Famous Five [Reasons to Be Mean to DC Tourists]

 

The District Chatter recently came up with 5 reasons to be nice to tourists. One of our favorite tipsters took offense to this list and decided to respond to each of them.

District Chatter:

5. These people are spending money in our city. Sales tax equals cash flow. Money is money. Fix a pothole, change a light, pay my Government salary.

Brad Kanus: These tourist spend money with the people selling junk on the South Lawn.  Because these tourist NEED a shirt that says “FBI” sweatshops in Indonesia are doing quite well. Thank you for your investment. Let’s not even talk about feeding the homeless and the inevitable process of digestion finishing itself in front of the doors of my building.

District Chatter:

4. Washington, D.C. was the destination of choice for these people. They want to be here because they thought it was nice. This Nation’s Capital is every American’s city.

Brad Kanus: These people choose to travel from more than 1,000 miles away to make you late for work. Tourists come to D.C. to stand left and walk against the light. They choose tour buses as their means of blocking off every lane in the entire city at 5:00 p.m.

District Chatter:

3. You represent our city. They will share their experiences with others. So, don’t be an asshole.

Brad Kanus: Be an asshole and maybe they won’t come back. If you’re lucky they well tell their country bumpkin friends too. Only YOU can prevent a tourist from ruining our summer.

District Chatter:

2. They didn’t do anything to you. Washington, D.C. is the only city I have encountered with the whacked walk on the left, stand on the right “rule”, tourists don’t know that.

Brad Kanus: Tourist cost you time, money and the occasional chat with DC’s finest when you smack one that doesn’t understand how crosswalks work. DC is the only city sophisticated enough to develop the “Walk Left, Stand Right” rule - the envy of every other city on earth.

District Chatter:

And the number one reason to be nice to tourists…
1. Karma- What goes around comes around.

Brad Kanus: And the number one reason to be mean to tourists…
They started it. I didn’t go to their hometown and ruin their day.

What a Sweet Pain In the Gas

On Monday morning, Capitol Hill resident Chris Frates got into his car only to discover he had been robbed - of gas.

What makes this mildly entertaining, Frates is a reporter for the Politico.

Patrick Gavin thinks it’s “further proof that normal, everyday people hate reporters.”

We tend to agree.

h/t FishbowlDC

Famous Five [Beach Reads]

No trip to Dewey is complete without a carton of smokes, bottle of booze, SPF 15 and a good book for the beach.

Before you head out for the sun and surf this year, be sure to grab one of these books for your trip.

Thank You for Smoking
Christopher Buckley

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em. An inside look at one of Washington’s most sexy industries, Big Tobacco.

Words That Work: It’s Not What You Say, It’s What People Hear
Frank Luntz

Granted, he’s a bit socially awkward, but he knows how to assess any political environment.

Crashing the Gate: Netroots, Grassroots, and the Rise of People-Powered Politics
Jerome Armstrong and Markos Moulitsas

These two guys wrote the book in their 20’s and we’re still in the infant stage of wired politics. Plus, you get tons of street cred if you drop at a DC dinner party that you’ve read this.

Charlie Wilson’s War
George Crile

Congress, cocaine, strippers, jihads, lobbyists, and war. What else do you need?

The Thumpin’: How Rahm Emanuel and the Democrats Learned to be Ruthless and Ended the Republican Revolution
Naftali Bendavid

R or D, you should read this book. The pendulum was swinging back and Rahm was at the wheel. But, does he take too much credit or is this the first wave?

Famous Five [DC blogs]

Below is a list of five DC blogs you should check out, if you haven’t already.

DCist
Think Washington is boring? Well, don’t tell that to Somer Mathis of DCist- one of the area’s favorite blogs. DCist keeps your cultural appetite whetted with the local art and music scene, all while promoting other local blogs. Their photo of the day usually goes very well with your morning coffee.

Chris Cooley
The best tight end in the NFL plays for the Washington Redskins, married a cheerleader, hits beer bongs with DC 101’s Eliot in the Morning, and hangs out with Dale Earnhardt Jr. in the offseason. Damn. Thank goodness for us he has a blog to keep us up to speed on all of his self-made tattoos and off the field escapades. Captain Chaos has two cats and a dog named Dale Earnhardt.

Why I Hate DC
If you’re a DC local, or someone who has visited DC or even someone just looking for a good laugh - go here. Any site with this mission statment has got to be well-worth the read: “To mercilessly mock anything related to life in the Washington metro area, using as much profanity and sarcasm as possible.”

FishbowlDC
Written by the Washington Examiner’s Patrick Gavin, FishbowlDC covers everything media-related in the nation’s capital. FishbowlDC scoops most all newsrooms before the editors know what hit them. They keep a running tally of all of the DC reporter moves on The Revolving Door and their hottest media types contest drives Washington conversation for weeks. Spend five minutes scanning Patrick’s morning reading list to be up to speed before your first meeting of the day.

Gilbert Arenas
Washington Wizards’ superstar Gilbert Arenas lets it all hang out on his blog and we love him for it. He talks about his recent dating adventures, takes shots at opponents, and usually makes news whenever he writes. Who would have ever thought this NBA superstar would be into Rock Band and blogging? Stay in DC Agent Zero!

*As always, if you have suggestions, don’t be shy - email us at tips AT famousdc DOT COM

Famous Five [twitterific version]

This week we are highlighting the 5 Most Ridiculous Twitter Updates.

In case you have a life and don’t know what Twitter is - it’s a microblog for nerds who can’t get enough blogging in on a daily basis.  It’s utterly useless, but entertaining for us.

[*note, names have been left off as not to embarrass anyone]

5. Watching ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’ with the wife. [Put down the twitter machine and touch your wife Twitter boy]

4. Margaritas, burritos, and Becca @ Alero in Dupont. [Dude, you’re on a date… what the hell is wrong with you?]

3. Just spotted a robin and walked home sans coat — spring has sprung! [Thanks, let us know when you put your jacket back on and spot a tiger.]

2. My right eye is bleeding again. It’s a little like going through life with a lava lamp strapped in front of your eye. [Suggestion, step away from the computer and go to the hospital you moron]

1. Hey babydoll, no fair calling me a dope when I’m on “stage” doing a webinar and can’t defend myself! [Okay, you’re off stage - so is it fair to call you a dork now?]

Famous Five [DC Brunch]

The 5 Best Places for Brunch in D.C.

Tabard Inn (downtown)

This place feels like home. Once you walk in you’ll never believe you’re in the middle of the city. It is warm, cozy, and the food is great. The service is fast and courteous - but this place gets packed! Call ahead before you go.

Tunnicliffs (capitol hill)

This hill haunt is PERFECT for a weekend brunch. Their house Bloody Mary can help you take back Sunday and their omelets can’t be beat. You’re bound to see tons of hill staffers and other locals - tourists haven’t discovered this place yet. Also, limit yourself to two Mimosas, otherwise you’ll walk out and buy some crazy piece of art or a table shaped like a fish from Eastern Market. It has happened before.

Crème (U Street)

Bottomless Mimosas, good southern brunch food and the meal is about $20. Never too crowded and this is a great place to take a big group. There are plenty of bars in the neighborhood for day-drinking afterwards.

Martin’s Tavern (g-town)

Martin’s Tavern is a Georgetown tradition like no other. The place is always packed, but you can usually find a seat at the bar. This is a fun place to take an out of town guest who wants that Washington experience.

Merkado (logan circle)

This place rocks, but be prepared to take back Sunday. Lots of energy, lots of light - cool, hip and GREAT food.

Famous Five [political videos]

5 best political videos on youtube

President George W. Bush on Global Warming [Scientific Data]
Obama’s “Yes We Can” Speech Remix [will.i.am]
Chris Farley as Newt Gingrich [Don’t Kill Big Bird]
Rahm for Vice President [Words That Start With F]
Vote Different - [ParkRidge47] (added 3/5/07)

Famous Five [worst headlines]

Welcome to the latest feature of FamousDC called the Famous 5. Every week we’ll highlight 5 of the strangest, funniest, dumbest, coolest or most shocking things we’ve read that week.

As always, if you have suggestions, don’t be shy - email us at tips AT famousdc DOT COM

5 worst headlines of the week [way too many puns]

John Glenn suits up for Clinton lift-off in Ohio [space boy reference]

Flake hopes to be earmarked for Appropriations [pork buster]

At the Transmission Factory, a Smooth Shift [automatic transmission]

Immigration Moves Eyed [virtual border party]

Honestly, Lincoln’s 200th birthday nears [worth a calendar item?]