There have been a lot of reactions to The Hill’s 50 Most Beautiful List, a tradition 11 years in the running, but we’ve collected a few of the best here. Enjoy.

Best Use of Smarmy Sarcasm

“Scientifically speaking, the most beautiful person on the hill would be a well-oiled sailor in wrinkled jeans, a tie, and a Hermés scarf.”

-Allie Jones, Gawker (How to Be Beautiful, According to D.C.’s “50 Most Beautiful People”)

Best Highlight of Conflicting Beauty Advice

“Be Rand Paul … Be Young … Go to the Gym … Don’t Go to the Gym … Start a Blog … Don’t Iron Your Jeans”

-Arit John, the Wire (“Six Sad Ways to Land a Spot on The Hill’s 2015 Most Beautiful People List)

Best Complete Call-Out

“Everyone just relax, says this dude, who took somewhat intimidating crossed-arms photos for this light-hearted feature. ‘It’s cliche, but I try very hard not to take myself too seriously in this town.’  Sure.”

-Sarah Larimer, The Fix, Washington Post (Everything you need to know to be beautiful, according to The Hill’s “50 Most Beautiful” list)

Most DC Reaction

“…without much further ado, here are the four most beautiful government relations professionals on the Hill.”

-Tess VandenDolder, In the Capital (4 Top Influencers From The Hill’s Most Beautiful List)

Biggest Picture

“Number of Washington politicos attempting to convince us that they — no, really — don’t have an affiliation: 8″

“Number who seriously believe that: 0″

-Walt Hickey, FiveThirtyEight (The Number of Beautiful People on Capitol Hill: 50)

Most Humbled Beautiful Person

“It’s been a whirlwind morning for Danielle Sikes, who on Tuesday took the top spot on The Hill’s 50 Most Beautiful list. … ‘I’m not going to go down to that cafeteria today.’”

-Judy Kurtz, The Hill (50 Most Beautiful winner ‘in shock’).

#NATIONAL #DarthVader2016; 100 days until the election, can you make it?; Summer Vortex > Polar Vortex; Yelp trends: Chicken or the egg?; Nope nope nope nope; Could a Sharknado actually happen?; Type /ponystream into your gchat, just do it; Don’t just adopt a pet, adopt a best friend; there’s an out-of-control satellite full of procreating geckos in space right now; LeBron James played by Morgan Freeman played by … Frank Caliendo; it’s called fashion;

#DISTRICT 5 Words: Shelly’s Back Room Stuffed Burgers; The new Silver Line is actually a go; these people are obviously on drugs; Pop-up solar panels in Columbia Heights; Washington Kastles (YesWeHaveATennisTeam) advance to WTT final; Yep, that Old Bay fried chicken sandwich is as good as it looks; The sneak-peak you’ve always wanted; Library of Congress’ erotica collection; Screen on the Green returns; Hogo, D.C.’s top tiki bar is set to close; DC is a happy metropolitan area; Would you live in a shipping container?; Car2Go = Car2Hate; Prepare for pierogi withdrawal. Mighty Pint is temporarily closed; Sauf Haus Bier Hall opens in DuPont; Streetcars streetcars streeeeetcars; MGM Resort is officially dating National Harbor; “All Things Go” music festival will take over Union Market in September; BTW, new ‪#SilverLine ad features broken escalator…; Maybe stop bringing your gun to the Hill?; Trump [and his hair] break ground on his new hotel; Are cyclists getting a little too aggressive for you too?; Be bold and eat Ben’s Chili before a flight at DCA; GRK = YUM; Fred Davis runs into some legal trouble; Test your pinball talents this weekend at Lyman’s Tavern; Celebrate Smith & Wollensky’s 15th B-day with half-priced appetizers and drink specials; Cool off with a boozy summer slushy at Eat the Rich; Washington’s first cake-pop boutique could open soon;

#CONGRATS Congrats to Mary Beth Marklein, Chase Purdy, Jen Judson and Patrick Temple-West on their new POLITICO gigs; Cory Booker, Gov. O’Malley & Ezra Klein dine together at Del Campo; Michelle O enjoys Tuesday night’s Washington Kastles game; Congrats to BuzzFeed’s Chris Geidner for his NLGJA 2014 Journalist of the Year award!; Is David Gregory‘s ‘MTP’ time running out?; Joshua Topolsky [co-founder of TheVerge.com] joins Bloomberg;

#MEDIAMOVES thanks to @StoryPartners: Garrett Graff – joins @PoliticoMag as a senior staff writer. Graff – former the EIC @Washingtonian – left the magazine after 4+ years at the helm.  Atlantic Media’s @DefenseOne celebrates its first year with major moves – announcing plans to double its staff by adding 11 new full-time editorial and business employees. The digital vertical which serves the U.S. defense and national security leadership community received nearly 600K visitors in its first year. Big congrats! Congrats also go out to @eliselabottcnn who was named global affairs correspondent… Labott’s been with CNN for 14 years with stints as a State Department producer and most recently a foreign affairs reporter. The President of Pew Research Center @alansmurray moves over to @FortuneMagazine as editor. Murray served as executive editor for @WSJ’s website as well as DC Bureau chief in the past. He takes over at Fortune on Aug. 25.

#BYE Seeing Billy Joel at Nationals Park? Here’s what you need to know.; Celebrate recess @ BLT Steak; Yes, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is a good movie  choice; We’ll be BEER FEST-ing tomorrow. Cya there.

Today’s roundup brought to you by SP+KC.

The Skinny (No Spoilers)

Apes so real, you’ll feel like they ACTUALLY want to kill you!

Solid film and sequel. The entire movie depends on the CGI and the effects don’t disappoint. The Apes steal the show, leaving humans as supporting cast and catalyst for the drama within the primate’s world. While nothing really shocked me per se, there were a number of plot turns that I found enjoyable and well thought out.

With appearances by (cause the apes are the real stars) former Gotham Police commissioner Gary Oldman, 19980’s Soviet spy Keri Russell, and Jay Gatsby-nemesis Jason Clarke, the movie uses humans just enough to bring this movie back down to earth (Get it???!!!)

The best part about it was that it’s a very human tale: hope, revenge, betrayal. Now is this the best movie of the year? No. It feels a tad long. There are only so many minutes you can watch semi-verbal animals. However it is worth the money and your time.

The Deep Dive (Spoilers)

Just an old-school tale of monkey see, monkey coup…

10 years after the events of Rise of the Planet of the Apes, humanity has descended into chaos due to disease and warfare. The apes however, have established their own fully functional society with verbal and sign communication, art, and social structure. Some of the humans left in San Francisco need power, and make a pact with the primates for access to a dam on the ape’s territory. Unfortunately both sides have members that refuse to trust the other, causing rifts on each side. For the apes, it leads to a revolution: Caesar, the head ape, is overthrown by his 2nd in command Koba. In the end Caesar regains his position of power, but not before Koba attacks and attempts to enslave the humans of San Francisco. We are left with this belief that this was the first shot fired in a longer and deadlier conflict (aka the third and fourth future movies).

Credit must be given to the writers, computer technicians, and director for make these computer generated animals extreme sympathetic and believable. I cannot stress the importance of that in this movie. Since the audience spends an absorbent amount of time with these characters, the entire film hinges on 1) “do I believe these apes really exist?”, and 2) “do I give a damn?”. For me, both questions are answered in the affirmative.

Treacherous Koba, the most treacherous little money…

The best part of the movie is the coup and the build up to it. Koba wants revenge for the horrible treatment that he was subjected by humans. The audience sees the scars on Koba, examples of human stupidity in relation to apes, and a sense of Koba’s thirst for power. While no one would agree with his methods, we certainly see where he is coming from. We get a sense that betrayal is just around the corner, how it occurs is well done and very, very human.

This is a damn good addition to the series, setting the table for a third movie which should be just one uninterrupted battle. Can’t wait.

#NATIONAL Forbes sold their majority stake to Integrated Whale Media Investments, which just sounds like a practical joke; Whoa Microsoft, whoa; Silvio Berlusconi’s still got it; Congress wants us to go to another moon; origami spacecraft; taking endless appetizers way past an appropriate limit; swimsuit contest + insulin pump = Miss Idaho; a library you pay for; the Rock – in the ’90s; no more birthday dinners; adore again;

#DISTRICT Warren Rojas let us know that Randy Weber is a Congressional prankster; We can’t wait to see the “affordable” pricing on these shipping container apartments; did your office get ice cream delivered today?; Congratulations to our own Amos Snead; you’re wearing your bike helmet wrong; gondolas, just one way to let people know your neighborhood is completely out of touch; shed a goodbye tear for tailgating at Nationals Park; “Hey wow, looks like this is a valid driver’s license!” – New Hampshire; Live in DC? Making $100k yet? Work on it; party on Washington City Paper’s dime; these D.C. buildings are brutal; Yearning to GTFO of D.C? WAMU chronicles your D.C. bucketlist; cell phone sidewalk lane; guns and HOBs don’t mix; buses: they could be electric; PHEW;

#MEDIAMOVES thanks to @StoryPartners: @Mlowsmith jumps from @NPR where she was SVP of News to @TheAtlantic to take over @Atlantic_LIVE and the Atlantic Events division. Smith was with NPR for 30+ years. Other moves this week include @davidperla taking over @BloombergBNA legal and @HallieJackson joining @NBCNews as a Network Correspondent, leaving the humidity of DC for the beaches of Los Angeles. Finally, @Chicoharlan returns stateside for the @washingtonpost, leaving Japan where he was East Asia Bureau Chief for four years. He will be covering personal economics, while @sinderbrand leaves Politico for the newly created role of WaPo’s Political News Editor. Meanwhile @StoryPartners is looking for two people to join its growing team: http://storypartnersdc.com/join-team/.

#BYE Enjoy the tail-end of that beautiful polar vortex out there; FamousDC out.

Also, major props to Grantland writer Andrew Sharp for giffing up this article about the Washington Wizards‘ newest player. Don’t read this unless you want to get real excited about the Wizards – his timeline of this weekend’s events will make any fairweather fan tune in.

“Paul Pierce is going to the Wizards. Paul Pierce is going to … the Wizards? The Wizards, yes. Paul Pierce. Is going. To. The Wizards.

…In the end, it’s a message to everyone out there who thought last year was fun, but this year the party would be over.

Honestly, even I kinda thought the party was over.

But you know what?

THE PARTY’S NOT OVER.”

 

Hannah Hess at Roll Call reported some badass news last night:

Republican Rep. Don Young, the self-described “alpha wolf” of Alaska politics, allegedly barged through the police line established to prevent members of Congress and staff from entering the Capitol following the spill. According to multiple sources, Young told an officer trying to stop him from entering the Capitol: “I don’t care if the building is closed,” cursed at the cop, then barged into the scene of the cleanup.

We’ve always suspected Congressman Young isn’t afraid of any beast in the great outdoors — but now we know he’s definitely not afraid of asbestos either.

Photo via Alaska Dispatch News

Hey Interns,

Stop scrolling through your Twitter feed.

Put your smartphone down.

Your hair looks fine, step back from the mirror.

Want to be better? Then there’s something much more important for you to check out.  Roll Call published the Best Intern Ever e-book, a collection of the best of Rebecca Gale’s Hill Navigator columns aimed at interns. Read it and become a better intern. Roll Call explains:

..not all interns are created equal. And Hill Navigator acknowledges that not all interns come prepared. This is many interns’ first professional exposure, so aspects such as dress code, social media policy and even punctuality may be out of their realm of understanding. Some internships are part of a larger program that might include trainings, mentorships, realistic expectations and extracurriculars — visits to the White House and Capitol Dome tours — that can set interns up for success, and a positive internship experience can be instrumental in landing a paying job.  Internships are finite. There are always more bright-eyed, wannabe staffers ready to take your place, so it’s up to you to make the most of it while you can.

See more at Roll Call and share this link with all current and aspiring interns you know: roll.cl/BestInternEVER

Inspirational U.S. Capitol dome photo by John Sonderman