#NATIONAL If you have to ask what Serial is, you need this Vox post h/t Morgan Gress; The 12 days of bacon is everything; Sony’s leaked emails are really entertaining; Colbert is killing it with interviews lately; What’s in the box?!; It’s just $4;

#DISTRICT Dear house staffer telling the Google check-in desk at the W Hotel that your job is essential to them surviving as a company and you should be added to the list, “You probably have a headache this morning.”; Tell Jackie Kucinich you’re sorry about her Ohio State Buckeyes making such an early exit in the college football playoffs.; Leaving K Street for Capitol Hill is the new black; “We should do lunch soon” is the same thing you said to that person at last year’s holiday party.; nice try DC; Best headline of the week: “How a Santa Impersonator Saved Christmas for Congress“; a year of bitching and brunching; Cutest official Member Facebook status this week; Congressional staff walk out; Parking is about to get more expensive in Chinatown; Matt Dornic is the man; Rob Saliterman can throw a party; Gindy can pull off a full houndstooth suit; Brendan Buck is still tall; Jack Smith should have been a rapper; Tell Mark Isakowitz congratulations on his new hill gig; Summer Bravo is leaving the hill; Have you told all your favorite journalists congratulations on their National Press Foundation award? By the way, this will likely hurt John Stanton’s street cred.; Was this a long week or the LONGEST EVER?;

#HAPPY Congratulations to the Shultz family on bringing the newest SEC fan into the world; Did Kelly Cohen get her birthday Tweet from Drake?; Happy birthday week to Kelly Cohen, Will Carraco, Allison Schneider and Andrew Ricci;

#MEDIAMOVES thanks to @StoryPartners Pulitzer Prize winner and literary critic Jonathan Yardley says farewell to the Washington Post after 33 years and more than 3,000 reviews—we wish Mr. Yardley a happy retirement! Washington institution Candy Crowley leaves CNN after a 27 year run at the cable news network. Big news at POLITICO: the media company announced that it has acquired European Voice, a Brussels-based publication. Current owner and publisher, Shéhérazade Semsar-de Boisséson, will become managing director of POLITICO’s European operation in charge of business operations. Matthew Kaminski, a senior journalist and commentator on international affairs with The Wall Street Journal, will serve as executive editor overseeing more than 30 journalists. The official rebranding will take place in spring 2015.

#BYE See you at the Capital Club’s 23rd Annual Santa Soiree tomorrow night, and at Sticky Rice on Sunday.

You’re going to be wiped out from a Saturday night of partying, and if we know you, you’re probably going to need some good karma.

Rework your Sunday evening to join Shannon Croom with Mission 29.2 at Sticky Rice 1224 H St NE DC for a fundraiser benefiting Mission292’s upcoming trip to Haiti. All proceeds go toward furthering education; building schools, supplies, uniforms and such. We hope you’ll make it but if you can’t, stay home guilt free and consider making a donation here: 

www.crowdrise.com/shannoncroom

#NATIONAL 22 people had to approve Mitt Romney’s tweets; Peter Pan didn’t do too hot; Nope nope nope; Japan’s new thing is drenching burgers in cheese fondue; what the guy next to you at the coffee shop is furiously typing; Yo bitch; Goodbye UAB football; NASA launched a new rocket, what did you do this week?; Hogwarts is real but it’s in Poland; Does your Friday need more hot air balloon gifs?; But how slow is molasses, really?;

#DISTRICTLet’s shut down 395,” said the worst developer in the world; who’s getting an &pizza tattoo?; the Colbert Report booked the President; goodbye CityZen; Who still has a Blackberry?; Remembering Marion Barry; his beard made him do it; the National Christmas tree has been lit; Jogger saves WaPo columnist’s life, columnist repays; maybe you haven’t been out and about in the District lately, but there are protests; We can’t top Loretta Sanchez’s Christmas card;

#MEDIAMOVES thanks to @StoryPartners: Over at the Washington Post, Jed Hartman was named Chief Revenue Officer, Dan Steinberg becomes a columnist for Sports, Megan Poinski joins Capital Business as Web Editor and Adam B. Kushner was named Editor of Post Outlook. Jackie Kucinich joins The Daily Beast as Senior Politics Editor. Peter Bale, formerly of CNN International, will serve as CEO at the Center for Public Integrity.  Matt Thompson is leaving NPR to be Deputy Editor at TheAtlantic.com. Justin Rood, former staffer for Sen. Coburn, will lead the congressional oversight initiative at the Project on Government Oversight. Rachel Racusen, former White House staffer, was named the new VP of communications for MSNBC. Karen Finney joins Media Matters For America as a senior fellow and consultant. Brian Weiss leaves WaPo to join The Justice Network in Atlanta. POLITICO hires Katy Theranger as a new talent recruiter. Former Boehner press secretary, Brendan Buck, is leaving AHIP to be Rep. Paul Ryan’s communications director on the powerful House Ways and Means Committee. Shout out to the Entertainment Software Association (ESA) for celebrating its big 20th anniversary this week!

#EVENMOREMM h/t Brian Johnson: Sage Eastman recently left Ways and Means Majority to join Mehlman, Castegnetti, etc. Jeff Shockey, a co-founder and managing partner of Shockey Scofield Solutions, is the new staff director of House Intelligence Committee.

#BYE We’ll probably see you because we’re both trapped in the never-ending holiday party vortex.

#NATIONAL #ThanksMichelleObama; Interstellar led to a real scientific discovery; we’re not #SayingThanks, Facebook; the Onion writers are increasingly brilliant characterizing Joe Biden; we will call anyone Ebola Nurse if we want to because this is America; Uber this week; more celebrities reading mean Tweets; Russia is creepin on your webcam; Amazon planning to take over every facet of your life; Vogue has rats; 80 million bacteria microbes are what’s in his kiss; Comcast may start charging for how much data you use; goodbye familiar wines;

#DISTRICT OK, who stole the popcorn truck?; Go go Capitol Christmas Tree; It will be 73 on Monday; How awesome would this be?; a map you will need to reference this weekend; Metro escalators have to be cursed; don’t even look at how many people will take to VA roads for Thanksgiving travel this year; when did the latest bus from crazytown come in?; Mt. Vernon is a child-free paradise; DC’s reporters will be turned away from meeting William and Kate if they’re too frumpy; Zoolights by the numbers; the epitome of DC’s coolness is … Georgetown;

#INSIDER Every energy lobbyist in town just updated Jason Knox’s new contact information; Rachel Racusen loves Saturday Night Live. Loves it.; High five for Chris Hughes, Guy Vidra and Bob Brennan congratulations on the 100 year anniversary of The New Republic;  Ask Kenny Day how long Bill Clinton can talk without looking at his notes;  Tell Carrie Blewitt on her new gig with Story Partners;  POLITICO’s Jack Smith = full-time connector, part-time realtor;  We all miss Arthur Bochner’s’ additions to the Friday Round Up;  Bettina Inclan and Izzy Ortega rock; Steve Stombres, Kyle Nevins and John O’Neill are hang a shingle; Paul Singer can pitch and draw on whiteboards; Congrats to Abby Matousek on her amazing Cherry Blossom 10 Miler shirt design!; We can’t wait to hear the big ideas going around at tonight’s women in entrepreneurship discussion; Do you have your tickets to the National Press Foundation’s dinner on February 18?;

#HAPPY Birthday week to Rick Klein, Jacob Wood, Chris Gindlesperger, Bridget Nutt Huffman, Colby Taylor Nelson (whose dad is definitely Joe Biden), Joe Brady and Taylor Gilliam;

#MEDIAMOVES thanks to @StoryPartners: POLITICO has hired Bill Duryea and Michael Kruse of the Tampa Bay Times. In addition to investing in some snow boots and parkas, Buryea will spearhead the media company’s new enterprise project and Kruse will serve as senior writer focusing on enterprise going into the 2016 election cycle. At the Washington Post, Chelsea Janes has been assigned to the Nats beat. Story Partners brings on communications vet Carrie Blewitt as Senior Vice President of the strategic public affairs firm.

#BYE Pour a drink and we’ll be right over.