If’ you’ve been lucky enough to tender the House cafeterias lately, you’ve noticed all the great green new perks, including corn spoons. Which are edible, in case the organic burrito made with fake cheese doesn’t fill you up.
Now, in the latest turn of events – one likely blamed on high gas prices, Nancy and her CAO cohort, Dan “Green” Beard, are demanding that new environmentally friendly water bottles replace the popular Dasani water bottles.
Why? Unclear.
Left to defend the decision, Jeff Ventura. Who just so happens to have a very tough job:
“Possible price increases are being reviewed at this time,” Jeff Ventura, spokesman for the Chief Administrative Officer, wrote in an e-mail.
But a CAO press release did give one hint: A bottle of water now costing $1.25 could cost $1.50 – a 20 percent increase.
The news came out after the CAO’s office announced that, starting today, House staffers will only be able to buy biodegradable water bottles at the chamber’s cafeterias.
The cost of those bottles is $1.60, which is 35 cents more than a bottle now. But, a press release noted, only “$.10 more than a proposed price increase.”
As you can imagine, some staffers are not thrilled. So not thrilled one of them penned this fine poem.
When they came for our plastic forks and spoons,
We remained silent;
We used biodegradable.
When they took away the cigarettes in the convenience stores,
We remained silent;
We brought our own smokes.
When they installed a hot dog vending machine,
We remained silent;
Because that was awesome.
When they jacked up the price of water, so Nance could continue to save the planet.
Ventura was left alone to defend it.
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