If you’re anything like the rest of the world, you’ve always wondered two things:

1) Why do chimps throw poop?
2) And why won’t the government subsidize a study to find out the answer?

Guess what? You’re in luck.

Seriously, the government is going to use your money to figure out why chimps throw poop.

Never mind the $15 trillion national debt; the government blew $592,000 on a study last year to figure out why chimpanzees throw poop.

The government is also spending money trying to figure out if unhappy people spend more time on social networks [answer = yes] and thousands of dollars on a cowboy poetry celebration. [yee-haw]

See for yourself.