Capitol Hill

Inside the Inbox of Janet Napolitano

If you’ve ever wondered [unlikely] what a day in the life of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano was like, wonder no more.

Below is an exclusive first glance at her Gmail inbox.

Click here to enlarge

UPDATE: Chris Cooley is NOT Gay for Varly

UPDATE: We didn’t get enough sleep last night.   The hilarious comment about Varly was actually made by Cooley’s brother Tanner.  Thank you Tanner for pointing that out.  Our apologies.

…..

It seems Captain Chaos may have gotten a little carried away after the Washington Capitals knocked off the New York Rangers in Game 7 last night.

Chris Tanner Cooley:  Tell Me Something Wednesday: Rock the Red

As far as the game goes, all I have to say is I am gay for Varly. The guy is ridiculous. He owned the first 40 minutes of the game giving the team the chance to finally come to life in the 3rd.

Gotta Love Football Analogies…

David Plouffe and Steve Schmidt recently spoke at the University of Delaware.  Schmidt, who was McCain’s campaign manager, said this about his team’s chances:  [we're quite sure his donors will love hearing this... ]

[It was] “the strategic equivalent of throwing a football through a tire at 50 yards.”

Plouffe agreed with – though he said he hadn’t seen it that way at the time.

…
Maybe McCain should have drafted this guy:

….

At Least We’d Get a Stanley Cup Final

From the only news source we pay any attention to: [the Onion]

NEW YORK —Addressing reporters yesterday in an unnervingly calm tone of voice, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman—his hands, face, and white-collared shirt covered in blood—said that any obstacle standing in the way of both Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin playing in the Stanley Cup Final has been "taken care of.

Washington “Natinals” Hooked On Phonics

When you’re as bad as the Washington Nationals, you try to cut corners wherever you can.  By leaving out the "O" on their jerseys, the team saved nearly $12 per jersey. [genius]

Our advice to the worst team in baseball: You may also think about eliminating the "A, T, N, A" and the "S" - which would spell "Nil."  Not only would you save more money, but it in the spirit of transparency, it would be nice to give fans an honest glimpse of your chances at winning a Pennant.

h/t faniq.com

Famous Friday [Wrap Up]

Nora McAlvanah waited until the last minute to hang at H&R Block with her taxes in hand, Doug Heye turned 27, Elliot asked all of DC to "Rock the ‘Hawk" for the Caps, still lots of out of office replies on the hill [recess], $20 says Karl Rove didn’t say the line: "Famous Jason Roe," there is still a staff staph scare at the House gym, some of you are likely still hungover from the Young and the Guest List party last night, staff of The Hill past and present said adieu to gossip maven Betsy Rothstein, Kerri Strug got a gold medal for speed typing on her blackberry Thursday am on the Metro, Sara Bonjean won the Swizzle challenge with her Scarlett O’Hara knowledge, the real cougars housewives of the ATL were caught hanging out at the Capitol Grille bar on Wednesday night, John Hawkins cleaned out his Twitter account, Ross Douthat said goodbye to the Watergate, and go tell Ryan Loskarn and Lindsey Mask happy birthday.

And That’s Why Band-aids Taste Salty…

AP: NBC broadcaster John Madden retires [turkey leg]

We’ll see you around Madden. Thanks for the laughs — and for ruining Shaun Alexander’s career (and our fantasy football season) by putting him on the front of your game.

Welcome to Washington

Where the politics are always heated and we take our football damn serious. [Man Removes Car Flag, Gets Clocked By Motorist]

Chris Cooley in “The Cooley Zone”

"The Cooley Zone" is a new web series coming soon starring our favorite Washington Redskin, Chris Cooooooooley . This reality series will take an unfiltered look into the world of Chris Cooley, as he balances the physical and emotional stresses of professional football along with a new marriage and an insatiable desire to have fun at any expense.  [well worth the watch]

In Case You Missed It: The Washington Capitals Don’t Suck

The Washington Capitals , who straight dominate the Tampa Bay Lightning, will try to clinch the Eastern Conference’s second seed in a match up tonight. [C-A-P-S]

The Capitals own a four-point lead over third-seeded New Jersey with two games left to play. For non-hockey people that means:  Even if they shoot themselves in the crotch tonight, it’s still likely that they will clinch the number two spot.

As for DC’s other sports teams.  Suck and suck even worse.

Thank You

You could’ve been anywhere in the world, but you’re here with me. I appreciate that. - Jay Z

We wanted to take a quick minute and thank you for reading FamousDC. We’re having a blast with this beltway madness and we couldn’t do it without you.

Seriously.

Your tips, your emails, your suggestions, your funny videos, and your links keep FamousDC running.

If you’re not actively sending tips in, go on, join in the fun.

Give it a try .

Don’t worry, we always keep everything anonymous. Send us your rants, raves, tips, sports videos, insider political information, or any beltway talking points that are driving the conversation on Capitol Hill.

So come on back again tomorrow - and tell a friend ! FamousDC is scientifically proven: 99% of our referrals laugh during their first visit. 60% of the time - they laugh every time .

Tell a friend:

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Famous Friday [Round Up]

Mike Madden told everyone he drove a Plymouth Voyager minivan in high school, Christina Bellatoni scooped Mike Allen on Robert Gibbs birthday, Andrew Noyes and Mark Cuban wondered if Tweets are copyrighted, we totally fell for GMail auto-pilot, O.A.R. announced they’ll spend Friday, August 7th at Merriweather, Brian Devine still hasn’t read the Ethics and Standards tab, Brody Mullins and Louise Radnofsky exposed Hill bonuses, Michael Moore spent some time in DC and finally got what he wanted: GM heads rolled, we still hate the new Facebook, Michelle Obama dunked on the Queen, Andy Roth slammed the budget on Fox Business channel, Joe Pounder went after Glenn Thrush and called on TPM’s Brian Beutler for back-up, Sweetgreen opened in Dupont this week, Erika Masonhall & Garrett Marquis are celebrating their birthdays at Bourbon tonight, Chelsea Brown and Katie Comer are partying at Top of the Hill, and Tierney Plumb broke the sad news about the DC Snuggie Pub Crawl being canceled.

Did Vinny and Danny Boy Botch the Cutler Trade?

Has Dan Snyder’s pursuit of Cutler damaged the 2009 season if things don’t go well?  [mental giants]

h/t patrick ottenhoff

White House March Madness

Even though the Final Four will be hosted in Detroit, Obama needed to take his frustrations out on someone after realizing he had only one team left in his Final Four bracket.

WaPo: GM CEO to Step Down at White House’s Request

“Dude, The Guy Just Made You His Companion”

MSNBC clowns Ed Henry.

Congress Has a Touchdown Jesus Complex

Unemployment is sky-high, our economy is up to its knees in sewage and houses are foreclosing more often than Michelle changes outfits – and this is what the Senate deems important enough to spend time on? [priorities ]

Everyone from President Obama to real fans have criticized how college football determines its top team. Now senators are getting off the sidelines to examine antitrust issues involving the Bowl Champion Series.

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