Do Political Reporters Just Make Stuff Up?

Dear Andrew Malcolm,

Welcome back from Mars.  We hope your fact finding mission was a success.

After you acclimate yourself, can you do us a favor and explain as to why you love reporting on rumors?  And how exactly you came to explain that Hillary will step in for Biden, post VP debate.

***We’re looking for facts, not baseless rumors.

And in case you were wondering, because you’ve been out of pocket for a bit, yes, the Wizards are trading Gilbert Arenas for the ghost of Christmas past.  Pretty neat, huh?

Andy, just because someone on the interwebs says it – doesn’t make it true – or even worth reporting on for that matter.

Proudly,

FDC

After Sarah Palin VP debate, Joe Biden to step aside for Hillary Clinton?

Hyper Hill

Ain’t no party like…[a science party]
How to Get Over a Guy [damsel]
Weekend Work Kit [Hill Style]
See it for the first time [DC]
Ballin’ w/ books [Alonzo]
Get your bribe on [DMV]
Smile [liminality]
Cube [love]
Red [PB]

We’re Hungry For Obama

There’s a new online initiative out there that might just wet your appetite.

It’s called Hungry for Obama.

The purpose:  To get people to have dinner parties to raise money for Obama.

Who doesn’t like talking politics with a mouth full of food?

h/t Tech President

Stop, Drop, and Call Your Press Secretary

Something here doesn’t belong:
a) Wall Street bailouts
b) 700 point drops
c) sucking thumbs

Daniel Reilly: RSC Defends Bailout Opposition

Another RSC member, Rep. Michele Bachmann, said it was wrong to accuse Republicans of simple knee-jerk opposition to the bill, especially when so many Democrats voted against it as well.

“We are not babies who are suck our thumbs,” she said. “We have very principled reasons [for opposing this].”

Happy Tuesday

Tuesday is the new Thursday. What have we learned in the past 24 hours?

Congress is really, really good at pointing fingers; not so good at passing bailouts
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Time to start exploring new retirement options
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Skins “jumped off” against the Cowboys
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Things you don’t want on your resume

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The Speaker had a few tough days
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#Luke still isn’t on Fox News
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T.O. is still a big baby
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Timing is everything

FDC Twitter Round Up

• #luke — Your vote counts! Why is Luke turning down Megyn and Fox News? http://tinyurl.com/3uem7t #
• #luke — make your voice heard. Only YOU can bring about real change and get Luke on Fox News. http://tinyurl.com/3uem7t #

Pick Your Pep Talk

House Minority Leader Boehner:

Minority Leader John Boehner nearly choked up as he begged his Republican colleagues to vote “in the best interest of their country” for the bailout bill.
…
Admitting that the outcome is in “serious doubt,” an impassioned Boehner implored his colleagues to cast aside politics — and possibly endanger their own political futures — by voting yes.
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“Think about what happens to your friends, your neighbors, your constituents … These are the votes that separate the men from the boys and the girls from the women — these are the votes your constituents sent you here to vote for on their behalf — these are the kind of votes where we have to look into our souls.”

Speaker of the House Pelosi:

When was the last time someone asked you for $700 billion?
…
It is a number that is staggering, but tells us only the costs of the Bush Administration’s failed economic policies-policies built on budgetary recklessness, on an anything goes mentality, with no regulation, no supervision, and no discipline in the system.
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Democrats believe in the free market, which can and does create jobs, wealth, and capital, but left to its own devices it has created chaos.

Congressional Cupcakes

For all you Facebook fanatics, here’s a fun little “treat.”  [hard at work in Boozman's office]

Hyper Hill

Bailout request [my own]
steve madden [exposed]
Bracelet Wars [tapper]
Wash your hair [luke]
Summer ale [sarah]
lunch [commute]
100+ Ls [nats]

Attention Congressional Staffers …

UPDATE:  Marc Ambinder writes, “Where’s Tom DeLay when you need ‘em?”  Other FDC readers email, “This would’ve never happened with DeLay in the saddle.”

Where is Tom DeLay anyway?

Michelle Malkin calls bailout a “crap sandwich.”  Has a flaming bag of poo on her site.

————

Dear Hill Staff,

Can you please work quickly to polish this turd?  Our stock portfolios are sucking wind.

Thanks,

FDC Readers

Trailer: An American Carol

What do you do when you’re a Republican in Hollywood?  You get together with the only other Republicans in town – and the five of you make a really strange movie.

“An American Carol” features: Kelsey Grammer, Dennis Hopper, James Woods, Jon Voight, and a couple others.

GOP Gatekeeper Yet to Leave the Gate

He’s become an overnight sensation [our inbox can prove it] – and an office-hold name on Capitol Hill.  Not to mention Megyn Kelly has asked that he appear on her show.  So why has the GOP Gatekeeper not made a trip to NYC to appear on “America’s Morning” on Fox News?

Monday Morning Nerves

Happy Monday morning. Speaker Pelosi says the bailout is cooler than cool. Financial power shifts from NYC to DC. Hill staff, reporters, Kim, Jay, and Olga all worked this weekend. Monday is the new Wednesday.

Here’s a list of things that get on our nerves to go with your morning coffee.

On our last nerve:

Slow drivers on the beltway
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Weekend emails from Stip and Alexis
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Cowboys fans
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Parking garage at the Capitol Hill Harris Teeter
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Brett Favre blowing up when we bench him
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Tourists on segways

On a somber note … RIP

The Debate is Back On and It’s Time to Get Boozy

I think we can all agree on one thing, as we stand by clutching our piggy banks, anxiously awaiting tonight’s debates – wouldn’t they be much more interesting if there was alcohol involved?

Fear not.  We present to you, the debate drinking game. 

You must drink when…

When McCain refers to the moderator as “my friend” or the audience as “my friends”

When anyone brings up “suspending the campaign”

It’s a Social when Sarah Palin is mentioned!

Finish whatever you are drinking if McCain loses his temper!

When someone starts quoting dollar figures (for example: 700 billion)

h/t author David H. Schleicher, who just so happened to write the rules.

Hyper Hill

Baltimore? [dc universe]
Sugar & Spice [suspend]
Pickup Style [ultimate]
Green Living [toasted]
Debate Party [ruined]
key words [ashley]
Well said [Rubin]
Alltop [politics]

Light Socket Politics

Sen. Chris Dodd is not only struggling to help fix our suffering economy, but he’s also struggling to find product that will tame his hair during these turbulent times.

The good news: At least the hair is real.

Boehner Meets With Bush, Has a Few Drinks

It’s not everyday you get to go to the White House and enjoy some free refreshments, so when that chance rolls around, you better darn sure take advantage of it.

Check out Leader Boehner. He got the diet coke, tea and coffee.  Aggressive.

Cool Hand Luke

UPDATE: Yesterday we wrote this in our post about Luke: “We can smell the Fans of Luke Facebook group just around the corner.”  Well, low and behold, here it is. But why no link to FamousDC on their page?

Yesterday we brought you the story of Cool Hand Luke Hatzis, the GOP Gatekeeper and young man that FoxNews reporter Megyn Kelly is enamored with.   Matter of fact, she’s so capitvated by Luke’s story, that she asked him to come on her show, “America’s Newsroom.”

No word as to whether Luke is going to head to NYC, but he was kind enough to send her a picture.

And it’s sweet.  [it's after the jump]

Read more

Drudge Has a Breakdown of His Own

In a rush to post the latest financial bailout news, it seems Matt Drudge had a breakdown of his own.  A grammatical breakdown.

If it makes him feel any better, we do it all the time.

Meet the GOP Gatekeeper

According to the latest polls, 99.9% of folks think Congress kind of sucks at what they do.  And it seems as if America has given up faith on them.

So what do you do when people are about to tune out Congress?  Pitch a fun story which will keep people interested and paying attention to what’s going on in Congress.

Hats off to a clever GOP press team that pitched this idea and brought some fun perspective to the “seriousness” of the GOP secret meetings.

Meet Luke Hatzis.  Luke, a Capitol Hill staple, was former Speaker Dennis Hastert’s right hand guy -and according to FDC readers, the ultimate team player always willing to lend a hand.

And it just so happens that Luke has one of the most important jobs on Capitol Hill.  He’s the GOP gatekeeper.

When it comes to sensitive GOP meetings – nobody get’s by unless Luke knows them.  Staffers know – you want access, you better know Luke.

Luke has become such a legend in the hallowed halls of Congress, FoxNews recently reported on him – and now their itching to interview the “GOP Gatekeeper.”

We can smell the Fans of Luke Facebook group just around the corner.

Hyper Hill

No Cats Were Harmed [girlofwords]
Athletes and classic rock [jockstrap]
DC Skyline [Metrocentric]
Buying a house? [redfin]
Mural of the week [PoP]
It begins [WH09]
Ridiculous [milk]
Big room [UN]

Palin Also Suspends Her Campaign

Since her departure from Alaska, grizzly natives have decided to moose hunt without McCain running mate Gov. Sarah Palin.  Something that has Palin so upset, she’s suspended her campaign and is headed back to Alaska.

Botanical Garden closes after bear kills moose near fence
Anchorage Daily News
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A bear feasting on a moose carcass along the perimeter fence of Alaska Botanical Garden Tuesday morning has prompted officials to close the facility. The garden will be closed to public use until Oct. 10 to give the bear time to finish its carcass and move along.
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Garden staff and volunteers are also limiting their activity during cleanup week to avoid confrontations with the animal. As a result, garden beds do not have to be cleaned up this week, and officials are asking volunteers to avoid going into the garden alone or at dawn and dusk. Depending on what the bear does, officials said, they might cancel all remaining activities for 2008.

Only in Alaska, would you close down a popular tourist trap to let a wild animal finish eating its dinner.  We’re not quite sure how this type of activity will resonate with New York voters.

This List Stresses Us Out

Come on!

Elections every two years, our economy may melt down, five daily hill focused newspapers, non-stop fundraisers, melting straws, partisan sniping, tourists, people who ride the elevator one floor, and no parking on the hill, and we still didn’t make this list?

Forbes: America’s Most Stressful Cities

10. Philly (eat a cheese steak and shut up)
9. Providence (boredom leads to stress)
8. Salt Lake City (no booze, gotcha)
7. Cleveland (not a shocker)
6. San Diego (really?)
5. San Francisco (Pelosi stresses a lot of people out)
4. L.A. (take two)
3. Detroit (no jobs = stress)
2. NYC (A-Rod)
1. Chicago (cubs fan stress us all out)

Don’t Expect Any Snow Plows This Winter

Now it is getting $eriou$

Reuters: Washington DC faces shortfall, money market scramble

Washington, D.C., is facing a $131 million budget gap for the fiscal year starting in October, its chief financial officer told reporters on Wednesday.
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“Our view is pessimistic,” Natwar Gandhi said, adding that he expects the city’s economic growth to slow but not stop in the coming year.

McCain: Enough Campaigning, Let’s Fix Some Sh*t

McCain allows staff to take an extended recess.  Why?  Click here. [hint: Cuz the economy is in the crapper]

Hyper Hill

**F-ROMO [dcist]**
Ms. Jackson Award [picnic]
Caps! Caps! Caps! [district]
Fake Chanel [embassy]
Plasmas! [Wall Street]
Train faces [esther]

SpinSpotter, the Gift that Keeps on Giving

Ever been to a bar with a press secretary the night before a big story comes out?  One that’s going to have him or her on record defending some ridiculous accurate allegation leveled against their boss?  If you haven’t – you should try it on for size.  And if you’re lucky unfortunate and don’t have any press friends, go onto your email machine and try to find some on Match.com – it’s worth it.

Press flacks are like zoo animals and extremely fun to watch. They get so riled up about each story they work on – as if each will be the defining moment of their career. They act as if the globe will stop spinning if they are misquoted or taken out of context [otherwise known as every flack's excuse for a bad quote].

As if these press flacks weren’t self-serving proud enough – they always seem to forward their handy work around the next day – or post it on Facebook page – which equates to the annoying grown-up version of show and tell.  Leaving you to sit there and think to yourself, “congratulations, numnuts, you did your job.”

Well, next time your favorite flack forwards you an article they appeared in – hop onto your computer box and plug in this address www.SpinSpotter.com.  It might just change your relationship with them for the better.

Never again will your annoying lovable press flack friends who were never hugged enough as children forward you articles – because when they do, you’ll be forced to calculate the amount of bullshit they were slinging around.

Consider this a gift.  You can thank us later.

And be sure to pay this forward. Send it to all your flack friends.

Fantasy Football Rantworthy – Week 3

I heard the world markets are on the brink of collapsing.  I couldn’t care less.  My fantasy football team has collapsed.

Lehman Brothers crashed and burned?  Bite Me.  Randy Moss is a total loss this year unless he all of sudden starts earning fantasy points for sitting on the bench thinking about how to be an asshole (more on that later).

Don’t come in here with this whole, “the economy is collapsing,” crap when there are bigger things to worry about – namely my f’d fantasy football season.

Let’s get started

1.  I forgot to mention last week’s Monday Night Football game where the National Anthem was murdered by some chick named Kat Deluna on national TV.  It was awful.  She even messed up the words to the song, but what do you expect from a chick who can’t spell “cat” correctly.  Ms. Deluna was singing the national anthem in honor of the NFL’s observation of National Hispanic Heritage month.  Tony Gonzalez was quoted as saying, “they did all that for me?”
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2.  The Brady debacle is just getting worse.   It’s one thing to lose your starting quarterback; it’s another to lose to the Miami Tuna at home… by three touchdowns.  Ronnie Brown (Ricky Williams’ backup) ran for four touchdowns and threw for one against the defending Super Bowl runner ups.
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3.  Ronnie Brown went up for 39 fantasy points on Sunday.  Randy Moss has a total for 19 for the season.  To make things worse Randy Moss went all “Randy Moss” when the game when started slipping away.  He sat on the bench all by himself trying to figure how wreck the clubhouse like he did in Minnesota and Oakland. Now I’ve got a guy with no one to throw to him and he’s about have some kind of mental breakdown and get suspended.  He’s like an unarmed Vince Young.
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4.  Peyton Manning… you bastard.  What the hell happened?  Two years ago you’d score 15 fantasy points just walking in to the stadium.  You put up a nine (9, nueve, 3X3) this week.  Your commercials were real cute when you were banking 32 points on Sundays, but they’re pissing me off now that you’ve turned into your brother circa 2006.  You better step up your game or face losing your endorsements.  Ever since Michael Phelps turned into Mr. T in China you no longer have the market cornered on goofy looking athletic white boys willing to do commercials.
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5.  Brett Favre continued to be a fantasy craps shoot this week by posting an 18 with three touchdowns and two “oh shits.”  Some people ride bulls for thrills.  Some people surf on top of moving trains for excitement.  I draft Brett Farve.
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6.  It was nice to see LT do something other than watch his backup tear it up.  The Visor went for 20, but he looks old.  Do you remember Marshall Faulk?  Yeah, neither do I.
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7.  Randy Moss has 19 points this entire season.  The Bears defense is whooping his ass.
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8.  Kyle Freaking Orton just may be the best quarterback/D&D player in the country.  He threw two touchdowns and two “Kyle Ortons” and finished with 18 points.  He also cast a level 3 weather spell on Joe Flaco.
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9.  Speaking of Joe Flaco. He had a great day.  They guy who runs like my 60 year-old dad managed to complete 13 passes to his own team and two to the other team.  He scored one (1, uno, .5+.5) point in the Raven’s very surprising win over the brown stains.
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10. 59 year-old Kerry Collins led the Tennessee Titans to their third win this week and had 12 fantasy points.  He runs more like an athlete than Flaco.
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11.  T.O. fans were disappointed to see him only put up a single point on the fantasy board this week.  Fans were also confused when Cowboy owner Jerry Jones started a country singer named “Miles Austin” in the third receiver slot.  Miles put up 17 points and played an awesome half-time tribute to Miley Cirus’ Dad who used to be what Sinatra was to Vegas in trailer parks.  Sarah Palin’s sons Knife and Bulldozer were quoted as saying, “Miles’ parents must not like him much.”

Bailout Only Show in Town

We’re not sure if this has ever happened, but The Hill and Roll Call have almost the SAME exact front page photos yesterday. We know Bill Clark and Lauren Victoria Burke wouldn’t copy each others’ work, but this just goes to show that the bailout is the only show in town this week.

Happy Wednesday Morning

It’s only Wednesday? This week will not end. Ever
What are we going to do?
How about…ROCK OUT 80’s STYLE

DEVO
They are for real
Bam, Thank you man?!
Sing along, you know the words
Way to ruin a good date
What time is lunch?
We’ve. got. nothing.
Watch the video and you’ll understand
Where Zoolander learned Blue Steel
We All Need to Dance More
These Guys Are on Tour
Quiet Down

You can’t listen to this without fist pumping
Or this one … just try
Need a guide?

$111 Million Reasons to Say Yes

Agent Zero may not play next season, but he does have time to get engaged.
WaPo: Arenas Went a-Courting, and the Answer Was Yes

After seven years and two kids together, Gilbert Arenas and Laura Govan are making it official: They’re getting married
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The Wizards’ $111 million superstar turned around a week of bad news — a third knee surgery that could keep him off the court through the end of the year — by getting engaged over the weekend.
…
“Life is about growth and getting smarter about the choices we make,” Arenas said in an e-mail. “Being a husband and father will require both of those!” We couldn’t tease out any more details (the proposal, the date); knowing Agent Zero, he’s probably waiting to break the story on his own blog.

So, what about next season? It looks like Arenas took to his blog to tell us about surgery number 3.

Agent Zero: The Blog File

I actually did everything I was supposed to after the season. I sat out a whole month without doing anything. No nothing. No rehab, no jogging, no nothing. I took the time because whatever the pain was that felt like a pinch or a bruised bone, we felt that over time, with me not doing anything the pinch would go away.
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Then we started working out and the pain started coming back, the pain that was in the back of the knee. We ended up finding out that it was debris and swelling that was causing that pain. The pressure that was inside the knee was causing one of the nerves back there to be pinched and it was causing me pain. It wasn’t pain to where I couldn’t play, but it was pain to the point where I couldn’t get through rehab the way I wanted to and before I stepped on the floor I didn’t want anything holding me back.

FamousDC applauds our local blogging sports superstars and hope to see Agent Zero back on the court soon.

Nancy’s Kitchen so Green, Staffers Mistake it for Mold

If’ you’ve been lucky enough to tender the House cafeterias lately, you’ve noticed all the great green new perks, including corn spoons.  Which are edible, in case the organic burrito made with fake cheese doesn’t fill you up.

Now, in the latest turn of events – one likely blamed on high gas prices, Nancy and her CAO cohort, Dan “Green” Beard, are demanding that new environmentally friendly water bottles replace the popular Dasani water bottles.

Why?  Unclear.

Left to defend the decision, Jeff Ventura.  Who just so happens to have a very tough job:

“Possible price increases are being reviewed at this time,” Jeff Ventura, spokesman for the Chief Administrative Officer, wrote in an e-mail.

But a CAO press release did give one hint: A bottle of water now costing $1.25 could cost $1.50 – a 20 percent increase.

The news came out after the CAO’s office announced that, starting today, House staffers will only be able to buy biodegradable water bottles at the chamber’s cafeterias.

The cost of those bottles is $1.60, which is 35 cents more than a bottle now. But, a press release noted, only “$.10 more than a proposed price increase.”

As you can imagine, some staffers are not thrilled.  So not thrilled one of them penned this fine poem.

When they came for our plastic forks and spoons,
We remained silent;
We used biodegradable.

When they took away the cigarettes in the convenience stores,
We remained silent;
We brought our own smokes.

When they installed a hot dog vending machine,
We remained silent;
Because that was awesome.

When they jacked up the price of water, so Nance could continue to save the planet.
Ventura was left alone to defend it.

Read other posts about Nancy’s Green Kitchen

NANNY STATE GONE WILD!

Nancy, your yogurt blows

Tofu Tales: Nancy gets meatballed

This is Not a Hoax Email

This email is flying around Capitol Hill – and we can assure you it’s totally legit and so is the accompanying photo.  Yes, Sec. Treasurer Henry Paulson can really shoot lightning from his fingers.

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson

Hyper Hill

Political Stunt [planned parenthood]
Hagel Endorsement [nader]
Stalking 101 [isearch]
therapist [overheard]
RSC [heart attack]

Palin Body Guards Former Back Up Singers

These body guards look like they’re fresh off the Christina Aguilera tour – complete with ridiculous looking microphones.  Were people really fooled by this set up?  Perhaps.

From Calderone’s blog:

If Sarah Palin didn’t actually get to hit the streets yesterday when she met world leaders at the U.N., who was on the cover of the Daily News?
…

Well, it turned out to be a look-alike named  Kristy Webb, who was hired by the Daily News, along with two fake bodyguards.
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The News was trying to get an idea of how New Yorkers would react to the Alaska governor, and reached a verdict: “Sorry, Sarah. New Yorkers can’t wait to meet you – but not too many of them are going to vote for you.”

Look Who Likes Twitter Now

Everyone is embracing the nerd technology.  Welcome @wonkette

Roll Call Announces Fab Fifty

Who doesn’t love a good list?  And regardless of whether you’re on this one or not – it’s sure to spark some water cooler chatter this week.

Roll Call’s Fabulous Fifty

If you’re #51 – this list is the worst thing that’s ever happened to your career.  If you made the top 50 – you’re probably in your boss’s office demanding some sort of pay raise.

Which of these folks didn’t make the list?
Jennifer Crider, Communications Director, DCCC
Kevin Smith, Communications Director, House Minority Leader
Jaime Harrison, Floor Director, House Majority Whip Clyburn
Brian Walsh, Communications Director, Senator Cornyn
Huma Abedin, Aide to Senator Clinton

The Last Week is the Hardest

Yes, this week may never end and we’re going to burn the midnight oil through the weekend.

What if we weren’t working on the hill?

We could:
Lead fishing trips in the Virgin Islands
Be ESPN Stat Boy
Be a Super Model
Be a Professional Golfer
Cook for John Madden
Be Married to Gwen
Be a Professional Blogger

Diddy Obama Blog 16

Diddy says “John McCain Is Buggin The F%^k Out’”! (keep the volume down, bad language)

Wet, Hot American Politics

Checking out the latest article on the Politico has never been this much fun for Capitol Hill interns.   Thank goodness for Ben Smith, sports betting and some good ole American style football.

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