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If you’re anything like the rest of the world, you’ve always wondered two things:

1) Why do chimps throw poop?
2) And why won’t the government subsidize a study to find out the answer?

Guess what? You’re in luck.

Seriously, the government is going to use your money to figure out why chimps throw poop.

Never mind the $15 trillion national debt; the government blew $592,000 on a study last year to figure out why chimpanzees throw poop.

The government is also spending money trying to figure out if unhappy people spend more time on social networks [answer = yes] and thousands of dollars on a cowboy poetry celebration. [yee-haw]

See for yourself.

If you’re like us and have been wondering where Obama Girl has been, wonder no more. Patrick Gavin has you covered.

For Amber Lee Ettinger, the 29-year-old New Yorker who rose to fame as the Obama Girl in 2008 when her YouTube videos supporting Sen. Barack Obama’s presidential campaign became viral sensations, it’s been a soul-searching time these past few years. After Obama won in 2008, the question for Ettinger was whether to bring back in 2012 a character that had earned her notable fame four years ago, or whether she was better off pursuing her true interests in fashion and entertainment (Ettinger has since moved to California).

Read the rest on Politico.