Boom Goes the Dynamite! Sanford Admits Affair — Ensign Thrilled

Gov. Mark Sanford just spent 30 minutes apologizing to everyone he has ever met, ate breakfast with or sat next to in church -  before admitting to having an affair. [with a female]

The only person happy about this news — Sen. John Ensign.

Transgender Opponents With $5 In Their Campaign Coffers Don’t Make Roy Blunt Nervous

It looks like Roy Blunt might have himself a pretty formidable opponent in his bid to capture a Missouri Senate seat.

Transgender political activist Midge Potts says she’ll attempt to run for U.S. Senate under the Progressive Party banner.

Potts, who ran against Roy Blunt in the GOP 7th District primary in 2006, says she’ll make an official announcement Thursday. The Progressive Party currently doesn’t have ballot status, so she’ll need 10,000 verified signatures.  [over/under on this not happening?]

Issues that will play an integral part of Midge’s platform include: [but are certainly not limited to]

1. Withdrawing all US troops from the Middle East [creative]
2. Balancing the federal budget [easy]
3. Abolishing the IRS [realistic]
4. Making it legal for American farmers to grow hemp and marijuana [game changer]

When asked how much money she had in her campaign bank account, her response, "five dollars." [brutally honest]

Pots is set to kick off her campaign at the Magic Bean Coffee House in Springfield, MO.

Watch the video here .  [worth it]

Move Over Wingdings - Obama Has His Own Font

There are Obama coins , shoes , sweat bands , bibs , plates and lunch boxes , so why not an Obama font …

Translation: Obama Loves FDC

We’re still holding out for some Obama cereal, "Change" Breath mints and the much anticipated "Yes We Candy Bar."

Sarah Palin Has Fancy Toenails

The Huffington Post, known for its mind blowing investigative journalism, has done it again.

This time, toe jam:

At the Autism Speaks walk in Purchase, New York on Sunday, something about Sarah Palin’s toenails stood out.

But wait, there’s more…  According to related stories, this isn’t the first time they’ve painted such great coverage.

Read More: Palin , Palin Toenail , Palin Toenails , Palin Toes , Poll , Sarah Palin , Sarah Palin Decals , Sarah Palin Painted Toenails , Sarah Palin Pedicure , Sarah Palin Pictures , Sarah Palin Rhinestones , Sarah Palin Toenails , Sarah Palin Toes , Sarah Palin’s Toenails , Sarah Palin’s Toes , Style News

Headlines You Can’t Make Up

Washington Independent: Tom Tancredo Staffer Pleads Guilty to Karate-Chopping Black Woman

We love the legal brief:

"…defendant was walking down the street making offensive remarks when he encountered the complaintant…"

Really? That casual? Can’t you just visualize it?

"I’m just <making offensive remarks> in the rain…just <making offensive remarks> in the rain…"

Famously Spotted: Hipster on the Hill

Spotted! At the Capitol Hill Good Stuff on Monday: Mark David [Hipster]

Should we tell him that Lennon’s already dead?  Or, wait, is that the guy who beat the crap out of Dan Rather? [still around, btw ]  Maybe the angsters are turning their ire on Wolf Blitzer?  [that would be Jon Stewart, too ]

In any event, FamousDC never passes up an opportunity to latfh.

Gary Dell’Abate (AKA Baba Booey, AKA Horsetooth Jackass) EPIC Fail at Citi Field

Legendary Howard Stern producer and life-long Mets fan was given the chance to throw out the first pitch at Citi field this past Saturday. The result? See for yourself.

Crackhead Bob, Eric the Midget or any Wack Packer would have done a better job. Even worse, Stern fans know that Fa Fa Flunky hired a sports psychologist to manage his anxiety before the big pitch. This has to go down as one of the worst performances at a stadium since…well since the last Nats game.

And really, Gary, you thought there was a chance it wouldn’t end up on television? Bababababababoooooooooey.

Welcome to Washington

Where the politics are always heated and we take our football damn serious. [Man Removes Car Flag, Gets Clocked By Motorist]

Now Everyone Can Have a Famous Beard

A tipster sent us this miracle website for people with crappy facial hair. It’s really worth checking out to see what they’re doing for people who need beards to compete in today’s society.  The same people who were dealt the short end of the stick when it came to beard genetics.

BeardHead

Beard Head beard caps will protect your head from the cold and keep your upper lip and chin toasty warm, much like a real beard would!
…

Try wearing a Beard Head beard cap out on the ski slopes and impress your friends with your awesome fashion sense! Do your best Viking or Pirate impression by donning a Beard Head at your next sporting event!
…
Stand in all your Beard-y glory as your friends and family stare in awe of your manly Beard Head!

Sports Stimulus

Andy Roth gets Cubs tickets for life?

Monday

Are you this excited to start the week?

Underwater Politcial Douchery

If you’re attempting to replace former Rep. Rahm Emanuel, doing nonsensical sh*t like this just might work.

Believe it or not, we think this ad is clever - but if there’s ever an underwater sequel, we hope Charlie Wheelan considers a few of our suggestions:

1. More underwater cursing.  You’re replacing Rahm, not Mother Teresa.
2. Some sort of shark attack.  Nothing terribly bloody.  Maybe just a limb or two - for dramatic purposes.
3. Outtakes.  Watching this dude nearly drown would make good TV.
4. Underwater sandwich eating.  Google it.  It’s awesome.
5. One word:  Mermaids
6. Lose the suit.  Next time wear only a cod piece and a high heels.

Did we miss something?  Let us know in the comments.

h/t Josh Kraushaar

Dear Boss, Not Going To Make It Into Work Today. My ‘Cello Scrotum’ Is Flaring Up Again.

Behold the FamousDC Headline of the Day [perhaps even year]

‘Cello scrotum’ exposed as a hoax

This little gem comes to us from across the pond and while it has nothing to do with politics, gossip or sports, we’d be doing this blog a complete disservice if we didn’t report on this medical mystery.

CNN/Europe writes: A medical ailment [cello scrotum] that has worried male members of string sections across the music world for over 30 years has been exposed as a hoax.

And just how exactly was this hoax exposed?

A senior British lawmaker confessed to making up the condition known as “cello scrotum” — which relates to chafing from the instrument — after reading about another musically-related ailment called “guitarist’s nipple” in the British Medical Journal in 1974.

Guitarist’s nipple.  Even better.

h/t [you know who you are]

Afternoon Delight

We have no idea why the hell we’re posting this, but it’s likely somebody will make it their desktop background. h/t nextround

Dear Santa, Have You Ever Built a Bridge?

While politicians sit around and talk about bridges to nowhere, a Maryland man, who’s been unable to get to his house for over five years, would settle for any sort of bridge.

Port Deposit resident Willard Heuser has been waiting nearly five years for someone to repair the High Street bridge so he can drive home.  [Dear Santa - how are you at building bridges?]

The bridge, which has been out since 2004, has yet to be repaired.  And to make matters worse, the state refuses to recognize it as a bridge.

Town planner Henry Burden told Heuser the tiny bridge is not recognized by federal authorities as a bridge, meaning there are no prospects for federal funds for the repairs.

Leave it up to to the federal government not to recognize a structure that connects two pieces of land, as a bridge.

And you think your commute is bad…

Oh. Dear. God.

A new ad campaign being run on the DC metro system has sparked a religious throw-down.

The ad, which reads, “Why believe in a god? Just be good for goodness’ sake,” has some DC residents so fired up, it’s left them confused.

That ad is obscene to me!? I wouldn’t want my children reading that.” [was that a question or a statement?]

The lone Metro spokesman tasked with siding against God, had this to say:

“Although we understand that feelings and perceptions will vary among individuals within the community, we cannot reject advertising because an individual, or group, finds it inappropriate or offensive.”

Translation:  We love money more than we love God.

According to FoxDC, out of the 200 complaints thus far, only five of them arrived by e-mail - which proves that people who love God, don’t necessarily use the internet.

“Depends” on Who You Ask

In case you were wondering, Sen. John Kerry, when joking about his under-garments recently, explained that he prefers to roll commando - and as for John McCain, according to Sen. Kerry, he wears adult diapers.

At least while the country is in the toilet, we’re able to talk about like-minded issues.  [no leaks]

Famous Friday Fotoshop

We’ve got a tipster with mad Photoshop skillz, so hopefully these will continue to show up in our tips mailbox.

For All Your Prank Call Needs

Barack Obama Soundboard

John McCain Soundboard

When Did T.I. Become an RNC Delegate?

Who wears $60 thousand dollars worth of jewelry…at a political convention?  This Republican douche.

TMZ: There’s a Delegate on the Floor!

I went to the Republican National Convention and all I got was … robbed by some girl I picked up at a hotel bar.
…
Gabriel Nathan Schwartz, an attorney and delegate to the RNC, told police he had around $60,000 worth of stuff pilfered from his hotel room during the convention. He says he met the girl in the hotel bar and took her to his room. She made him a drink and wouldn’t you know it — that’s the last thing he remembers.
…
According to KMSP in Minneapolis, she got away with a $30,000 watch, a $20,000 ring, a necklace valued at $5,000, earrings priced at $4,000 and a Prada belt valued at $1,000 — all proving Republicans have way too much money. By the way, what’s the deal with the earrings?

RELATED: And I Am Not Lying

Happy Wednesday Morning

This may make coffee come out of your nose.

Timber Challenger Palin

The Internets never cease to amaze. Palin Child Name Generator
Hilarity.
h/t SECRET SIMMERINGS

Name Calling is the Most Sincere Form of Slattery

Here’s a quick lesson in campaigning … don’t give interns administrator privileges - ever, or let them drink on the job.

The below email [believe it or not] was sent out by Jim Slattery’s campaign earlier today.  Jim Slattery, [sweet name] is the brave individual who was tricked by his friends into thinking he could beat legendary Kansas Senator Pat Roberts this November. [Like showing up to knife fight with a Popsicle stick]

Text of the email: In an effort to share the story of average Kansans, we need your testimonials on where Pat Roberts went wrong and how he let you and your family down.  This is your chance to share your motivations.  Getting our country back on the right track is going to take a lot of work and step number one here in Kansas is removing Pat Roberts from office.

So far so good, until you scroll down and read this…

John from Dodge City shared this, “Pat Roberts…is an asshole”

We don’t much about politicking here at FDC, but we do know that this probably isn’t the best way to lend credibility to one’s campaign.

Wow.

Screen grab below.  [note: we added the arrow]

Happy 50th Ben’s Chili Bowl

Nothing celebrates a 50th Birthday like multiple MOON BOUNCES!

If they had these all the time, all of the city’s problems would be solved. Streets would get fixed, crime would come to a grinding halt, Pepco workers would be helpful - simply, the world would be a better place.

We love you Ben’s Chili Bowl!

Stick to the talking points — on three — break!

Maybe you should be a little nicer to that press secretary in your office. You know, the one that always seems to come in the meetings at the last second and then gets his name quoted next to some zinger in HOH. Yep, that guy. Looks like if he plays his cards right he could one day work for the White House, or an even higher office, like an NFL team.

Jay Glazer: Packers hire Fleischer to consult on Favre saga

The Green Bay Packers have apparently decided they need a little help on the public relations front when it comes to handling the ongoing Brett Favre saga. FOXSports.com has learned that the Packers will employ former White House press secretary Ari Fleischer for one month as a consultant.
…
Fleischer, who was President George W. Bush’s official spokesperson for a majority of his first term in office, is now president of Ari Fleischer Sports Communications, a joint venture with IMG.
…
According to an Associated Press report, Fleischer met with Packers players Thursday, but the meeting was scheduled several weeks ago, before the Favre controversy flared up. The report also said while Fleischer didn’t focus on how players should handle the Favre situation, the topic was discussed.
…
“Obviously it’s a topic, and it wasn’t ignored,” Fleischer told the AP in a phone interview Thursday.

Funny how Scott McClellan didn’t get that gig. Uh, maybe because the Packers knew that after he’d left, he’d start talking smack about Lombardi.

Congress Is Leaving…What to Do?

Of course, the Running of the Brides

Jeff Clabaugh: Filene’s frenzy set for Friday

Unless you’re looking for a bargain-priced wedding gown, you might want to steer clear of Mazza Gallerie Friday morning. It’s time for Filene’s Basement’s annual “Running of the Brides.”
…
Filene’s will open the doors at its Mazza Gallerie store at 8 a.m. Friday for its once-a-year wedding gown sale, which usually turns into a contact sport among bargain hunters.
…
Filene’s is expecting no less this year.

Cardboard Tube Fighting on the Mall

You can’t make this up folks. There is a Cardboard Tube Fighting League and the Washington War Dance took first place this Saturday on the National Mall. Wow

We particularly like the father who awkwardly proudly stood by with his camera and bluetooth earpiece.  Photos of this “event” will surely haunt each one of these cardboard crusaders in years to come.

More pictures found here in the album entitled: “I should kick my own ass for doing this.” 

JibJab Has Done It Again

Some of their best work to date.

Hotdogs vs. PETA

On the hill today the American Meat Institute is sponsoring the Annual Capitol Hill Hot Dog Lunch. This means Members and staffers can stop by, grab a hot dog, and meet a baseball Hall of Famer.

Today is also a favorite day to every male hill staffer aged 22 -82, because PETA sends up their Lettuce Ladies to hand out veggie dogs right outside the Hot Dog Party. There aren’t any Hall of Fame baseball players at the PETA party, but there seems to always be a long line.

Ahh, America.

Another Free Cap Lounge Ad

HOH: Striptease II

The titillating tale of the two bare-chested women making out with each other at the Capitol Lounge on Saturday night is reaching near urban-legend status on Capitol Hill. The scandalous rumors are flying (The girls were twins! They were tan but had no tan lines!), but HOH is happy to bring you more salacious, and confirmable, details: The women apparently engaged in the steamy session at the behest of a Lounge bartender, who said if the women wanted to stay at the bar — it was nearing closing time — they would have to take off their tops, according the HOH sources. The women acquiesced to the bartender’s (probably in-jest) request and put on quite a show.

Cap Lounge Cat Fight

We bet the Lounge will be packed this Saturday.

From today’s HOH: Striptease

Revelers at the popular watering hole Capitol Lounge on Saturday night were treated to a scene straight out of a “Girls Gone Wild” DVD. HOH hears two women engaged in a topless make-out session at the front bar, after one of them directed an obscenity-laced rant at one of the bartenders.
…
Amazed patrons snapped cell-phone pictures and videos of the girl-on-girl action, we’re told.
…
Sadly, HOH couldn’t collect any intel on the identities of the misbehaving ladies — neither of whom are believed to be Hill staffers — and HOH couldn’t reach anyone at the Lounge for comment.
…
So we can only beseech our readers for help. Know the identity of the mystery women? Can you shed any light on the naughty incident?

We Could Understand Viqueira

but David Gregory?

Craigslist: NBC–David - 35 (NW DC)

Interested in what type shoes David Gregory wears to work? his shoe size?

FamousDC Posterous

FamousDC - It’s like waking up to a double yolk  egg every morning.

Get the Chuck Outta Here

Well, it’s official, somebody in this country has an unhealthy obsession with Chuck Todd - and proof is in the latest creation dedicated to the Chuckster.

No, it’s not Viva Chuck Todd, we already posted on that strangeness.

Chuck Facts?  Nope, been there, chucked that.

This time, it’s Chuck Todd 08.  Yup, and entire site dedicated to getting Chucky T on the presidential ticket.  Check out the circus for yourself and if you’re feeling brave, grab yourself a campaign poster.  We did.

Cocktails First. Questions Later

INTERNITY: It is intern season.

*Tipsters in the Kitchen

We got a tip from a loyal FamousDC reader that a certain famous chef is filming 10 episodes in our fair city this week. Any FamousDC readers cooking?

Remember we appreciate your ideas, suggestions, and tips. They’re always (and forever) anonymous at TIPS@FamousDC.com

Let’s Hope This Kind of Tomfoolery is a Fad, Not a Precedent

Remember Tom DeLay? Well, after he walked away from congress, folks came from everywhere, circus included, to replace him. Including her. A man in love with himself. And at one time, this guy, who tried to run, but was told it would be best if he just quietly went away.

Well, Mayor Dave Wallace doesn’t want to be quiet anymore.

Wallace, who just so happens to be the current mayor of Sugar Land, TX, is apparently also the Mayor of VH1.

Hold on tight, you might just fall out of your chair.

Oddly Enough, Obama Still Looking for Handouts

Mr. Odd Ball himself, Robert Basler of Reuters, is at it again - this time responding to one fan’s email:

Hello, Blog Guy - Like many voters, I base my decision almost entirely on how good the candidates are at acting out scenes from classic literature. So far this political season, I have to say I’ve been very disappointed.

Basler responded with this classic photo side-by-side. The only thing left to wonder, how this particular reader will respond to the photo.

Chuck Todd, Still Sweeping the Nation

It’s perhaps the strangest phenomenon in the history of NBC News, but we too are addicted.

Chuck Todd mania has clearly swept the nation and we’ve found yet another website dedicated to all things Chuck Todd. [Viva Chuck Todd]

This well constructed and colorful site has Chuck Todd drinking games, real political commentary and even Chuck Todd-themed e-cards, which alone are worth the visit.

Our favorite:

“Well slap my ass and call me Chuck Todd, it’s your birthday.”

And just to top it off, apparently Chuck’s grandmother contacted the site to let them know she’s a fan - and can be referred to as Chuck’s G.

Who doesn’t love them some Chuck Todd?

McCain seeks eco-friendly voters with bottomless pockets

Good news …

If you’re a rich Republican who pretends to care about trees and you’re looking to toss a few hundred bucks away, we’ve got the perfect website for you.

For the rest of the voting public, you’ll have to sell an organ in order to afford John McCain’s latest line of environmentally friendly clothing.

BTW: None of McCain’s “green” items are actually green, which is unfortunate - although, he gets a gold star for trying.

[h/t Wake-Up Call]

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