Did you just ask me to spell numnuts?

UPDATE: Sameer wins National Spelling Bee. See ya on Leno.

Sameer Mishra, an 8th Grader from West Lafayette, Indiana, brought a little much-needed humor to the National Spelling Bee when he was asked to spell the word numnah, but mistakenly thought he was told to spell numnuts. Hilarity ensues.

Famously Wanted

Here’s today’s Craigslist DC want ad of the day.

I need sand …

Perhaps Scott McClellan is looking to bury his head in it.

Hyper Hill

The Best Place for a Jumbo Slice in DC [Adams Morgan]
Vineyard Vines in G-town [Project Beltway]
Joakim Noah vs. Cedric Benson [Bust]
All Magazines, All the Time [Zinio]
Thanks, Deadpin [FamousDC]

Tip #4 Taxi Cab Receipts

Taxi cab receipts are the equivalent of gold in DC. Reimbursements are necessary and profitable. Try claiming $20.00 for a ride across town without one, and you’ll soon understand what we mean.

Read more

Congressman Loses His Sh*!, Takes It Out On Gavel

YouTube, a company known for bridging the gap between Republicans and Democrats, has offered up yet another gem.

In the clip below, Rep. Henry Waxman makes it abundantly clear that Rep. Darrell Issa will not be getting a holiday card from him this year.

Note: The obsessive gavel banging, led by Waxman, [Tourette Syndrome] begins at the 2:00 minute mark.

It’s worth the wait.

Al Franken Hearts Porn, Minnesotans Don’t

Al Franken’s latest role, attempting to play a grown-up, isn’t working out so well.

From Real Clear Politics: A Playboy article written in 2000 by current Minnesota Democratic Senate candidate Al Franken has caused a maelstrom of outrage — and not just from the opposing party.
…

With just a week before the state convention, where Franken was all but assured of winning the DFL endorsement (which is often tantamount to the nomination), the endorsement could now be in question because of a sexually explicit article he wrote eight years ago on the future of pornography.

The Franken response: “The work was merely satire.” And some think his attempt to become Senator, just the same.

Tip #3 Embrace the Metro [and all its glory]

The Metro is the lifeblood of DC travel, [lucky you] especially since gas prices have shot through the Capitol Dome. You can get just about anywhere within the district on the Metro.  And even some places you’d never want to.

If you have no idea what the “Metro” is, we’ll explain.

Metro is a quasi-reliable electric train that travels both below and above ground and sometimes not at all. During the winter it carries flu-ridden passengers, who never have tissues- and rancid-smelling folks during the summer.

Schedules: The trains come every few minutes during workday hours and rarely if ever after 8pm. Lucky for you, there is a website that attempts to predict train schedules, but because that too blows, we didn’t take time to find a link. If you enter “metro, schedule, train, unreliable, DC, timetable, blows” into your favorite search engine [Google] – see if you get lucky.

Seating: Good luck. Unless you board at originating destinations, you’ll be standing – which would be fine if the well-trained Metro conductors knew how to operate brakes. They don’t. They never will.

Tunes: If you by chance forget to bring headphones for your trip, no worries, there’s a good chance the dingleberry standing next to you will have theirs cranked too loud.

Walk, don’t run: Don’t run for trains that are closing their doors. It never turns out well. Ever been the person who sprinted past grandma, knocked her down, and then missed the train? Yeah, well we have – and trust us, it’s a long 20 minutes until the next train.

Go with the flow: The best part about metro, all the station work. At any given point, your train might stop, for minutes at a time. And if you’re on a train that stops, don’t worry about anxiously awaiting some announcement. It’ll happen, but you won’t be able to understand it.

And remember, DC Metro opens doors. Sporadically, but they open.

Enjoy your trip.

PREVIOUS: Young Washingtonians Guide to DC

Tip #1 Housing Options [Living beyond the youth hostels]
Tip #2 Finding the perfect watering hole

Hyper Hill

Will Charles Barkley Be in a Casino Before 08-09 Season? [bodog]
The Best Place for a Jumbo Slice in DC [Adams Morgan]
Break-Ups Are Always Tough [Borders & Amazon]
New Doors Movie Coming [anti-Oliver Stone]
Jail for Sale [inmates not included]

Famously Wanted

Here’s today’s Craigslist DC want ad of the day.

“Hello, I am looking for turtle shells . If you are out hiking or just happen to come across any please pick them up. I will buy them from you . I do not want live turtles, to take them out of there habitat would be cruel .I am just looking for shells from turtles that have died naturally.Sometimes I have found them in train tracks,they get stuck not run over just stuck and die.Sad. So if you find any please contact me.”

Any chance Jim Traficant has internet access?

Famously Quoteworthy

Is McClellan, gellin‘? He’s certainly all the rage these days.

“I hope they paid him a lot of money because after his few minutes are up he will be a ghost in Republican circles.”

-Todd Boulanger of Cassidy and Associates commenting on Scott McClellan’s new book, “What Happened” (MSNBC, May 28, 2008).

How To Spot a DC Douche Bag

If there was ever any question on how best to spot a douche bag roaming the streets of DC, this blog might just have the answers you’re looking for.

From Douche in DC: Unfortunately for our generation, the term “Douche” has largely lost the intense sting it once possessed. Thrown around so frequently when referring to Frat Boys, homeschoolers, and Yankees Fans, when engaging in our anthropological search for Douches, there must be a common definition for spotting and observing such a class of douche. It is for this reason that we define a Douche, and explain exactly how to spot one.

Our personal favorite way to spot a DC Douche:

Just south of the belt is the quintessential foot gear of the DC Douche, the boat shoe. Nowhere near a boat, the DC Douche prefers to wear Sperry’s or the equivalent as often as humanly possible. The point of the shoe is yet unknown, but it brings the douche to the table. Also necessary in high-speed boating adventures and with no place in the mean streets of DC are the trendy RayBan sunglasses with wind proof hold-it-on-your-head straps. Are you riding a motorcycle? No. Then you won’t lose your shades riding on the metro, so get a life.

The only sure bet: This site will most likely and single handedly offended 85% of the folks who read it. For that, we say, good work.

And here’s to hoping the exposures of doucheness, who pen this blog, don’t fall victim of douche baggery themselves – and stop posting good content.

After all, we haven’t had our fix in a while.

Famously Wanted

Here’s today’s Craigslist DC want ad of the day.

I have a Greasecar that runs on used veggie oil. I have a large trip coming up and I am trying to gather 150 gallons so if you have any you used for frying or whatever that you do not need let me know. I can pickup from anywhere in the area. I will gladly clean out a restaurant’s old oil as well. I can filter myself.

Probably not posted by a member of the GOP.

Hyper Hill

I’ll make him a wardrobe suggestion he can’t refuse [Soprano]
John Denver Karaoke Sparks Thai Killing Spree [wait, what?]
JC Watts Launching Black News Network [Calderone]
Buying Votes Ain’t What It Used to Be [Gimmickery]
Nationals Want You to Stay at Work [DCist]

Tip #2 Finding the perfect watering hole

Some would argue that this is one of the only leisure activities a young Hill staffer can both afford and enjoy. Your drinking time is important and how you approach your drinking will make all the difference in the size of your wallet and the smoke screen that is your social image.

So finding cheap booze is essential, but how is that accomplished?

Any broke staffer needs a good drink and a reliable plan. As much as your friends are going to want to go from bar to bar, mistakenly avoiding good specials, don’t fall into that trap. Going from Dupont to Georgetown may sound fun and exciting, but it’s expensive and stupid, unless you have a plan.

Because you make a little more than minimum wage, but less than most circus performers, don’t leave the house without a good road map for boozing.

Now get to planning.

PREVIOUS: Young Washingtonians Guide to DC

#1 Housing Options [Living beyond the youth hostels]

How not to make friends, by Scott McClellan

Clinton staffer caught playing hide the “Weiner”

According to Page Six, Rep. Tony Weiner loves Hillary’s “body” woman.

“REP. Anthony Weiner had a reason for accompanying Hillary Clinton to Puerto Rico over the weekend besides currying the Latino vote for a mayoral run and besides his abiding loyalty to the hapless presidential candidate: his romance with Huma Abedin, Hillary’s “body woman,” who is always at her side anticipating her needs. Asked by the AP what he was doing in Puerto Rico, Weiner admitted: “I’m doing a lot, but it’s largely because I’m dating Huma.” Page Six has reported on their furtive meetings and intimate dinners for several months.”

Buying votes, one gallon at a time

Attention PR and campaign experts: Do not attempt to replicate this gimmick when gas prices are at $4.00 a gallon.

An attention-grabbing stunt by a top Democratic recruit intended to highlight the high price of gasoline instead turned into a public relations embarrassment for the campaign.
…

Business consultant Dan Seals, the Democrat challenging Rep. Mark Kirk (R-Ill.), held an event last week at a suburban Chicago service station where his campaign subsidized the price of gas to the same $1.85 level as it was before Kirk was elected in 2000.
…

What the campaign didn’t fully anticipate was the nearly two-mile long stretch of traffic created by the stunt, which hamstrung the local police force.

What’s even worse for the Seals campaign – they had to cut off the gimmick at 50 cars, leaving plenty of pissed off drivers in miles of traffic with empty tanks.

And if that’s not bad enough, the local police station slapped the campaign with an additional $2,200 tab for their services rendered during the entire debacle.

Finally, the Politico points out that this isn’t the first time a candidate for Congress has attempted one of these pump stunts. Last cycle, when the Democrats were in the minority, these gimmicks were used all around the country- so it’s refreshing to know that they’re still able to use them now that they’re in charge.

Here’s a catchy headline

Via RedState.

“When You Suck At Your Job, Quit And Write A Book Ripping Your Old Boss Who Stuck With You”

Tell us how you really feel, Mr. Haystack.

Another Reason to Love Some Chris Coooooooley

Chris Cooley had his groomsmen play Guitar Hero before he exchanged his wedding vows. He should write a book.

WaPo: An Extra Hitch in a Wedding Day Game Plan

Chris Cooley and Christy Oglevee’s wedding Friday started off with one of those awkward delays — you know, where people start wondering if it’s one of those left-at-the-altar situations. The groom finally appeared to explain to the 200 guests at Lansdowne Resort that the minister was running late: “Everything’s still on,” Cooley reassured them. “Everything’s okay.” Soon afterward, the Redskins tight end, 25, and former Redskins cheerleader, 23, exchanged vows.
…
Captain Chaos spent most of the day pacing, reports best man Tanner Cooley, while the groomsmen played Guitar Hero and backyard football — but once Cooley slipped on his white suit and pink tie (matching the bouquet and bridesmaids’ dresses) everything went almost as planned: first dance to Bryan Adams’s“Heaven,” sung by the bride’s father, Scott Oglevee, the wedding cake a four-tier pink confection, tons of dancing and late-late-night karaoke.

Young Washingtonians Guide to DC

Are you a recent college-grad, intern, or procrastinating Capitol Hill staffer who hasn’t quite pulled it together? Well, if so, we’ve got some well-guided advice that might just help you out.

The editors here at FamousDC have begun to compile a list of tips and best practices for aspiring young politicos.

Throughout the summer we will release tips on how to live life in the District, until we reach a comprehensive list or run out of ideas, which ever comes first. [as always, your suggestions are welcomed at Tips@FamousDC.com]

From balling on a budget in Georgetown, to living life on the phones as a staff ass, FamousDC will share advice to help you navigate the Nation’s Capital.

Now get out there and make some bad decisions.

#1 Housing Options [Living beyond the youth hostels]

You’ve landed a job or internship, but now you need a place to lay your head. Unless you’re rolling into DC on the heels of a trust fund or financially eager parents, you’re going to have to temper your penthouse expectations. The cost of living in this city is beyond sobering.

Remember, you’re under 30 and working in the Nation’s Capital. That means your budget is limited and housing choices are going to reflect that- and more than likely you’re going to have to live with other Hill rats in a cramped Brownstone that was built a moment or two after dinosaurs roamed the earth.

Rent will likely be upwards of $600 a month, plus your portion of the bills, which can be insane, even when divided by four- depending on whether or not drunk roommates shut doors, turn of air-conditioning units and limit showers to less than 45 minutes. [*Unless you want to sell a pint or two of blood each month to pay for bills, try to pick roommates that don't suck.]

If you’re adventurous, and want leave the frat house living to ill-informed co-workers, there’s a chance you’ll find a decently priced high-rise apartment building in Virginia or Maryland. While these places tend to be little nicer than the turn of the century museums on Capitol Hill, they do require longer commutes that will grow old within moments of starting your job. [insert gas prices, so choose carefully]

Our suggestion: Explore Craigslist when looking for a place to live. Once you sift through the bizarre posts that will likely creep you out, you’re apt find postings from real people, looking for normal roommates.

Note: If you go to meet potential roommates, make sure the rendezvous spot is well lit and heavily trafficked. We’re only trying to help.

And speaking of house-mates, we offer this advice: There are many ways to ruin good friendships, one of which is to put four women in a house and call them “roommates.” Our recommendation to the ladies, sprinkle in a dude somewhere in the mix and ignore what your father might have said about living with the opposite sex – trust us, you’ll need a referee who’s willing to take out garbage and carry your drunk asses up the stairs.

If you follow this advice, you’ll spare yourself the hassle of walked leases and the sport of transferring utilities every few months.

Good luck, campers.

Hyper Hill

Making vroom for the President [Rolling Thunder]
Evolution of a Congressman [Weekly Standard]
Vince Young Considered Retirement [One Year]
WaPo 2008 Intern Guide [Happy Hour]
It Is Always About the Food [JoMa]
Extra Order of Fries [RIP]

After a four year head start, Republican nerds finally join the race

A group of tech-savvy, right-leaning politicos have launched an online movement that hopes to compete with websites such as MyDD, Open-Left and Daily Kos.

Co-founded by Patrick Ruffini, Soren Dayton and Jon Henke, the Next Right, is a blog-style platform that hopes to offer fall-behind Republicans advice as to how to catch up to the “left” online.

According to Ruffini: This site is the product of literally hundreds of offline conversations with some of the brightest young minds in the conservative movement. It grows out of a recognition that the road back can’t be about a series of disjointed technologies, blogs, and pundits. It begins with telling a story about why we should lead. With advancing majoritarian ideas with real buy-in from the grassroots, not diktats from Washington policy shops. With revitalizing the Republican Party with real participation from the bottom up. The right needed a place online where these discussions could flourish, where a narrative about revitalizing the movement could congeal, and where smart new voices could assert a leadership role in a party at a crossroads. We hope The Next Right can be a small part of this ongoing dialogue.

The only mystery thus far: Why did their friends at Daily Kos not make their blog roll – perhaps a technical oversight?

Kurtz – We Get the Media We Deserve

If you read one article today, check out this one … and then go back to FacebookYouTubeGmailCraigslist.
Howard Kurtz: Post Buyouts Come With an Emotional Cost

Let’s not bury the lead: This is a rough time for the newspaper business, a rough time for The Washington Post and a rough time for me.

Who does Kurtz blame? Those darned kids!!

The ticking time bomb here is the wholesale abandonment of newspapers by younger people who grew up with a point-and-click mentality. When I was speaking at Harvard recently, a smug graduate student said, “I get everything I need from YouTube. What are you going to do about it?”
…
“What are you going to do about it?” I shot back. If people want to tune out the news, no one can compel them to change their habits. We can be smarter, faster and jazzier in providing information, but we can’t force-feed the stuff. If newspapers wither and die, it will be in part because the next generation blew us off in favor of Xbox and Wii and full-length movies on their iPods. Network news faces the same erosion. Maybe, in the end, we get the media we deserve.

Famously Wanted

Here’s today’s Craigslist DC want ad of the day.

Odd request, but I just need a safe sane man who can lift a medium sized microwave and carry it from my highrise apartment to my car in the parking lot. I don’t have money to pay you for your assistance. Is there any safe, sane man who has a few minutes on his hands to do a little kind work? Please have evening or weekend availability.

Ron Paul has unfortunately been disqualified.

PS: If you’re asking for help and willing pay zero dollars, we’d suggest you be a little more flexible on your times.

I Went to Dewey and All I Got Was This Front Page Story

Yes folks, even the Washington Post can still tie one on.

WaPo reporter Megan Greenwell covered the “tamer” side of Dewey Beach and her story ended up on page A-1 of the Monday edition.

Megan Greenwell: To Entice Families, Dewey Markets a Tamer Side

DEWEY BEACH, Del. — As mid-Atlantic beach towns go, Dewey Beach is a bit like the cool guy in school — the one with the motorcycle and the tattoos. He’s fun, he’s wild and you could never bring him home to Mom.
…
But now, Dewey insists it’s all a big misunderstanding. Sure, he says, he has a checkered past, but he’s a changed man, and he deserves more respect.
…
Starting this season, Dewey has launched an ambitious, unprecedented marketing campaign to convince families that they are the town’s most important customers. The effort to prioritize tetherball over tequila shots and bonfires over beer could represent a major shift for the town that has always been defined primarily by its oldest bars.

Reporters have such a cool gig. We’d love to see the expense reports behind this story.

If you read the entire article, you’ll get this kicker towards the end:

Montgomery, who performed odd jobs on the beach as a child and began working at the Starboard 22 years ago, said he loves Dewey’s spirit during the summer, but he is concerned that the town’s party reputation is alienating some of its most loyal patrons. He frequently encounters married couples who met in Dewey group houses — a list that includes U.S. Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. — who want to return to town with their families.

Chief Justice smashing at Dewey. Solid.

Note: His Extremeness also reports about the re-branding here.

Hyper Hill

It’s My Party and I’ll Bail if I Want To [Robin Wright]
Buy a Car and Get FREE Guns or Gas [Missouri]
Southern Style Chicken Sandwich [Hungry JoMa]
The Gratitude Campaign [Thank You]
Bobby Jindal for Veep [Norquist]
Overheard in D.C. [DCist]
Is Obama Muslim? [No]

Mary Katharine Ham Moving to Washington Examiner

MKH tells us she is leaving Townhall and heading to dcexaminer.com:

Hey, everyone. I hate to break news on a Friday afternoon (I’m becoming such a politician!), but such is what the timing required.
…
I’m leaving the great, great folks at Townhall.com and Salem after almost three years for a job at The Washington Examiner, as online editor of the soon-to-launch dcexaminer.com.

FDC hopes Katie Favazza carries the Townhall torch and dcexaminer.com doesn’t have as many annoying pop-ups.

Classic MKH vids:
Olbermann names her as “worst person”
HamNation: Sopranos DC Edition

Memorial Day

In observance of Memorial Day, please take a minute and watch this short movie from the The Gratitude Campaign

The Gratitude Campaign Story:

For the past several years as I’ve been traveling around the country, I’ve been approaching Soldiers in airports and thanking them for serving for us. On several occasions I have noticed that it felt a little awkward for both of us. There are several reasons, some of which I am even just now learning as I produce this film and talk to more Service Men & Women and Veterans. But they have always appreciated being thanked, and I have always felt better having expressed my gratitude.

 

I started to think that it would be nice if civilians had a gesture or sign that they could use to say “thank you” quickly and easily without even having to approach. I did some research and found the sign that we are now using.

 

Is this limited to the military? Not at all. If you look around you I’m sure that you’ll find lots of people who are serving their communities, from local to global. If you appreciate their service, give them a sign. Say “thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

 

-Scott Truitt, FOUNDER, The Gratitude Campaign

Hyper Hill

I’ll take “Not Missing One Question” for a Thousand, Alex. [Akshay Rajagopal]
2007 Crimes in Washington, D.C. [animated]
The 1211 Sixth Avenue Journal? [Rupert]
Pelosi’s Potty Mouth [Jim Mills]
Softball is HOT! [Jennie Finch]
Twitter is for Real [20 million]

Romney is Totally Not Going to Sign the Bid

Romney Downplays McCain’s Rush Weekend BBQ

MR. HUNT: Let’s talk about current politics for a minute. You and Govs. Crist and Jindal are going to spend the weekend with John McCain in Arizona. Some say it’s a vice presidential tryout; what are specific strengths that John McCain should look for in a running mate right now?
…
MR. ROMNEY: You know, he, of course, is going to look for someone who has the capacity to be the next president, if that were necessary. And that’s the key qualification. I don’t think there’s much likelihood that I’m on that list, to tell you the truth.

Hyper Hill

10 Coaches Who Would Be Excellent CEOs [no Bobby Knight?]
Rethink What it Means to Be Green [Inconvenient Truths]
What Liberal Media? [CNN hosts Obama rally]
Dang – Is Everyone on Twitter? [fishbowlDC]
Market Forces at Work [h/t Last Call]
Broken Windgate [Russert]

Its the First of the Month

O’Connor: House to observe moment of silence

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) honored the request of a North Carolina Republican this week by calling for a moment of silence on the first legislative day of each month to commemorate military personnel who have been killed or injured in Iraq or Afghanistan.
…
The speaker sent Rep. Walter Jones a letter on Thursday notifying him that the House will now stand in silence at the beginning of each month starting in June, when members return from the week-long Memorial Day recess. “Your idea is an excellent one and I plan to honor it when Congress returns,” Pelosi wrote.

I’m Not a Player, I Just Crush A Lot

Ben Pershing’s Player of the Week: The Anonymous Army on Capitol Hill

Flip on C-SPAN late at night, and you may well see a lawmaker giving a lengthy and impassioned speech to a largely empty House chamber. But while the room may look deserted, off-camera and behind the scenes there are dozens of aides keeping the place running.
…
Congress works largely because an anonymous army of clerks, parliamentarians, doorkeepers, cops and even janitors toil away — sometimes late at night, sometimes on weekends or holidays — to make sure things go smoothly. Unfortunately, the only times those people do get public attention is when things don’t go smoothly, as was the case this week on the $307 billion Farm Bill.

FDC applauds Mr. Pershing for digging a little deeper to shine some light on the staffers burrowed in the Dome.

Ben also highlights the three previous biggest “clerical errors” from the past ten years:

May 2001- Budget Conference Report
August 2005 – Highway Bill
February 2006 – Deficit Reduction Act

Hyper Hill

Ben Pershing Hates Meetings [Brain Storm]
Vice President Rush Weekend [Barbeque]
What Liberal Media? [Linda Douglass]
What Do Schedulers Do All Day? [cake]
Signs Your Suit Doesn’t Fit [Tailor]

Famous Five [Beach Reads]

No trip to Dewey is complete without a carton of smokes, bottle of booze, SPF 15 and a good book for the beach.

Before you head out for the sun and surf this year, be sure to grab one of these books for your trip.

Thank You for Smoking
Christopher Buckley

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em. An inside look at one of Washington’s most sexy industries, Big Tobacco.

Words That Work: It’s Not What You Say, It’s What People Hear
Frank Luntz

Granted, he’s a bit socially awkward, but he knows how to assess any political environment.

Crashing the Gate: Netroots, Grassroots, and the Rise of People-Powered Politics
Jerome Armstrong and Markos Moulitsas

These two guys wrote the book in their 20’s and we’re still in the infant stage of wired politics. Plus, you get tons of street cred if you drop at a DC dinner party that you’ve read this.

Charlie Wilson’s War
George Crile

Congress, cocaine, strippers, jihads, lobbyists, and war. What else do you need?

The Thumpin’: How Rahm Emanuel and the Democrats Learned to be Ruthless and Ended the Republican Revolution
Naftali Bendavid

R or D, you should read this book. The pendulum was swinging back and Rahm was at the wheel. But, does he take too much credit or is this the first wave?

Cooley Will Hear About This in the Locker Room

WaPo: Chris Cooley, Tackled by True Love

Captain Chaos is settling down! Redskins tight end Chris Cooley will marry former Redskins cheerleader Christy Oglevee tonight in Loudoun County.
…
“I’m crazy about her,” Cooley, 25, told us yesterday. “She’s the most influential person in my life. We’re extremely good friends as well as in love.”

Chris, we’ll always love you, but why did you let her dress you for this photo? You better start standing up now, or you’ll be wearing this crap for the rest of your life.

 

A Little Housekeeping…..

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Whether you’re heading to the water cooler, power lunching at the Cap Grille, or leaving the office early for Cantina Marina – we are your one-stop-shop for talking points.

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Hyper Hill

SECOND Best Way to Read Political News [alltop]
Many DC Cabs Won’t Have Meters [June 1]
NFL Ponders 17 Game Season [MORE!]
People Keep Their Word? [Politics]
One of Each, Please [Beer Belly]

Famously Wanted

Here’s today’s ad of the day via Craigslist DC.

Wanted: Need two guys and a truck to help me move…

Vito, is that you?

Bill Clinton’s obsession with the Lincoln Bedroom

In what is soon to be dubbed “Bill Clinton’s failed attempt to become First Husband”- has apparently not slowed his attempt to get back to the White House, in whatever manner he can.

His latest strategy- prop up his daughter. [the next best thing]

Like an over-obsessed stage mother, he just can’t let the dream go.

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