It seems that this time of the year, everyone has an opinion on what you should be getting for your friends, loved ones, significant others, coworkers, acquaintances, cats, dogs, parakeets, and arch nemeses. So here are our two cents on how to holiday shop, please use caution.

The casual dater: Does anyone else have a friend who always seems to be rushing away to go on a date? Does anyone else’s friend feel that OkCupid is a solid resource for forming lifelong bonds of love and happiness…? Well, if so, we would recommend a match.com subscription.

Really, it is an investment. Have you heard every gory detail of last Friday night’s fling? Have you forgotten what it is like to meet for happy hour without hearing about Trevor, Steve and Tom?…Oh and Richard. Well, then Match, eHarmony or a dating site of your choosing is actually a down payment for your own sanity…and hopefully your friend’s as well.

Your Secret Santa: We hope, like us, you have long given up on receiving a good Secret Santa gift. Let’s face it, you’re lucky if you get a nice, safe, boring Starbucks card. For example, last year, this Lady received a meat tenderizer which has been doubling as a very lovely back scratcher. ‘Tis the Season for marbled steak!

So, if you are like us, let this cynicism show in your gift and fully embrace your inner Grinch. We recommend getting your randomly selected victim…or Santa…something practical. Are you buying for a coworker with halitosis? How about an in-office dental hygiene kit? A friend who never has cash for tip or a cab? How about a piggy bank? Not too close with your intended giftee? Make something up. Nothing says happy holidays like a pack of condoms and some mistletoe.

The Acquaintance: These are the friend’s that even Facebook knows are acquaintances—they have lists for that. While you may not normally purchase something for these people, everyone (kind of) knows at least one acquaintance who is a spritely Christmas Santa’s little helper who feels compelled to give a gift to everyone they’ve met in a bar at 1am. While lovely, this does put you in the awkward position of reciprocating their Holiday cheer.

Now, we are sure at this time of year, you have all heard the evils of re-gifting. Well, forget all you have been told and re-gift the hell out of your acquaintance gifter. Did your great aunt give you fuzzy socks with polka dots on them? Did your neighbor bake you an…interesting assortment of gluten free, sugar free treats? Not planning on using that meat tenderizer you’ve always wanted? Perhaps your acquaintance would find it a beautiful gesture.

Can’t get over the stigma of re-gifting? Our advice is to keep a handful of candy canes handy.

What we are getting ourselves: Because let’s be real, it is the thought that counts anyway right? And what could be a more thoughtful, informed gift than the one you get for you! For our part, these Ladies have their eye on matching decoder rings…beware, come January all these posts will be for code breakers only!

So be sure, though this is the season of giving, to treat yourselves nice this holiday season.

Oh, and if you want to give Ladies Who Lobby a gift, following us at @LadiesWhoLobby would make our season bright.