#NATIONAL Forbes sold their majority stake to Integrated Whale Media Investments, which just sounds like a practical joke; Whoa Microsoft, whoa; Silvio Berlusconi’s still got it; Congress wants us to go to another moon; origami spacecraft; taking endless appetizers way past an appropriate limit; swimsuit contest + insulin pump = Miss Idaho; a library you pay for; the Rock – in the ’90s; no more birthday dinners; adore again;

#DISTRICT Warren Rojas let us know that Randy Weber is a Congressional prankster; We can’t wait to see the “affordable” pricing on these shipping container apartments; did your office get ice cream delivered today?; Congratulations to our own Amos Snead; you’re wearing your bike helmet wrong; gondolas, just one way to let people know your neighborhood is completely out of touch; shed a goodbye tear for tailgating at Nationals Park; “Hey wow, looks like this is a valid driver’s license!” – New Hampshire; Live in DC? Making $100k yet? Work on it; party on Washington City Paper’s dime; these D.C. buildings are brutal; Yearning to GTFO of D.C? WAMU chronicles your D.C. bucketlist; cell phone sidewalk lane; guns and HOBs don’t mix; buses: they could be electric; PHEW;

#MEDIAMOVES thanks to @StoryPartners: @Mlowsmith jumps from @NPR where she was SVP of News to @TheAtlantic to take over @Atlantic_LIVE and the Atlantic Events division. Smith was with NPR for 30+ years. Other moves this week include @davidperla taking over @BloombergBNA legal and @HallieJackson joining @NBCNews as a Network Correspondent, leaving the humidity of DC for the beaches of Los Angeles. Finally, @Chicoharlan returns stateside for the @washingtonpost, leaving Japan where he was East Asia Bureau Chief for four years. He will be covering personal economics, while @sinderbrand leaves Politico for the newly created role of WaPo’s Political News Editor. Meanwhile @StoryPartners is looking for two people to join its growing team: http://storypartnersdc.com/join-team/.

#BYE Enjoy the tail-end of that beautiful polar vortex out there; FamousDC out.

Also, major props to Grantland writer Andrew Sharp for giffing up this article about the Washington Wizards‘ newest player. Don’t read this unless you want to get real excited about the Wizards – his timeline of this weekend’s events will make any fairweather fan tune in.

“Paul Pierce is going to the Wizards. Paul Pierce is going to … the Wizards? The Wizards, yes. Paul Pierce. Is going. To. The Wizards.

…In the end, it’s a message to everyone out there who thought last year was fun, but this year the party would be over.

Honestly, even I kinda thought the party was over.

But you know what?

THE PARTY’S NOT OVER.”

 

Hannah Hess at Roll Call reported some badass news last night:

Republican Rep. Don Young, the self-described “alpha wolf” of Alaska politics, allegedly barged through the police line established to prevent members of Congress and staff from entering the Capitol following the spill. According to multiple sources, Young told an officer trying to stop him from entering the Capitol: “I don’t care if the building is closed,” cursed at the cop, then barged into the scene of the cleanup.

We’ve always suspected Congressman Young isn’t afraid of any beast in the great outdoors — but now we know he’s definitely not afraid of asbestos either.

Photo via Alaska Dispatch News

Hey Interns,

Stop scrolling through your Twitter feed.

Put your smartphone down.

Your hair looks fine, step back from the mirror.

Want to be better? Then there’s something much more important for you to check out.  Roll Call published the Best Intern Ever e-book, a collection of the best of Rebecca Gale’s Hill Navigator columns aimed at interns. Read it and become a better intern. Roll Call explains:

..not all interns are created equal. And Hill Navigator acknowledges that not all interns come prepared. This is many interns’ first professional exposure, so aspects such as dress code, social media policy and even punctuality may be out of their realm of understanding. Some internships are part of a larger program that might include trainings, mentorships, realistic expectations and extracurriculars — visits to the White House and Capitol Dome tours — that can set interns up for success, and a positive internship experience can be instrumental in landing a paying job.  Internships are finite. There are always more bright-eyed, wannabe staffers ready to take your place, so it’s up to you to make the most of it while you can.

See more at Roll Call and share this link with all current and aspiring interns you know: roll.cl/BestInternEVER

Inspirational U.S. Capitol dome photo by John Sonderman

Exhausted. That’s the word that best describes how you will feel after this movie. It is 2 hours and 45 minutes, not including previews. This movie is a chore. The CGI? Same as the last three movies. The acting? Are you kidding me?!?. The lack of Megan Fox? An unmitigated cinematic tragedy.  I’m not going dwell on the plot not making sense. Complaining about the plot not making sense in a Transformers movie is like bitching about the lack of flavor in a Natty Lite. What the else did you expect?

There is no compelling reason why 165 minutes are necessary to tell a story about Marky Mark and handful of oversized, malleable Hot Wheels. Hell, the final battle lasted a full 30 (freaking) minutes.

The saddest thing: It’s actually better than the last two Transformer movies. Decent step up of the characters, their connection to one another, and the overall plot (No matter how complicated and pretzel-like it might be). In fact, the first 1 and 45 minutes is NOT a complete train wreck. However, after this 45th minute, it’s straight downhill. Stilted dialog, predictable outcomes, and my goodness do the Transformers themselves sound stupid.

Do me a favor: Don’t see this movie. Fireworks and beer are expensive. I’m saying you’re better off blowing up your money. Be your own version of Michael Bay.

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If a rainbow shows up in DC and wasn’t Instagrammed 12,000 times – did it really happen?

#NATIONAL Do you love dogs and weapons? Then the TSA’s Instagram is for you; Emmy nominations: who got robbed?; If soccer injuries were real life; we’re irrationally peeved about this guy and his potato salad; better start moving north – way north; Friday gif via Vox re: TURNT; It’s a good thing – Martha Stewart’s drone; Blonde models love huntingCan’t stop watching; Peeling fruit and vegetables is easier than we thought; Britney’s unedited vocals aren’t that bad; Lebron goes home; Pour a little Nixon in your ears;

#DISTRICT @ByronTau finally started following @AmosSnead on Twitter; Asbestos huh? Well, seeya later; Politicians – they’re just like us!; Who also wants to join this bootcamp?; Now we want Hideaway to be our regular HH spot; @congressedits; You may now pay to eat catnip in DuPont; Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton lookin’ out for Capitol Hill; this is the one summer it may not completely suck to be in D.C. temperature-wise; NoVa getting a giant indoor shooting range, presumably so people can rage about living in NoVa; OMG yes Ice Cream Jubilee coming to SW; get ready for a Bible museum in DC; Adams Morgan and the quest to make liquor freely available, but only with dinner; who is going to this amazing pirate rock and roll cruise on the Potomac?;

#BIRTHDAY Happy birthday week to @stefpetrop, @mikepasko, @kennyames and Sean McMorrow;

#MEDIAMOVES thanks to @StoryPartners: Wall Street Journal celebrates 125 years, Happy Birthday! Congratulations to Bob Moser and Ben Pershing on their new gigs at National Journal.  Bob Moser will join on as senior editor and Ben Pershing will be the new Washington editor responsible for covering Congress and The White House. Shawna Thomas joins the Meet the Press team as Senior Editor.  Georgetown Media Group will say a farewell to its fashion writer and publisher’s assistant Corrie Dyke as she heads down to join South magazine as its managing editor. Alexis Madrigal, who has covered science and technology for The Atlantic since 2010, has been promoted to Deputy Editor of the magazine’s online edition.

#BYE Carpe weekend, here’s where we’ll be.

It’s been a tough week. Let the most perfect weekend ever (read: every weekend) begin. Feast on these delicious weekend activities.

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