Hillary vs. the coffee maker

Stuart Smalley owes a large amount of taxes

In case you hadn’t heard, former SNL funny man Al Franken is running for the Senate. And while you might find his candidacy legitimate, the IRS begs to differ.

And as only his Extremeness could point out, it’s “more like ironic foreshadowing.”

Finally, a dating site for ugly people

FDC readers, Robert Blaser has good news - of the pompous variety.

There has never been a better time to be a show off. Just last week I posted an item about a new magazine called Snob. And now, here we are with a special online dating service just for really, really smart people.

Apparently poor Robert isn’t quite smart enough for the site.  He failed the IQ test.

Better luck next time, Rob, perhaps you might give Sean Hannity’s latest adventure a try.

Rep. Louie Gohmert’s inescapable hiring theme

Unless you’re a female, who graduated from a school whose mascot is a spoiled collie, and you have a hell of a time walking in high-heeled shoes, you need not apply for a job with Texas Republican Louie Gohmert. [$ubscription]

Gohmert  just hired four new staffers - all of them female, three of them Texas A&M grads and two of them have trouble “skedaddling” down the halls of the Capitol without ending up on their rear-ends.

I’m sure UT fans are not surprised that the school trying to trick people into thinking beef brisket is healthy, can’t walk in heels.

Latest Links

Who you callin’ a pansy? [flower power]
Do you feel for Obama? [out to pastor]
Liberals are laughing at this [WTF?]
Roger Clemens sucks [there we said it]

From the Trail [4/30/08]

Barack Obama goes Blockbuster and starts selling DVDs [no late fee]

“On Monday of this week — timed, purposely or coincidentally, within mere hours of Rev. Wright’s speech to the National Press Club — the Obama campaign sent an email to supporters in which they offered, in exchange for a small donation, a “limited-edition DVD and print” of Mr. Obama’s March speech (entitled “A More Perfect Union”) addressing Rev. Wright, Trinity Church, and race in America.”

McCain goes live with his Healthcare Town Hall [riveting]

And Hillary wants you to “double down” [insurance please]

When “15 minutes of fame” isn’t quite enough

If you are as sick of superdelegate talk as I am, than you’ll really get a kick out of this post. 

“As President and Vice President of the College Democrats of America, Lauren Wolfe and Awais Khaleel are both superdelegates at the Democratic Convention in Denver. They are both undecided and want to know how college students feel they should vote! Contact them and let them know how you feel.” [CD YouTube page]

Below we have a video of two College Democrats begging for your help via a YouTube pitch.  The video itself is very clever, but begs the question, do they really want your help - or are they addicted to their 15 minutes of fame - and yearning for more?  You be the judge.

h/t Ambinder

PS: We’re going to email them later, since they claim to be more accessible than politicians - and ask them a few questions. We’ll let you know if they respond.

Do conservative chicks dig liberal dudes?

Blogger John Hawkins is back at it with the ladies.  Don’t miss out.

The DOT is blogging their assphalt off

The Department of Transportation, you know, the group in charge of your two-hour commute - has just launched a new blog - appropriately called, the “Fastlane.” [I get it]

It’s only fitting, that Sec. Peters, who recently brought sexy back with the opening of the DOT’s brand new building - has finally embraced the ”information super-highway”- albeit, probably reluctantly, thanks to a few eager staffers who convinced her to do so.

Kudos to Secretary Peters and here’s to hoping your new blog gives you a little more “street cred” with the rest of the blogging universe.

BREAKING: RNC in lock-down due to little Rascals

According to a tipster, the RNC building is under lock-down right now because of protestors outside their building.  Apparently the protesters are cruising around in these.

Latest Links

American Airlines to Charge for Second Bag [communism]
Stolen Vote Committee Gets Another $150K [shame!]
Pam Anderson Bakes Good Bread [oddly enough]
After the Correspondents’ Dinner [get the boobs]
Applying the Long Tail to Air Travel [DayJet]
10 Years of Voodoo Fest [New Orleans]
Prince Covers Radio Head [Creep]

FDC Presents: The Photo-Op Awards

As you read this post, hundreds of cameras are going off right now - each one attempting to capture that perfect (or not so perfect) moment.

While Obama, Clinton and McCain crisscross the country, so do the cameras.  While they draw record crowds, hundreds of eager photographers chase them around, each hoping that their picture shows up on the front pages.

And while most of these photos will never get further than the memory card they’re stored on- it’s that small handful that do surface- that deserve recognition.   

On campaigns, it’s the job of the advance teams to make sure that each candidate’s Kodak moments turn out well - but rarely is that feat pulled off.

No one can predict the unexplainable shots, nor can an advance team prevent the Bay Watch moments.

If a picture is truly worth a thousand words, then do we have a treat for you.

At the expense of each candidate’s advance team - we present to you…

The Photo-Op Awards
[Click on each envelope to reveal the winner]

Do you see a theme brewing here?  Apparently these posters travel very well in a suitcase.
……
 
This advance team wants you to know that their candidate is the “main” event.  Notice the perfect spacing between the candidate and the other lettering in their name.
……
 
There’s really no excuse for this.  Unless your volunteers are illiterate, it doesn’t take a mental giant to hold a sign properly.  *Note: Notice the advance guy who swoops in and fixes the situation.
……

Apparently this rally was held during work hours, and this lady didn’t realize that her face would be plastered all over CNN. 
……

This advance team is definitely not hooked on phonics, not even close.”
……

This is exactly what happens when you don’t have an advance team.  You have junior high moments like this.
……

This should have been called the WTF award.  Apparently this campaign wanted to give a shout out to their corporate sponsors.  *Note the Abercrombie shirts - they’re not hard to spot.
……

There is nothing wrong with a little campaign-trail reach around.  Fortunately for the advance team, this one isn’t their fault.  Not even the best advance team can prevent the occasional grab-ass that some grown men tend to play.

The WaPo has a sense of humor

Look What You’ve Done, DeShawn Stevenson

After DeShawn Stevenson calls out LeBron James, the Wizards are down 3-1 the Cavs.

Gilbert Arenas tries to put lipstick on a pig, but this one is about over:

Game 5 Next
If we’re going to pull out this series, we’re going to need a miracle. We’re going to have to dig. We’re going to have to play big. Everyone is going to have to bring their A games. We can’t have no let downs now.

Dan Steinberg: DeShawn Calls Out LeBron Again, and Again:

Here are some people you don’t repeatedly call out: Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Kimbo Slice, LeBron James. But DeShawn never got that memo.

Not only did Deshawn miss the memo, but so did Brendan Haywood. He called LeBron a cry baby.

This is getting ridiculous. Game 5 is Wednesday.

UPDATE: The league fined Stevenson for throwing up the Jay-Z diamond before making a throat-slashing gesture.

Craig Ferguson does funny

CBS Late Night comedian Craig Ferguson entertained the 94th annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Event from Saturday, Apr. 26, 2008.

Shoot, Ready, Aim

Anxiety 101:  If you’re a reporter, and you have a story that might put fire to sleep - there are tricks that can be used in order to spice up your piece. [Journalistic integrity]

Each journalist uses different techniques - some fair, others not so much.  In the case of a Roll Call piece that ran today, we’ll let you decide if reporter John Stanton took “out of context” liberties in an attempt to spice his piece. [$ubscription]

From the Politico’s Huddle:

COORDINATED ATTACK: Roll Call’s John Stanton sees Republicans in the House and the Senate making some gains by synchronizing their messages on gas prices.
…

‘House Republican leaders kicked off the last week with the ‘Pelosi Premium’ message, seeking to link Speaker Nancy Pelosi (Calif.) and her fellow Democrats to spiking gas prices. Unlike many similar efforts cooked up by House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) and Minority Whip Roy Blunt (R-Mo.) that have gone unconnected to the Senate, the upper chamber’s GOP leadership jumped on board. . . .
…

Says Michael Steel, with a firearm metaphor he may live to regret: ‘Particularly in a presidential year, when it’s very hard to drive a message from Capitol Hill, we naturally improve our chances of the American people hearing us if we’re all rolling in the same direction … we do our best work when our guns are pointed in the same direction.’

If you’re a reporter looking to fill the inbox of the press flack interviewed in your story, the best way to accomplish that is to casually toss in an ellipsis right in the middle of that person’s quote.  Flacks love the ellipsis.  It always does them right.

Ellipsis (plural ellipses; from Greek ἔλλειψις ‘omission’) in printing and writing refers to a mark or series of marks that usually indicate an intentional omission of a word or a phrase from the original text.

It’ll be forever unclear as to what this Republican flack actually said, but that’s not important - Roll Call editors already got exactly what they wanted out of an otherwise boring story.  I’m sure they also got a cheerful phone call from Mr. Steel earlier this morning.

Latest Links

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NewEconomyPatents.org Launched [Tech Daily Dose]
McFadden Ready to Get on the Field [Raiders!]
Most Hilarious AP headline of the Day [Balls]
Seeking Larry Bird Voters [French Lick]
GILF Alert [Steelman]

A Little Housekeeping…

Thank you for stopping by FamousDC. Whether this is your first time to stop by or not, we encourage you to sign up for our daily email alerts.

Here at FDC, we cover the famous-for-DC intersection of politics, media and sports.

Whether you’re heading to the water cooler, power lunching at the Cap Grille, or leaving the office early for Cantina Marina - we are your one-stop-shop for talking points.

Because some of our best story ideas come from you - we always encourage our readers to send story ideas or tips- anytime of day.

Did the press secretary down the hall give an embarrassing quote on the record? Are truckers protesting gas prices by circling the Capitol and you have pics? Did you hear Sue Myrick give a tribute to Ric Flair on the House floor?  Do you have any more complaints about Nancy’s new kitchen?  Send tips, comments, suggestions, ideas, recipes and complaints to tips@famousdc.com. 

All tips are anonymous and stay that way.

Need your FamousDC fix on your blackberry? Sign up for our daily email summary. These talking points come out once a day, just before Happy Hour. And don’t worry- we hate spam, so you’ll only get what you sign up for.[Don’t be shy, trust us, it’s worth it]

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FamousDC - where the beltway gets talking points…for happy hour.

PS: Trust us- you can’t roll up to Bobby Van’s without your daily FDC talking points, so click here and sign up.

Another Capitol Truck Driver Protest

We hope you made it into work OK and missed all of the truckers. If today’s protest is anything like the last one, it may be a good day to break out those ear plugs at your desk.

Gas Prices Protest Could Jam Morning Rush
A group of truck drivers is planning to caravan past the White House and the Capitol before a rally to protest high gas prices.
…
The group Truckers and Citizens Unite says it has organized hundreds of truckers to participate in the event on Monday. The activities are expected to start about 9 a.m.
…
No street closures are planned, but the influx of trucks could cause traffic disruptions during the morning rush hour.
…
The truckers plan to drive past the Capitol and White House and then park at RFK Stadium. They’ll take a shuttle from the stadium back to the Capitol for a rally at 11 a.m.
…
The drivers plan to use major commuter routes for the procession, including South Capitol Street, Independence Avenue, 17th Street, Constitution Avenue, Massachusetts Avenue and East Capitol Street.

UPDATE:  With permission, we’ve included one anonymous Hill staffer’s rant on the protest situation going on and their appreciation for the incessant honking the truckers apparently are doing.

Email from FDC reader: They’re honking, because the populists have convinced them it is the Ivy Leaguer making 28k a year, hoping to make a small difference that is the cause of their fuel price problem. They’re honking because they chose to make their living from an industry which has historically been very susceptible to shifts in energy prices. They’re honking to interrupt another person’s work …because they feel like if by doing the speed limit in the left lane of our workday - somehow it will make a difference in theirs. They’re honking because they can’t drive to OPEC’s headquarters and bitch at them. They are cutting their nose off in order to spite their face, and I hate them for it.

I wonder if any of those new “green” vending machines on Cap Hill sell ear plugs or Prozac?

PS: OPEC is headquartered in Vienna, Austria, so that would actually involve less driving and more boating. 

Keep the emails coming! Tips@famousdc.com

Latest Links

National Press Club’s Monday Seminar, “Reporting from Facebook” [Tech Daily Dose]
Rock Acts Upstage Coachella Headliner Jack Johnson [Waiting, Playing the Fool]
Dolphins Formally Draft O-Tackle Jake Long [First Pick]
This is How We Lost to the White Man [Bill Cosby]
Congrats Ben Pershing! [Blissful]

FamousDC Prom Coverage

NY Post’s Page Six: Pamela Anderson wore a see-through top!

Pneumatic “Baywatch” babe Pam Anderson - a guest of Mayor Bloomberg - made a jaw-dropping entrance at the Willard Hotel with her revealing outfit. “[She wore] short shorts and a see-through top,” our spy said. “You could completely see her nipples! It was like she was in LA.”

His Extreme-ness loved him some Craig Ferguson and interviewed THE Charlie Wilson:

So it’s with rare excitement and thrill for the annual dinner that we proclaim last night’s Craig Ferguson performance to be the best comedy act we’ve ever seen in front of that crowd in the International Ballroom. A standing ovation. How delicious that the best comedy was delivered by someone who’s been an American citizen for only two months. Take that, Lou Dobbs!

 

Matt Lewis with Charlie Wilson and Martha Stewart

Ann Schroeder’s Quick Fix has pics of Ben Affleck and Ashlee Simpson

K-Lo wonders about Tim Daly

Marc Ambinder sneaks a few pics from the Haddad brunch

Pat Gavin has the results of the Haddad brunch Straw Poll:

PROM: Journos Pick Obama in 2008!
…
At Tammy Haddad’s Garden Brunch today, five hundred Washington insiders and Hollywood/New York notables said that Barack Obama is most likely to be the next president of the United States. Attendees were polled at the high-powered, pre-White House Correspondents Dinner brunch hosted by not only Haddad but Ted Greenberg, Hilary Rosen, Alex Castellanos, Debbie Dingell, David Adler, Kathyrn Leyman and Beth Viola as well.
…
37 percent chose John McCain and 21 percent chose Hillary Clinton.

Perez Hilton stayed sober by drinking water all night and hit up all of the festivities:

Mr. Perez Goes to Washington
…
Saturday night at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner was such an amazing night and a unique opportunity! Truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
…
Thanks to everyone at Bloomberg for inviting Perez, and thanks to D.C. for welcoming us with open arms.
…
We had the best time ever!

And get your geek on! Leslie Bradshaw Twittered the entire event

 

UPDATE: Anne Schroeder’s filed again - WHCAD Part 1

Saturday:
Florida Gov. Charlie Crist taking a photo with Morgan Fairchild. Unclear who asked whom.
…
“I know Harry very well. He’s a good guy.” — Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof about Harry Reid.“You have the ugliest hookers in the world in D.C.” — Hof, again.

Getting down on the streets of Baghdad

Latest Links

Live Updates of WHCAD via Twitter [Extreme Mortman]
Why Generation Y is Broke [can I borrow a dollar?]
Compromise Reached on the Farm Bill [yes!]
NFL Draft Weekend [don’t be nervous]

Latest Links

Worst idea of the year [virtual repo man]
Office Space Quiz [7 our of 10]
Unhappy LASIK patients Urge FDA Action [can you see me now?]
Sunday Show Lineup [Hotline]

“Hired guns” and butter

It’s the annual list every Capitol Hill staffer can’t wait to obtain.  The Hill’s annual list of the top “hired guns” on K St. 

While this list isn’t as critical as it has been in years past, thanks to new lobbying rules - don’t assume 100% of staffers follow those rules. [free lunch]

 Best in the business: Hired Guns

The Hill’s annual list of top lobbyists reflects the greater importance Democratic lobbyists play, while not forgetting the Republicans in town who maintain a major role in crafting legislation, particularly in the Senate, where voting margins are so close. Today’s list names the best “hired guns” and corporate lobbyists. To compile our list, we talked to key congressional aides and lobbyists themselves.
…
Josh Ackil and Matt Tanielian, Franklin Square Group. Highly regarded for their tech industry connections, former Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle (D-S.D.) aide Ackil and ex-Senate Judiciary Committee chief counsel Tanielian have started their own lobbying shop.

We thought about posting the entire list, but we realized they’re are 2,500 names.  Which includes just about every registered lobbyist in the city.  So congrats everybody.

See for yourself [Look mom, I’m important]

Latest Links

LOLcats: Now Hiring [Post I.T.]
Democratization of Selling Out [Spike Lee]
Lil Wayne hits No. 1 on singles chart [Lollipop]
What Can Wu Do for You? [super-delegate]
Rules for Washington Tourists [On the Ball]

Rules for Washington Tourists

He always does this.

Every year this is printed out and left on the Metro during May.

He’s done it again.

We can’t take credit, but it is WELL worth the read.

On the Ball:

Article G - If you commission a tour bus to bring you into the city at anytime, I hope you die a horrible death. Tour busses fit on our city streets like fat people fit in airplanes… always in their lane, but spilling over into yours. This city was not made to have your senior citizen, diaper wearing ass trucked around in a bus.
…

PUNISHMENT FOR VIOLATION : We get your name and address from the tour bus companies and have every single political party ever known send you daily direct mail. And occasionally audit you. [read the whole thing]

Rules for Washington Tourists

We’re On the Ball

Since it’s spring and soon it will be summer, I figured I’d put together a little guide for tourists coming to the area. This should serve as a document of direction to help all of you get along while you are in DC visiting us.

Let it also be noted that we know you are a cheap son of a bitch… everything in DC is FREE. We don’t get one dime from your visit, just a lot of headaches. Just Remember that when you are fucking up my day this spring.

Without further commentary…

Section I – Curfew

Article A – You are to never under any circumstances to leave your hotel and travel anywhere in or near the city before 9:30 a.m. This is what we call “rush hour,” it’s a little party where everybody wears a suit and brings their middle finger to share, and you’re not invited. There is no reason for you to be in the city before this time, you can not park anywhere until after 9 anyhow. And don’t try to subvert this rule and leave at six in the morning. There is still no parking on the street (and we know you’re too cheap to pay for a garage).

And yes, even walking around in the city at 9 a.m. is unacceptable. Why, you ask? The one traffic light in your hometown has not prepared you to cross intersections using the flashing hand and “walk” sign properly.

PUNISHMENT FOR VIOLATION : More than likely you’ll be hit by a bike messenger for crossing at the wrong time, although city buses have been known to whack a few tourists.

Article B – You are to be off of the streets from 11:30 a.m. until 1:30 p.m. You walk way too slow while others of us, who aren’t on vacation, have places to go. Please find a museum or monument to hide in for this period of time. It is also acceptable to be on Capitol Hill bothering your elected representatives at this time. Even if you wanted to eat at this time you could not eat at 95% of the “sit down” places in DC, they require a reservation. Don’t go to subway either, union workers love this place and will stick a bull horn up your ass if you can’t decide whether you want a vegi delight or a meatball sub.

PUNISHMENT FOR VIOLATION : Nothing really except maybe getting yelled at by busy people for walking too slowly, or you might go hungry.

Article C – Your are to be back at your hotel by 4:30 p.m. This starts the second part of our daily “rush hour” party. Under no circumstances should you even attempt to travel by any means when 1.2 million people are on the move. The fact that you know three alternate routes to the Cracker Barrel in your hometown of Florence, Alabama does in no way prepare you for the kind of carnage that 5 p.m. traffic brings in a big city. Many people who have lived in DC for ten years still will not attempt to drive in traffic, and neither should you. Your Winnebago and your chain smoking wife are not the best tools for downtown DC rush hour traffic. Go to the hotel and take a nap.

PUNISHMENT FOR VIOLATION : Your children will hear language and see gestures directed at you that they will surely use on the very first day of school when they return home… warranting a visit from Child Protective Services.

Section II – Behavior in Public

Article A – Do not talk to people on the metro (metro is short for metro rail or subway). If you are traveling in accordance to both Article A and C in Section I, then you should have not problem following this rule since there will only be other tourists on the train. If you are in violation of the aforementioned articles you will make an entire train of people uncomfortable. When a person, such as I, is traveling in a crowded metro car I want to quietly read my paper and periodically look about to make sure nobody knows I’m the one passing gas. I do not wish to speak to you. If you catch me passing gas, the proper thing to do is scowl quietly at me. Do not alert other passengers to my breach of proper manners. Only crazy people like my mother talk on trains. Your goal is to not be considered crazy.

PUNISHMENT FOR VIOLATION : Very dirty looks, or a long drawn out conversation where a well dressed bag lady will tell you about her personal hygiene problems.

Article B – Never talk to DC police. They don’t give directions, tickets or a shit about your problems. Nobody in DC knows what they do besides drive around with their very loud sirens on. If you talk to one of these cops you are liable to make them drive around with their sirens on for hours, for no reason.

In two parts of the city there are people dressed in black and yellow who work for the “Golden Triangle” or “Federal Triangle.” These organizations have people standing on corners who are there to help you find things… most of these people can only help you find crack, and they’ve been known make sexually suggestive gestures towards girls under the age of 15. In fact, that’s all they do. Do not ask anybody in a suit for directions. They know, but don’t care to tell you, because they are busy. This city is designed for you to wonder aimlessly around in, so go with the mood and leave people alone.

PUNISHMENT FOR VIOLATION : Just wait until you hear the sirens.

Article C – You are never ever permitted to ride a metro-bus. Their routes are not designed to be understood by the common man, and the bus drivers will not tell you where they are going. They will ask you were you want to go and spout something off to the effect of “you all turned up wrong, you gots to snap up the S3 at Sherman park over at C street and catch yourself T12 or a T91 west down too gitchy town and if you get there early enough you hitch a C9 across town.” Then you are left to ask people riding the bus questions, which violates Article B all together. Do not get on the bus! They don’t make change either!

PUNISHMENT FOR VIOLATION : you’ll find out… please send us a post card from “the other side.”

Article D – Bums are not to be engaged in any manner at any time, anywhere. There are many bums in DC and they are here because they know you have money to spare since you don’t have to pay for any of the attractions here. You must realize that when you give them change you are effectively making them the second most profitable business you’ll patronize your whole trip to DC (we’ll get to the first most profitable business in Article E). When you give them money, they stay. If you ignore them, they go to Los Angeles. Let’s work on sending them on their way. When you give them money in certain areas, they stay there and they pee there. I have to smell this, and all this is your fault.

Do not stare at bums, this just pisses them off and makes them louder. Do not talk to bums, which would violate Article B of Section II. Don’t let your kids point a bums, this really drives them crazy. And yes, they shit in that bucket; you might want to get it off of your son’s head.

PUNISHMENT FOR VIOLATION : You will not go to heaven.

Article E – Do not buy anything from the little trailers that line the street around our White House and other historic beautiful areas. If you are not familiar with what I’m talking about these are little trailers, or street vendors, who move in early in the morning and out during rush hour (see Section I Article C). They sell everything from hot dogs and ice cream to cheap shirts that say “FBI.” There is no reason for you to ever patronize these places. They are rip offs, unsightly for those of us who live here and the sole reason for slave labor in foreign countries (they sell cheap plastic crap from Asia). If we all band together in a boycott, they’ll leave and go back to New York where they belong. Plus, if you are eating lunch at one of the stands, that means your are violating Article B of Section I.

PUNISHMENT FOR VIOLATION : Possible food poisoning from the hot dogs or a horrible rash from the cheap t-shirts, not to mention the feeling of being ripped off because your kid is a whiney fat ass who demands you buy him everything he sees.

Article F – Dress appropriately. You are on vacation, but not in the Bahamas. Put the “daisy duke” jean shorts and tube top away. For some reason you people feel the need to really dress down when the world really wants you to wear a mumu. Foreign leaders roam the streets aimlessly in motorcades and we don’t want them thinking that Bill Clinton’s family has moved to town. If you aren’t dressed appropriately you will not be able to get into any restaurants in DC. The weather sucks here 85% of the time so bring clothes to reflect that fact.

PUNISHMENT FOR VIOLATION : Nothing really, just people gawking at your ugly rose tattoo.

Article G – If you commission a tour bus to bring you into the city at anytime, I hope you die a horrible death. Tour busses fit on our city streets like fat people fit in airplanes… always in their lane, but spilling over into yours. This city was not made to have your senior citizen, diaper wearing ass trucked around in a bus.

PUNISHMENT FOR VIOLATION : We get your name and address from the tour bus companies and have every single political party ever known send you daily direct mail. And occasionally audit you.

In closing… please remember that we don’t come to your hometown while you are working and screw up your day, so please don’t screw up ours.

Only in name [caption contest]

The editors here at FDC can see how these two are often mistaken for each other. [h/t FDC reader]

Take a crack at a caption in the comment section.

PS: Congrats to the press flacks at both camps for pitching such a great story.

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Stephanopoulos’ Love Lemonade [fishbowlDC]

Capitol Hill’s jock itch returns

Tighten up your jockstraps FDC readers and hold on for the latest update from Capitol Hill’s biggest jock jerk… [$ subscription]

You might remember, Jock Friedly from here, or here - yeah, he’s the neighborhood bully who might be more liked if he wasn’t so damn arrogant.

Well, it seems as if Jock Itch has made his way back into the news.  After numerous complaints from House Staffers [who happen to read FDC], the House admin folks have decided to flip the cost on cleaning up the personal information pertaining to House employees that appeared on LegiStorm.

Personal signatures and home addresses have been removed from Member and House staff financial-disclosure forms posted on the Web site LegiStorm - with the House picking up the tab to make the changes.
…
LegiStorm on Friday wrapped up its effort to redact addresses and signatures from the disclosures, which are posted as PDF files on the Web site, said founder Jock Friedly.
…
The project cost about $3,100 to complete and was paid for by the House, which requested the changes, Friedly said.

As for the identity theft victims still left on the Senate side - well, not so lucky.

Signatures and home addresses for Senate staffers remain on the Web site, however, because complaints about the information from the Senate side have been minimal, Friedly said.

And more …

“We had one complaint that I can remember from a Senate staffer,” Friedly said. “There may have been another one or two. There certainly wasn’t the level of outrage in the Senate as in the House.”

I bet that complaint rate goes up pretty soon, Jock.

DCCC plays dress up with their interns

Always willing to push the limit, the DCCC is up to their dirty tricks again.  Yesterday, their Hair and Make-Up Department decided it was time to trot out one of their poor interns, dress them up as former power-lobbyist Jack Abramoff, and see if they could land a few earned-media hits.  

It worked.

Marking the one-year anniversary of when he came under FBI scrutiny, the DCCC recruited a Jack Abramoff-look-alike to deliver a gift — a package of golf balls– to Rep. Tom Feeney’s (R-FL) office to mark the occasion (h/t Wake-Up Call!)

Time will only tell as to whether the NRCC has plans to dress their intern up as a Maytag repair man in order to check up on Rep. William Jefferson’s freezer or perhaps they’ll go sheik and pop in on Porkmaster Jack Murtha.

The DCCC impersonator, who looks exactly like Abramoff,  is pictured below [career-ending picture]

Talks of a McCantor ticket go viral

While everybody else sits around and plays the VP name game - we figured it was our turn to take a crack at it.

Some ‘number twos’ floated make sense, some ridiculous - while others, completely suspect.  [As in, did someone pitch their boss’s name to a reporter who owed them a favor, just to raise their profile?]

Then there are your typical names - such as senators, governors, cabinet secretaries and … your not so typical names, like Cooter, Billy Joe Bob and Earnest the dog catcher.

Regardless, it’s a fun game - and even more fun for all those staffers who immediately begin to day dream about the White House as soon as their boss’s name is tossed out.

One name recently floated by JoMa, which comes as little surprise to those who know of him, is Virginia Republican Eric Cantor.  Cantor, a member of the “powerful” House Ways and Means Committee, brings a lot of experience to the table - especially economic issues that many believe McCain lacks.

The young Virginia member would be the first Jewish nominee on a national Republican ticket. [An interesting fact on its own]
 
But why not dismiss his candidacy like the rest of the 30 names already floated?  Because of one interesting point we found while searching the wild wild web. Apparently, Cantor’s web guru and well-respected in-house new media expert just left his boss’s office to take a job at none other than, the McCain campaign.

Matt Lira, who had fought to bring Cantor’s online presence out of the 20^th century, has worked over a year on his boss’s national name ID and built a very impressive email list.

But just when it seemed Cantor needed him most - at a time when online fundraising would have been critical to Cantor’s success [He serves as NRCC Finance Chairman] - the Virginia Congressman blessed the move, and let one of his most critical employees move to the McCain campaign.

Coincidence?   Perhaps -but we shall see.

UPDATE: Somebody has already cranked out some pretty ugly McCantor bumper stickers.  [Is Cantor looking at McCain’s bald spot?]

UPDATE: Not the only race Cantor staff is talking about [Cantor Aide Jumps Into Local Race - paid]

Latest Links

The News Mausoleum [John Podhoertz]
Pandering 101 [Protect Bloggers]
Top 10 Shirts to Get Arrested In [I am the Law!]
More Craigslist Critiques [On the Ball]

Pelosi bored with press corp, invites kids instead

Let’s see what the Pelosi press team has cooked up now…

*** Media Advisory ***
…
Pelosi to Hold Weekly Press Conference Tomorrow, Celebrate Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day
…
Washington, D.C. To celebrate Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day, Speaker Nancy Pelosi is inviting members of the Capitol Hill press corps and staff to bring their children to her regular weekly press conference tomorrow, Thursday, April 24. Following the regular Q&A, the Speaker will take a few questions from the children.

First of all, if reporters really do have children, would they actually admit it?  And what’s the ruling on whether or not illegitimate children can participate? What if someone brings in their “children” in the form of 13 cats?

And let’s be honest, Nancy … will the children really be allowed to ask questions? What would you ask if your 8 years-old and talking with the Speaker of the House?  Would your question have anything do with the fact that Mommy and Daddy no longer take you to Chuck E. Cheese because they’re always complaining that it costs $25 in gas to get there?

What’s next, Nancy… nap time and finger painting?

We can only hope this made for TV train wreck is televised.

Red vs. Blue and GREEN all over

It’s a given that money follows power in Washington. So I’m not exactly sure why this Politico piece is major news either.  [insert Bresnahan reaching]

Though Nick Calio, the first White House legislative affairs director under Bush, has given more than $20,000 to Republicans so far this cycle, he has also cut a $200 check to the short-lived presidential campaign of Sen. Chris Dodd (D-Conn.), who also happens to be the chairman of the Senate Banking, Housing and Urban Affairs Committee. A $200 contribution is the minimum that would require Dodd to report Calio’s name on his donor list. Calio, who also worked in the administration of former President George H.W. Bush, is now senior vice president for global affairs at banking giant Citigroup.

And, come on - give Calio a break. $20,000 vs. $200 isn’t really much of a story. Nice try Bres.

Support from six feet under

The Los Angeles Times reported campaign finance expert Dan Morain has found Obama campaign records reporting a $50 donation by Roy Scheider, who lists his occupation as actor and his home as Sag Harbor, N.Y.

Perhaps you remember Roy from movies such as, ‘The French Connection’ and ‘Jaws’ and the immortal line: ‘You’re gonna need a bigger boat’?

According to the campaign records, Scheider flipped BO a few bucks on March 10. Only problem - Scheider died exactly one month before that, on Feb. 10 at the age of 75.

If you’re counting at home - that brings Barack’s total online supporters in March from 300,454,878 down to 300,454,877.

Bringing the Noyes!

Tuesday’s Senate Commerce Hearing on the “Future of the Internet” had lots of DC paying attention.

Andrew Noyes of Tech Daily Dose picked up the quote of the day:

“I believe I am the only panelist to have written a film about a robot poker tournament in Space Vegas in the year 3009 so I think my expertise in the area is unquestionable.” – Writers Guild of America, West President Patric Verrone during his Tuesday testimony before the Senate Commerce Committee on the future of the Internet.

This is the U.S. Senate, folks.

Breaking News: Capitol Hill staffers are poor

In news that won’t rock any headlines… the people on Capitol Hill actually writing the legislation, going to all the meetings and doing all the work - well, apparently they don’t get paid well. [makes cents]

The Politico recently featured a story on Capitol Hill staffers who willingly struggle to get by - because of the love of the game.

With the demand for House and Senate jobs greatly outweighing the supply - open positions often yield more than 100 applicants - starting salaries can be low, sometimes starting at $25,000 a year after taxes, according to an analysis of public salary data on Legistorm.com. Though that’s well above the poverty line, in a city like D.C., where a beer can cost $1 a sip and taxi fares are higher than those in Manhattan, $25,000 won’t take a Hill staffer very far. 

The article goes on to allude that perhaps some staffers [trust fund babies] on Capitol Hill don’t exactly tell the truth when it comes to other kinds of financial aid they might be receiving.

Staffers use various methods - including the occasional phone call home - to get by financially. But it’s not something they like to own up to. Of several staffers contacted who agreed to be interviewed for this story, none received outright financial assistance from parents. Some do, however, enjoy living at home rent-free.  

And leave it to the Yale grad interviewed to have this scholastic approach to not pissing your money away at local watering holes.

“Mainly, don’t drink it away,” he advised. “It’s incredibly easy to spend $30 on three bottles of wine and invite 10 people over and have a great night, whereas if you [go to] a happy hour, one or two people can spend that much on just a couple drinks.” 

The good news:  If you’re a Capitol Hill staffer looking for good drink specials this summer - you’re in luck.  FamousDC will soon to roll out the Ultimate Capitol Hill Drinking Guide.

Stay tuned and Stay Classy.

Latest Links

Happy Tax Freedom Day [the Song!]
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Earth Day Update From Capitol Hill [Ecotainer]
The Pelosi Premium [message coordination]
$60K?! I only parked for an hour [oddly enough]
H-O-V-M-A-R-R-I-E-D [hottest chick in the game]

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